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Video: One in three young people “would fear telling parents about HIV”

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  1. And what percentage of teenagers would be afraid to tell their parents they were pregnant (or had gotten someone pregnant) so we can have a comparative look.

  2. As difficult as it may be for anyone to tell a parent about something they fear will result in rejection or worse – people need to know that Disclosure of Status is a personal choice no one is obliged morally or legally to tell (except of course in protecting sexual partners) –
    Surely it is time for all of us to rid HIV of this stigma.

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:24am


  3. Samuel B. 1 Dec 2011, 5:06pm

    In a perfect world there would be no stigma, period. Yet how can HIV be destigmatised without sending out a signal that it is in any way desirable? If you destigmatise something, aren’t you in effect normalising or even glamorising it?

    We have arrived at a juncture where we have no choice but to accept that if HIV is to be tackled head-on and infection rates drastically reduced, we must accept that stigma is a necessary evil that may arise as a byproduct of fighting HIV’s spread.

    Of course we should avoid stigmatising wherever possible, but if we are to prevent thousands more infections annually ad infinitum, surely the need to protect people from HIV must come ahead of the possible risk of stigmatising those with the virus?

    Stigma is the eternal excuse of the PC HIV sector not to run the kind of harder-edged campaigns that could see HIV rates tumble. Perversely it has thus contributed to record rates of infection and the increasing normalisation of HIV among many gay men.

    1. Stigma is precisely the reason why some people are afraid to get tested.

      Stigma is not effective.

      There are some people who seek to glamorise HIV they are a tiny minority of weirdos and are not representative of most people living with HIV or educating people about HIV.

      People with HIV have enough to stigma to deal with already.

      People need more education about how HIV is transmitted and prevented and they also need more information about what it is like TODAY (not how things were in the 80s and 90s) to live with HIV.

      No one should sugar coat anything but no one should lie to scare people either.

    2. “we must accept that stigma is a necessary evil”


      Is there something wrong with you? No, seriously, have you suffered a stroke?

      I do not want a world where “stigma” is associated with a disease, no matter what disease it is. This isn’t the dark ages of miasma induced illness. Stigma leads to refusal of treatment, fear, undiagnosed cases and an front of an individuals civil liberties. What a utterly ridiculous assertion to make.

      You make some really stupid comments here, but you’ve outdone yourself today.

      1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:22am

        Indeed… whats the difference between being stigmatised for being HIV and being stigmatised for being Gay?

    3. Spanner1960 2 Dec 2011, 9:26am

      Samual: I do actually see your point, but I think the fact that HIV is both a sexually transmitted disease, and secondly considered by most to be a gay one does attach a big problem.

      That said, I remember not so long ago people mumbling under their breath about “The Big C”, and about so-and-so who had it, and cancer did once have a similar stigma attached, as if you could catch it from someone, and that it was always terminal.

      Such things such as breast and prostate cancer awareness campaigns must have saved thousands, if not millions, but I still know of one man that discovered a lump in their testicle, yet still refuses to go to a doctors for fear of embarrassment.

      I found this rather sad story of why stigma can ultimately kill:

      1. @ spanner
        I have to acknowledge that for the most part I agree with your comments. I can also vividly remember the scenario you recount with regard to cancer. Now that cancer is better understood and can for any be successfully treated we now talk about more openly and as a result cancer survival rates are increasing due to awareness & earlier diagnosis.

        It is fear of the unknown that made those people mumble the word “cancer” under their breath, and to a big extent the same applies to HIV but because of its link to sex and marginalised groups, HIV infection as been stigmatised since the 80’s and it seems to me that for some commentators stigma is the only tool in the box available in the era of effective HIV treatment to be used in prevention campaigns.

      2. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:17am

        “secondly considered by most to be a gay one”

        And what stops people thinking that and then go on to think they are immune?

    4. “Of course we should avoid stigmatising wherever possible”

      You think?

      Nah, lets go back to the days where we tremble in fear at diseases like superstitious morons and shun those who are infected with he devil’s evil.

      You’re one classic case of complete idiot Samuel.

    5. Jose (a different one) 3 Dec 2011, 12:45pm

      ” ….we must accept that stigma is a necessary evil that may arise as a byproduct of fighting HIV’s spread.”

      It hasn’t though has it. Its done the opposite. Its made people afraid to test, to go and get help, to ask others for support.

      I can accept that the point you made was a valid theory, because it could of worked in the way you suggest, but we have exhaustively tested the stigma route and its turned out to be vastly detrimental to tackling the disease.

    6. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:20am

      Stigma you want doesn’t just affect Gay men. It affect all whether they were raped, given by mistake, given birth to with it… you necessary evil is just to brainwash and allow bullying, intimidation.

      It is wrong. It make you the unnecessary evil. You don’t matter.

  4. Jose (a different one) 1 Dec 2011, 7:50pm

    I’m staggered that the figure is so low. Of all the people I know with HIV I don’t think any have been able to tell their parents.

    I have told mine and they have been fantastic, but I have often discussed with friends the fact they haven’t felt able to disclose and for most it isn’t something they would even consider.

  5. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 6:40am

    Children should never have to fear telling their parents they have hiv, just like they should never have to fear talking to their parents about being gay, or pregnant, parents need to love their children, they may get chewed out for getting pregnant, or having sex when they should not have been having sex and especially not wearing condums, This nation is guilty of not putting enough concern on teenagers and kids period , very few people have tried to help families educate, and protect their children from gangs and bullying and other crisis, THE ACLU MUST REPRIMAND THE SCHOOL FOR PUTTING OUT A HIV STUDENT , THAT SHOULD NEVER BE ALLOWED, IT STIGMATIZES THE CHILD AND COULD LEAD TO MORE SUICIDES, OF FEELING UNLOVED AND WANTED, THIS IS CHILD ABUSE AND THE FAMILY ADVOCATES AGAINST CHILD AN ADULT ABUSE MUST GET INVOLVED ALONG WITH THE ACLU TO STOP THE DISCRIMINATION OF EVEN HIV KIDS AN ADULTS, THE PEOPLE IN SCHOOLS ARE NOT A DANGER TO ANYONE WHEN THEY HAVE HIV UNLESS BLOOD AND SEX IS PASSED

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:13am

      ok shouting now

  6. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 6:46am

    As long as the child or adult is not going around the school trying to have sex with other students and sexually harrassing them, you have no right to put an adult or child out of colleges nor schools for hiv, The health report nations wide reported 64% of all hetersexual men are carrying sexual deseases, because of their filthy behavior, children and women and a few of the men simply catch aids from dirty needles from drug addictions, and have not commited any harm to others , just have a drug depedency and need rehab not jail, and they are still good people if they have not committed any harm to others, their problems only effect them, The same with hiv, If a person is a nurse or a doctor or someone handling blood and surgical procedures of others, and they or hiv positive , they , need to assist only by handing the utensil why surgery is going on, as a caution to themselves and the pateint and patients familiy, They should remain doctors and nurses and do procedures and paperwork

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:12am

      so much…

  7. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 6:53am

    There are many things hiv people can do that is not infectious to people , unless they are passing solova, meaning spit, and blood and sexual seamon and come, and getting these fluids on others they are okay, the schools nor media, nor even other affiliates are doing enough to educate on sexual transmitte deseases, they just talk about them, thats not enough, young children , even adults need to hear and no more, and be encouraged to wear condums if they are not withstaining from having sex, the schools should be helping parents by trianing and having health physicians talk to the girls which are women and health physicians men and women talk to the boys for proper delivery, about sex and sex without condums the horror s of it from unwanted pregancy, and sexual desease factors, children need to be encoured by private women for the girls and women doctors to the boys to masturbate , in the privacy of their home bathroom or bedroom, rather than help spread hiv or catch it , and pregnatin

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:12am


  8. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 6:59am

    The system must stop being care less with chidren and taken it for granted that they no everything they dont, they have lambedos, and harmon problems along with peer pressure, and gangs pressures, and some of what they watch on tv and some of what they see the men in their lives do in messing over women, all the bad men sexually out of control and no good mentors as fathers , nor even ministers, or grandfathers , b;ut more like pedaphiles , wife beaters, and screwing around on their wives , with everyone and their children no it and see it, or somebody tells them , the boys duplicate the bad behavior, of wicked men, from violence and sexual abuse of young girls, they see the men do, everyday, Its wrong and the men are to blame, the young girls would not have such a hard time if the boys had better fathers who taught them morals not religion , but just good, decent morals of respecting girls and their bodies , because its right to do so, and then sit them down and explain the horrors

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:10am


  9. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:06am

    This is a big deal, because at the first of every school year , there should be a mandotory meeting with all faculty and administration, about sexual harrassment and discrimination, and total respect of each other and the children wich are not thiers but intrusted by parents, to be kept safe from harm in any way, against bullying and racism and sexual assault of pedhafile teachers and other children assault in any way, they would have to sign a legislation after the meeting that they have been warned against sexual assa;ult of of other faculty, and children, and alerted that s;urveliance camera is th;ru out the school, and they will be arrested and fired if the violate anyone, this will keep down problems of all kinds b;y faculty, then they should have all teachers either talk to their individual classes as a health worker demonstrates what sexual deseases are and show films and picture of them to junior high and high school and college students, also films on bullying, rape,

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:09am

      carrie, carrie, carrie…

  10. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:13am

    Its just no excuse for all these abuses in the system and sexual assaults and abuses, there are too many simply ways to stop all of the high crimes sex crimes and bullying, Thats why the aclu must continue to sue the schools for insubordinate and lack of concerned behavior for the children and each other, in racist issues, an sexually assault issues, if you told the kids at the beginning of the year they where all on surveliance cameras in the classroom and in the halls and outside, this would cut down almost all fights and bullying an other acts of violence an sexual assault as well, the school is at fault the system of non caring faculties guilty many of them for racism an other abuses covered up, and must be uncovered anarents start suing these schools for harrassment and rasism of their children lilke this hiv child has just been horrifically stigmatized an hurt, badly by what that school done to him , his parents must get aclu and other lawyers and sue that school faculty fired

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:09am

      I’m bored…

  11. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:19am

    Right now in this society , you have hetesexual senators who have hiv aids and other deseases, and all type of other high profile people with sexual transmitted deseases , just like micheal jonson, and micheal douglas with his wife, and kealsy grammer gave his wife full blown herpies , in the news media and she filed for devorce and other sports figures, who have hiv, many, its not good, but you dont have to go home and sleep with these people , keep out of their bedroom but, you must treat them courtesly and with respect if they have respected you and not assaulted you and are not bothering you and others, they have a right to live the best happest live as long as they can without being further scutinized, and stigmatized, it they are not tryin to harm others, the one that are going around and know they have hiv, and purposely is laying around with people they should be arrested, they have a right to have partners an girlfriends adn boyfriends, b;ut they must wear condums

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:08am


  12. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:27am

    Women an young adult women, do better if they know their partner, or mate, has hiv, to use their hands with gloves on them, rather than trying to have sexual relations the regular way , its to dangerous, an men can have an orgasm same as women with hand massages with gloves exspecialy if the have a desease, it should always be saftey first, and cleaness, women and young girls should not allow boys and men to play guilt trip on their heads, by giving them the old sob , i love you ordeal, or if you love me ordeal, if they loved you they would not put your health in danger in the first place , and they would have wore a condum without you having to even ask, thats a genuine cautious and caring person, for your body and his, Their are too many ignorant females not making men wear condums, they would be on the couch or out the door until they did, respect, an real love, there are too many germs in body fluids, an they are always unhealthy, sex is no a game, its serious, for relationships

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:08am


  13. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:34am

    Health physicians need to take the time to go on tv and other medial outlets and inlets and eduacate the public on consistent basis, along with talk shows about deseases of all kinds including cancer , its vital informations that people need to know, what precautions to take , what deterrents to implement, and help aids to counter act any negative outcomes, Sex is being taken for granted and done to casually, sex is not a relationship , and it is not love, sex is a small part of a what a real relationship has involved in it when to adult people who respect and love each other do from time to time in bonding and intamcy, its should not be the first an most important thing to you , that where the nation fails and dis failing in marriages and relationships ill behavior in marriages nothing tendered and tended genuinely and kept presshuse and kind an tender, instead violent sychotic, weapon onto an into other lives leaving more wounds an broken hearts and lonliness, and devorces,bodies

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:07am


  14. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:41am

    Peole are not caring and loving each other properly, its starts in your mind, an in a sincere genuine conversations an communications with someone you should care about because they touch your heart and mind, out of goodness and like hobbies an qualites, a delight, to be wiith rather than and erection just because the person looks good, that not enough, look at your hetersexual devorce rates, no love , no tenderness, nor real kindness, and genuines, many of the men spend their time chasing other women and children rather than tending their wives, and their needs as just simply friends and cohearts , put nothing really into even trying to be goodness delivered, they asses stay out all night in strip bars , instead of putting on some bikinis ans stripping for their wives, yes she may have a few wrinkles more that the day you met her so what you have a pot belly and sags under your ass as well, you love must run deeper and heart felt, and grounded and structured out of real connectio

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:07am


  15. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:49am

    You must be able to say if i lost all of my sexual organs or she lost all of hers , would i still enjoy being with this person, would she or he still light up my world an life because we simply get and enjoy each others company, and really have other things on our iternary that we like to do together that we both enjoy with out sex, no one but a fool or a nympho stays in a want to have sex all the time mode, its gets stale and old anboring an tiring, but when you really care for one another deeply in other areas an have other common denominators of delight and hobbies, you still do well together, and take some time off from the sex until you both feel , its more inviting at another time, its more stimilating when you dont abuse or missuse it, and each other, you where not make to be animals , with spirits less than dogs, they have better manners than many humans, and cleaner, focus on other things besides sex, its very healthy for the men and women gay or hetero to masturbate

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:06am

      Does anyone read these?

  16. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 7:55am

    If you have sex like rats and roaches running all over the place , you will get sick each other and continue to strive violently to find a fix in wasted sex apades and dangerous sexual laisons, that will never work out lonliness, because sex is not a cure for loneliness , but a way to stay lonly if it is not with some adult who you really care for and really cares for you, and respects you, its no good any other way, its a wasted desaster, which leaves horribe memories of the bad person you where with and hatred for them, for leaving it. Men act like animals and that why their devorce rate is horrific, and the evils they do as hetersesxual men, is in humane and unkind and undescent, and ;unloving, but they have nerve enough to be jealous when the same women finds a good thing in someone else or seeing other in love haveing a good time in love an safe relationships, thier low down like, no their evil no good as husbands and fathers but envy others who really want loving relationships

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:06am

      slow down…

  17. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 8:02am

    So these children and adults need to be eduacated on not taking sex for granted and lightly, its to serious, show them the many examples of horrors be honest with them many of them no more than some adults. show them that your really care enough about them to take the time to pour love and concern their way, the children must be reasured you are loved, with hiv or without it, you must be real grandmothers and mothers that stand up for your children assaults by others, they need to have a loving home foundation, of kindess, even when you have to councel them on important matters, such as keep your pants zipped, wear condums if you want listen , help save your life and the girls,speak to the kids some older parents dont really know how, and or emabarrased but that why parent meetings are good and valuable, women support meetings, with their children, communicating with one another if you dont know how to adrresse issues . talk to the kids about ever;ything age appropriate,

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:05am


  18. carrie baker 4 Dec 2011, 8:11am

    Dont sit up an act like you was not a child or a teenager, with no feelings, tell the kids the truth, if you got in trouble with some issues, warn the child because you care an dont want them hurting lilke you where an exlplain to them what happened to you. That help many, to feel they have a deeper bond because you really under stand them, you cannot allow these bad racist people an schools an other entities to harm children out lack of concern for others chidren they love, these kind of people must be fired, an reprimanded and demand caring an safe faculty, who understands what being a parent means with all the fears and tears , but love, of childen, not wanting hurt or hurting seeing your own child or grandchild when you see any child and having sympathy and empathy, it could have even been you, in their shoes needing love and kindness, understanding, the nations must not tolerate , abuse and hate and racist , discrimanatories, the stigmas an casualties are too high, 1 is to many

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:05am

      Oh boy!!

  19. Jock S. Trap 16 Dec 2011, 11:02am

    I was one of the lucky ones. My parents have been very supportive. Best thing is to tell them as early as possible, well for me it was. That way you all learn together.

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