Is Etheridge still squabbling with Tammy Lynn Michaels over their divorce/not a divorce? I’m sure neither side is squeaky clean, but Etheridge was the one with the money and the power and behaving badly over a separation puts my hackles up (they were “married” when she wanted to feel all giddy and in love, now it is down to dollars, she says they were not. Legally, it was not marriage. Ethically, damn right it damned well was). I’ve seen her live, I’ve bought her CDs. I won’t do it anymore.
How could you not have asked her about her despicable behaviour towards Tammy Lynn Michaels.
They were together for 10 years, but were not allowed to marry because of Prop 8 in Califiornia (and Etheridge claimed repeatedly that she regarded herself as ‘married’.
Only then when they spli up she used the revolting tactic of claming to not be married, solely top reduce her child support and spousal support payments.
Melissa Etheridge is cold.
Very, very cold!
Cold or just human? We all have failings. Personally, I have issues with “spousal support” – what, the other person is unable to get a job? Giving people a fat pay off for marrying someone successful if they separate is wrong. Especially when Tammy Lynn is an actress, far from a low-paid job – I for one moment don’t buy her claims that she had $4 after the split. Melissa earned the money, it is hers, not her ex’s.
On the issue of child support, Melissa should damn well pay her way, of that I have no qualms. She helped bring those children into the world, whether she provided some of the ‘parts’ or not.
Further, it seems Tammy is far from innocent, using their children as pawns to try and get more money from Melissa. Neither side is pure as the driven snow in this – they never are in separation cases. Both sides have their personal stakes. On top of all this mess of human emotions, there is the quagmire that is the law in California, where they fall into a murky legal no man’s land…
Keep in mind that being an actress IS a low paid job if you can’t get roles. And Tammy Lynn/Melissa BOTH agreed that Tammy Lynn would step back from her career to raise the kids and now Tammy Lynn has found herself pushing 40, with little to show on her resume, no momentum, no exposure, in an over-subscribed profession. She gave it up for their kids, and she may never get it back again. All that aside does not change that fact that if they HAD married in California, the settlement would have been easy and ME said a number of times that she considered herself to be married. To renege on that when the chips are down is classless and mean.
Having issues with spousal support is 1 thing.
But to use the excuse ‘we weren’t married’ to wriggle out of paying it (when Tammy had put her own career on hold to look after the kids), when previously she had claimed to be married, is indeed cold.
Further, pinknews likely didn’t ask about the break-up either out of respect – these things are never easy to go through – or not wanting to seem like some tabloid gossip rag. Or maybe it was a condition of the interview. Who know’s.
At the end of the day, I look at the whole picture where people are concerned – Melissa has done a LOT of good throughout her career and personal life. The split with Tammy Lynn is the only real black mark and that is marred by a lot of media and tabloid speculation, along with ‘she said, she said’ bickering. The only two people who really know what happened there is Melissa and Tammy Lynn, we would all do best to simply leave them to it.
I was like you Valksy,,,had vcr tapes from all sorts of television performances of ME’s and it went back ages! I owned concert tshirts, ballcaps, cds etc..I never once downloaded her music as I really did want to support what i thought of as a sister at the time. She was one of us and i truly believed in her. through that love for her I started reading Tammy’s blog from its inception and I ended up loving her too. She was honest, out-spoken and truly loved loved loved Melissa. That was so obvious and it seemed like a match made in heaven. I rooted for them when Melissa had cancer and the blog entries about that are heart wrenching. I believe that Tammy gave up a viable career (she was awesome as Nicole Julian!! One of my all-time favourite tv characters) to help raise Melissa’s children from her first failed relationship to Julie Cypher. It takes quite a person to do that. Then Tammy gives birth to two blessed babies with Melissa and again I thought they were the absolute…
As a fan, you would know why I find it so troublesome. In every ME album you can track trends in her life – especially falling in and out of love. I don’t want the musical version of this relationship falling apart in my ears in a litany of “woe is me.” I’m done with her.
Amen to that. Me too. Man, never thought I’d be saying that ever. I just can’t understand all these chicks that still think she is the greatest lesbian ever born. She’s an utter disgrace to whats right and ethical. What’s wrong with people these days? I dont care if you are gay or straight, you pay up to your obligations. Especially someone who helped you stay alive!!
…most wonderful couple. The news of their split was something I never thought I’d read. And then hearing how Melissa is fighting over paying sufficent money to ensure her former wife and lover and their children are kept out of the poorhouse. It leaves me heartbroken for this once awesome family. If Melissa had been a male doctor and Tammy raised their kids would she be entitled to support? Absolutely. Melissa says Speak True yet she uses the laws to suit her purposes. Integrity is everything to me and this rock “star” seems to be void of that in a spectacular way. What a shame.
Ps,,the friend i gave all my Melissa merchandise to was pretty happy,,not everyone has a backbone I guess.
I like her music and her politics & sexuality are positives. As far as I know she is human with all the flaws that entails.
Beyond that I really don’t care about her private life and relationships.
If I only listened to musicians that were perfect in their private and political lives there wouldn’t be anyone to listen to.
Go see her perform, if you get the chance. She’s the real deal. If you don’t think so, google her Janis Joplin, Grammy performance. Bald from chemo and she rocks the place.
yeah she was bald from chemo with her wife Tammy by her side. Tammy helped keep her alive. Pay up Melissa. The piper is playing.
Melissa Etheridge has not commodified her personal life and deserves some privacy. @phoenix is right that we can’t know the details of her relationship breakdown.
But if Melissa Etheridge wants to advocate for marriage equality, she should expect to be judged as such. She spoke publicly about Tammy Lynn as her wife, but she has now tried to minimise her spousal support obligations by arguing in court that her marriage had no legal status. This suggests that she wanted the benefits of marriage but not the responsibilities – a claim often made by opponents of equality about same-sex couples – and discredits her as a marriage advocate.
Marriage is not for everyone. Some people don’t agree with financial support. That’s fine. Don’t get married.
But don’t decide you’re married when it suits you and not when it doesn’t – and especially not if you expect respect as an equality campaigner.