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Evan Rachel Wood: ‘No one explains bisexuality to children’

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  1. I can relate 100% – when I was 15 and began to realise that I’m attracted to men AND women I didn’t know what was going on. I mean, in school everyone mocked ‘the gays’ – so was I only half as bad because I liked both, or was I worse? Things like that.

    Then I went to college and people reacted very negatively when I revealed my bisexuality and so I hid away again, slipping into the closet of homosexuality. I spent over a decade of my life confused by my sexual orientation because of others reactions.

    It’s very pleasing to see out, open and honest bisexuals in the media so that young people today can see them and hear that, yes, it is perfectly normal. If her being so vocal about her sexuality helps out even one person, then it’s worth it.

    1. PumpkinPie 25 Oct 2011, 5:06pm

      It’s a shame that people like Evan then get their sexuality scrutinised and are accused of pretending to bi to further their career somehow. If it’s a female celeb, they’re “doing it to titillate male fans”. If it’s a male celeb, they’re “doing it to cover up their homosexuality”.

      Still, so long as young bisexuals can identify with them, it doesn’t matter what the haters think.

  2. PumpkinPie 25 Oct 2011, 4:59pm

    So true. I’ve always been accepting of LGBT people, yet it wasn’t until I was about 20 that I really realised that I was bi.

    At the time, one of my best friends was bi. I’d known her for about 2 years, so it wasn’t even a case of me not knowing what bisexuality was. In the same way that everyone is conditioned to assume that they are attracted to the opposite sex, everyone is also conditioned to assume that they’re monosexual (i.e. only attracted to one gender).

    That conditioning gets internalised. I remember having clear same-sex desires at least as early as my mid-teens. Yet, even after finding out what bisexuality was, for a long time I’d just totally hand-wave these feelings. I was just being “kinky”. I was just really “desperate”. That sort of thing. There was no self-loathing, no conscious denial, it just honestly did not occur to me that I was actually bi.

    What made it harder was the assumption that bisexuals were 50/50 and liked both genders the same way, to the same extent. Now, I do like both women and men equally (qualitatively), but not in equal amounts (quantitatively), if that makes any sense. Masculinity does nothing for me, so I stick to feminine and androgynous guys. That vastly decreases the amount of potential guys there is for me to be attracted to, so I could go for weeks or months without finding any guy who sparked my interest, which just increased my suspicion that I was just going through a “phase”.

    If it took someone like me that long, then I’d imagine bisexuals who are ignorant of LGBT issues probably wouldn’t stand a chance. They’d probably go through their whole lives thinking they’re straight.

    I don’t agree with Kinsey, I don’t think we’re all “bisexual to some degree”, but I do think that the real number of bisexuals out there is vastly higher than the amount who actually identify as bi. Maybe as many as there are people who are gay. Maybe even higher? I guess we’ll never know.

    1. I would say higher, from personal experience and a lot of heart felt anecdotes from people who are – for all intents and purposes to the outside world – straight.

    2. Ciaran McHale 25 Oct 2011, 8:03pm

      I have read a biography of Alfred Kinsey, seen the Hollywood movie about him and read some parts of his 1948 and 1953 reports on human sexual behaviour. I don’t recall him claiming or suggesting that everyone is bisexual to some degree. In fact, I have a vague recollection that the majority of the population were rated 0 on the Kinsey scale. If you counted everything between Kinsey 1 and 5 as being bisexual, then I *think* the figure was about 20% of the population (yes, that is higher than the percentage of Kinsey 6s, and, yes, my vague recollection of the figures might be inaccurate).

      A Google search for “bisexual to some degree” suggests that that claim was most famously made by Sigmund Freud, but the notion that Alfred Kinsey made or endorsed that claim seems to recur a lot without people providing supporting evidence.

      1. PumpkinPie 25 Oct 2011, 9:28pm

        If I remember correctly, he did regard sexuality as fluid, which meant he thought that everyone had the potential to be bisexual, even if they were functionally monosexual.

        You’re probably right, though. I’ve only got a rudimentary understanding of Kinsey’s studies, and I suppose I was really referring to supporters of the “everyone’s bi” belief, who like quoting Kinsey. I was just being a bit lazy.

    3. OMG, that sounds EXACTLY like me, except age that further to 24 *wince*. And because being attracted to more feminine qualities means there aren’t as many available men to be attracted to, every so often I once again question whether I might be gay, and then I see a guy I am attracted to and it’s like “no, definitely bi”

    4. journeywork 26 Oct 2011, 10:05pm

      At least in the US (the only demographic data I’ve seen), the number of bisexuals *is* higher than gays and lesbians. Among non-straight women, about 2/3 self-identify as bi and 1/3 as lesbian. Among non-straight men, it’s about 1/3 bi and 2/3 gay.

      More info:
      “Bisexual Invisibility” report, San Francisco Human Rights Commission

      Williams Institute

  3. How right she is and such a simple measure would help to prevent years and decades of neurosis, confusion and in some cases self hate and homophobia.
    In fact it is probably the most easily implementeable and potentially effective mental health measure available. Very cost effective.

  4. My wife and I openly talk about my bisexuality to both our kids (16 & 12). It has helped them to be open to us about his want to cross dress even though he is straight and our daughters bisexuality.

    1. When is the sitcom being produced?

    2. You, sir, are an awesome parent.

      1. Thank-you

  5. God said to love one another, John 13:34, one another, is man and man, woman and man and woman and woman. Simple, now if only they would practice what they preach. Being bisexual is simply loving one another, like God said to do.

    1. They say jesus and God is within all of us … So thry are atleast Bi ;) lol

      1. Yeah we could all do with a bit of Jesus in us, I’m talking about Madonn’a Brazilian stud ex boyfriend Jesus, not that dude who apparently died for our sins.

  6. I dnt like people questioning others sexuality. Sadly this happens to bi sexuals as so many people, mainly b list failing hollywood actors and actresses say thwy are Bi as a bit of publicity.

    Its what owning a hybrid was a few years ago to them. The downside is honest real Bi people suffer for it as people just dont believe they are :(

    I class myself as pansexual. You think explaining being Bi is tough. You try explaining this one to people.

    I just gave up and let them just think what they want these days

  7. I am so pleased that she has found her “voice” as young as she is now.

    I only recently found mine at the age of 67+!!!

    You go girl! Good luck to you and I hope life and people treat you well!

    I am what I am!!!!!

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