Poor Evan is having to do what most bisexuals have to do over and over again – defend themselves against accusations that bisexuality is just a phase, or that they’re “gay really” or “straight really” based on the gender of their current or most recent partner.
In a world increasingly tolerant (though not yet tolerant enough!) of gay and lesbian people, bisexuals still remain an object of fear and suspicion for heterosexuals and homosexuals alike. It’s time people realised that some people are bisexual, and got over it.
Well said, Dave. (and nice to see you after many a long year)
So, so true Dave – I get extremely tired of reminding people that I’m not gay or that I’m not “going through a phase”, that I am in fact bisexual.
I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about a bisexual. Are there any anti-bisexual laws? Can bisexuals not get married? Do bisexuals get beaten up? Or is it just when they are on their ‘gay side’ that all the bad happens?
The last paragraph of this lists bi people who have commited suicide, been beaten up in the street or otherwise abused or maltreated — it also asks the questions: are these numbers enough? is there some blood-let litmus test for who is abused enough to earn basic human respect and the right to assert their individual identity?
And this one has more info on bisexuals and suicide and poor mental and physical health outcomes — often due to the double rejection from both straight and gay communites and loved ones:
And bis are particularly singled out by religious people, be they straight or gay, who say that bis are the worst of all ‘creatures’ and never acceptable, etc: http://bit.ly/fuoHJt
But this is not be about who gets ‘beaten down’ the most but about basic self-determination.
^ That “we get it from both sides” argument is total bs, and hardly going to get you any sympathy when you act as if gay men and women (because they won’t date a bisexual or celebrate bisexuality – isn’t that bisexuals’ job?) that they are somehow comparable to heterosexual bigots who enact REAL discrimination towards bisexuals for their perceived homosexuality.
You’ve got a chip on your shoulder, CamAm. Because where did I or anyone here attack gays or lesbians and say you were comparable hetero bigots? Your dismissive comment above is a case in point for what some here have said: that bi people face double rejection from both straight and gay communities. Did I qualify or quantify the forms of rejection? Nope. But you jump in with quite a bit of hostility to ‘defend’ yourself against a perceived vigorous attack that just didn’t happen — it’s look in the mirror time. No one is attacking you, only stating facts. And your response, dismissive and agressive and knee-jerk as it is, shows the kind of rejection bis face. It also appears to show how uncomfortable a bi person makes you when they dare say very little more than “hey, some people are bi, get used to it.”
“Because where did I or anyone here attack gays or lesbians and say you were comparable hetero bigots?”
Oh I don’t know, right HERE?
And this one has more info on bisexuals and suicide and poor mental and physical health outcomes — often DUE to the double rejection from both straight AND gay communites and loved ones.
and right here:
And bis are particularly singled out by religious people, be they straight OR gay, who say that bis are the worst of all ‘creatures’ and never acceptable, etc
Why don’t you try reading what you write in the future?That very clearly sounds like a blame both sides game, which is pretty damn funny considering that nothing in the links provided backs that up. It pretty much only illustrates how a heterosexual majority that perceives bisexuality as homosexuality, is responsible for the persecution that bisexuals along with gays experience.
As to the rest of that diatribe…blah blah snore is all I have to say to that.
You are like someone who listens but does not hear. Saying that bisexuals face rejection from both gays and straight people is a simple fact. You prove it yourself. There is no place where I claim that gays are ‘as bad’ as straights or ‘worse’ or whatever else you wish to claim I have said. I don’t make any such claims. I only state a truism: there is misunderstanding and rejection from both ‘sides’. Why on earth stating that simple fact bothers you so much is, again, for you to figure out.
You are like someone who listens but does not hear.
Says the person who reads but does not comprehend.
Saying that bisexuals face rejection from both gays and straight people is a simple fact. You prove it yourself.
You got me. Challenging the conflation of “gay rejection” vs. “straight rejection” as if both are the same and equally contributing to the suicides of bisexuals just totally proves how deep my rejection runs.
I only state a truism: there is misunderstanding and rejection from both ‘sides’.
Problem is, that’s a lie. All you’ve done is use misuse statistics to rationalize your “both sides” are causing bisexual suicides argument.
Now this is going to be my final comment because you are clearly someone who merely likes to debating for the sake of debating, not getting to the truth. I don’t have time for that.
You appear to have a deep desire to appear agrieved by me, CamAm. Strange.
You say: “Problem is, that’s a lie. ”
All I have said (what you consider ‘a lie’): Bisexual people face rejection and misunderstanding from straight people. Bisexual people face rejection and misunderstanding from gay people. Not every single straight or gay person; but I never claimed that.
Your insistance that my merely stating that fact is somehow an indictment of gay people and “a lie” is bizarre.
The health outcomes and sucide statistics in the blog posts I link to can be read and assessed on their own merits. If the links I gave above are not suited to your taste, here’s a link to a study out of San Francisco about bi people, stresses and health outcomes:
I’ve never heard anyone say anything bad about a bisexual
Read some of the comments right here, including yours, which tries to hand-wave our discrimination.
Are there any anti-bisexual laws?
Any anti-gay law is *also* anti-bisexual. Are you honestly trying to say that we can just consciously choose who we fall in love with?
Can bisexuals not get married?
Not if they fall in love with someone of the same sex.
Do bisexuals get beaten up?
Of course they bloody well do. If some bigoted thug finds out someone is attracted to members of the same sex, do you honestly think they’ll dramatically stop their fist mid-flight and say “oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realise you were bi, that’s completely alright!” Seriously? Are you for real?
Or is it just when they are on their ‘gay side’ that all the bad happens?
I don’t have a gay side or a straight side. Is it really homophobia when camp gay men get beaten up, or is that just people hating camp men? That’s a rhetorical question. Look at the way people justify homophobia and try to pass it off as something else, then look at the way you’re implying us bisexuals only get discriminated against because people think we’re gay.
Get real. If a bisexual is assaulted, it is PRECISELY because they are seen as a homo or dyke, not because they like BOTH. This is a fact thar many like to deny and I have a good suspicion why that is. Is is heterophobia if a “gay seeming” straight person is bashed? Yes, bisexuals face unique struggles that are specifically due to bisexuality, but that has more to do with the so-called glbt community ignoring the fact that while the individual parts of lgbt have political ties, on an interpersonal level, each groups requires its own space in order to avoid imposing on the other. All too often the b & t are trying to make others accommodate them rather than forming their own subculture and social outlets.
Get real. If a bisexual is assaulted, it is PRECISELY because they are seen as a homo or dyke, not because they like BOTH.
Yes. Me being attracted to the same sex is part of what makes me bisexual. So if anyone has a problem with that, they have a problem with me, not just gay people. How nice of you to try to claim everyone else’s oppression for yourself.
This is one of the things that really winds me up in today’s society… this need to constantly question bisexuals and ask them if it’s a phase, just because they aren’t currently in a relationship with someone of the same sex.
I have GAY friends who think that bisexuality is a myth, or that bisexuals are “just greedy”. There is biphobia in the straight and gay communities, which is shocking really.
The trouble with bisexuality is that the discrimination can come from both sides. Personally, I identify as anywhere between 80-95% gay, and am in a civil partnership with a woman, so I don’t encounter this problem personally. Though I do get weird reactions when I say I fancy Gary Barlow… and no, not because he’s Gary Barlow (he’s hot these days, okay?!!) but because he’s a man!
I think what Anna Paquin (I think?) said about it being a bit harder for bisexuals than for gay people is probably true in a lot of situations.
Well seeing as many gay people come out as bi in the beginning as they think it is easier to do that, and seeing as many straight girls pretend to be bi solely to attract straight men to them (especially in clubs) there is a reason why people question the validity of bisexuality.
It’s not fair and it’s stupid but it’s reality
And this interview is with GQ – a men’s mag with a history of sexualising women.
Evan Rachel Wood is bisexual . Good for her. I wonder why she feels the need to announce it while sprawled about in her underwear in a men’s top-shelf style magazine.
I have no reason to doubt her when she says she is bi.
But I would question her (and so many others like her) of feeling the need to announce it as a means of titillation.
Absolutely David re her motivations for revealing her sexuality to GQ Why did she not give an interview to a gay magazine? My only concern is her addressing her sexuality in the past tense “I’ve been THAT way since I can remember”, not “I’ve been THIS way”. Still, when were starlets ever renowned for their intelligence.
You don’t even know her and you’re calling her stupid? She seems quite intelligent based on the quotes on pink news. Jealousy is indeed a cruel mistress, is it not?
Ah, How sweet you’re defending her. Do you want her autograph? Who is she anyway?
You’re so right CMYB.
I see this accusation a lot, but it really doesn’t make sense. Of course they come out as bi in magazines like GQ! Who the hell else is going to question women about their sexuality like this? Do you suggest that all famous bisexuals register as bisexual on some sort of database so they don’t have to come out in GQ? How famous do they have to be before they do this?
And to touch on CMYB’s comment, as far as I’m aware, actors don’t go around seeking interviews with magazines to make statements about their personal lives. If GQ asked the question before a gay mag got to, she’s not exactly going to lie about it.
Yeah, her and every other actor…male or female…on the planet. ALL ACTORS are either gay or bi-sexual. I know. I am one. I have never known another actor who hasn’t at least once tried it with a member or his or her own sex.
Really? Are you a well known actor? Or do you just know z list actors?
What is wrong with you people? As a gay man I can see how hard it is for anyone to come out regardless of whether they’re gay, bisexual, transgendered or red with blue stripes.
Firstly, her reasons for giving an interview to the magazine in question is HER CHOICE. It has nothing to do with anyone else.
Secondly, as a gay man I see it all the time. bisexual men and women are treated differently. There are many times I’ve seen it treated as a joke.
This is a very real sexuality for many men and women and who are we as gay men and women to pass judgement on someone regarding sexuality – after all, it’s been done to us enough.
Exactly – her decision to discuss her bisexuality in her knickers to a men’s top-shelf type magazine is entirely her own business.
I don’t think this is relevant – why should the forum in which she chooses to discuss this effect what she is saying?
I suppose you think that she should be discussing these issues in a more respected publication, but it is only through discussion in more “low-brow” arenas that these topics become no longer taboo and those who suffer from similar experiences can discuss them even if they aren’t celebrities.
I wish I was bisexual, it must be so much more fun to fancy both sexes.
Oh but they are soooooooo oppressed.
Unfortunately, invisibility and biphobia have serious effects on bisexuals’ lives, from major health disparities to the highest rates of suicidality of any sexual orientation (including among youth). Snarky comments don’t help.
There’s lots of documentation about these things in the “Bisexual Invisibility” report that came out of the San Francisco Human Rights Commission earlier this year: