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New York boy, 14, kills himself after anti-gay bullying

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  1. For Shame America!
    ‘Land of the free’ my ass – You are as backward & as Ignorant as the Muslim States you despise so…

    And liberal Yanks are as much to blame for allowing this hatred to be so widespread and so tolerated

    1. Miguel Sanchez 21 Sep 2011, 3:41pm

      John, don’t balme the enitre country for this. Your comment is like saying the Catholic Church is behind every case of child molestation.

      His counselor and Social Worker dropped the ball.

      1. No…his school, peers and family dropped the ball. All in varying ways and all with a very sad and tragic result.

        You know what. I was out at school when I was fourteen and if someone had even looked at me in the wrong way because of my sexuality my mother, my father and my family would have been on the school’s arse AND the parent of this child.

        1. And I’m sorry – if you’re any type of decent parent you do ALL in your power to stop your child getting hurt in anyway.

          I’m not saying that his parent’s didn’t do anything – but clearly they didn’t do enough.

          1. @Menderin

            Clearly they did a lot (from their comments elsewhere). Clearly, it wasnt enough. Would anything have been enough? Some people (unfortunately) can not be helped when they are depressed to such an extent.

            I dont think we can blame his parents.

            We can condemn his bullies.

          2. I don’t fully agree.

            As I said before there are always options – this is New York. It’s not some backward town in the middle of Hicksville.

            There are other schools in the district, there’s home schooling, private tutors, anti-bullying organisations. etc etc

            I understand that his parents did the best they knew how to do but as I said previously…if you are a parent that knows your son is being bullied then you need to take action..sometimes even drastic action. Firstly, you do not keep your son in the same school with those who are creating the problem.

            If it were my kid who was being bullied for any reason I would deal with the problem as directly and quickly as possible. If it’s not resolved by the school or the parents then I take my kid out of school until another alternative can be found. No questions – no argument.

          3. @Menderin

            I hear your argument, but if I was a parent I would want to not take a dramatic response unless the risk that I could assess justified it. Otherwise, a gradual approach would be something I would consider, starting to respond at a low level and escalating as and when necessary with regular consideration of whether the risk had changed. I would not want to distress my child any further unnecessarily by making changes they felt were unacceptable to them. Its a hard balance to reach, particularly as some children try to be strong and are evasive of the full facts especially to parents (they may have other reasons for being evasive too). Parents have to make measured decisions and can only do that on the basis of what they know and/or have good grounds to suspect.

      2. @Miguel

        I entirely agree that we can’t blame the entire population of the US for this

        I would caution restraint before condemning the counsellor and social worker (I know I havent always told my counsellor (when I had one) everything that was concerning me). They may be remiss in their actions, but equally it is difficult to say this with any certainty without knowing the full details of what they were aware of and their risk assessment and management plan – it may have been appropriate to what was known.

    2. It is the land of the free, JohnD – the land where people are free to send bullying hate messages with impunity to vulnerable young teenagers.

      1. I got bullied at school a lot..but i never contemplated this- but i also never dreamed of telling my parents, it would have got ten times worse after. I hate to think how low he must have been to kill himself, and he seems so hopeful in the video. Makes me REALLY angry.

  2. I am sure that the bullying in his immediate environment was only a part of it. His family seems reasonably supportive, but he was growing up at a time where homophobia is not only approved of, but is actively a desirable quality for people in their religion, their politics and their social policy. It isn’t easy to believe that “it gets better” when you know that society at large considers you to be lesser, unwanted, damaged person who is not allowed to have the things that many take for granted. Yes, he would eventually have grown out of school. But what did his future hold? I am adamant that those who shout homophobia from the pulpit, from the media, from the political soapbox have just as much blood on their hands as the people in his proximity who indulged in direct acts of cruelty.

  3. RIP Jamey

    Poor kid

    He was too young to do that it gets better rubbish. It’s empty and pointless as it does not get better for everyone and may lead to dissapointment, depression and suicide.

    These campaings have to be realistic and not just a bit of “cool” PR.

    His enemies saw his soft spot and didn’t let up

    1. Phillip Levett 21 Sep 2011, 3:45pm

      The scariest point if that your right James, it never lets up, look at the attacks that been happening. You can always say to the next generation that it will get better with time, but it never does, the wounds of yesteryears still burn and scar into the mind.

      This boy death is everyone fault, we should just blame base american society for this because, where was the gay communality in all this giving this kid advice and encouragement, we are all to blame for this boy death, in some way.

      1. I feel awful blaming the campaing maybe it was misguided but it’s peoples lives we are talking about.

        The kids need to be in a place where they can handle the relentless aggro before they come out and you should only come out at school if you can handle it. It may be tough and relentless prepare for the worst and expect the best

        As long as the bible is around we will have a fight on our hands.

        1. Not sure the bible is at fault. Its what people believe about the bible that is the problem, in my very humble opinion :)

          1. Either way bible is in the equation

    2. I agree.

      There doesn’t seem to be a real or tangible point to the campaign. I know it’s meant to show support but clearly it’s not working.

      What is needed is tough action, protection from law and educated peers, teachers and family.

      Sadly, the majority of the US has none.

      1. They could start by taking religion out of politics

        1. Whilst I don’t know that religion and politics were relevant in this particular case, the separation of both would have helped in some cases if not this one …

  4. How many more gay teens are going to commit suicide before schools, governments etc take this issue seriously? RIP young man, I’m so sorry that you saw this as your only way to stop the abuse.

    1. David Myers 21 Sep 2011, 10:09pm

      Lawsuits against school boards who fail to protect their students – all of them is the only recourse. It really gets their attention!

  5. Cambodia Guesthouse 21 Sep 2011, 1:57pm

    Esy to knock and easy to criticize from afar. The ‘It gets better’ campaign is a good thing to let troubled teenagers that they are not alone and they are not the ‘only one’ (something I very much felt as a young teen).

    Clearly this lads video was probably more to try and convince HIMSELF that it would get better, when obviously it didn’t.

    Sorry but it made me cry watching this poor lads video and hearing his story. Such a terrible and tragic waste of a young life.

    Politicians (like that crazy tea-party American bitch) who’s running for President, should look at this and see what they are helping to achieve. They are stoking the fire of hate. This bitch has blood on her hands and MUST NEVER become President of a hockey club, let alone one of biggest world superpowers!

    The school should have been more supportive of this lad.. It should come down HARD on anti-gay bullying and bullying of ANY form. They also have blood on their hands today.

    1. The point is they are alone. No one will bethere when the are mercilessely attack after pouring their heart out on youtube. kids These millionares should put their money up to open safe spaces for young LGBT

  6. Cambodia Guesthouse 21 Sep 2011, 1:59pm

    RIP Jamey.

  7. What an appalling tragedy. The school jungles on both sides of the Atlantic need serious tackling.

    1. However, at least in this country there are organisations that are trying. You’ve got Diversity Role models and Stonewall as two main charities undertaking valuable and credible work with schools.

      Sadly, it’s not enough. Our educators needs educting and our parents need to listen.

  8. Eddy - from 2007 21 Sep 2011, 2:08pm

    That video is gut-wrenching. As someone who has taught students for years, I can see that it clearly shows someone who doesn’t so much KNOW “it gets better” but who desperately WANTS TO BELIEVE “it WILL get better”. In other words, this is a video of a young lad who was just managing to hold on by his finger-tips.

    Teachers, counsellors, parents, friends all need to pay much much more attention to young gay boys and young gay girls. We don’t KNOW how it FEELS in there unless we go “inside”, be with them and find out.

    1. Absolutely agree with this comment. The poor lad was obviously wanting to get out there and support the whole “it gets better” thing and believe in it, but ultimately and very sadly it made him a target. Absolutely devastating. :-(

      1. I think the campaign should be stopped and some real changes put in place like a safe space, free counselling and mentoring

        1. I agree with the desire for a more practical remedy. LGBT mentors who develop a friendship and relationship with the younger kids to help them and assist them in all they want.

          This campaign is trying though – it may be a little directionless but it will slowly get there.

        2. Cerainly there needs to be something put in place that is more effective. I wouldn’t advocate removing the current campaign until some other process has been developed and is in place.

  9. Jock S. Trap 21 Sep 2011, 2:10pm

    So sad that yet another dies at the hands of bullies taunting. When will the public of America take note when will the evil likes of Michele Bachmann see how nasty and evil they are to encourage and contribute to these innocent young souls. They should take pity and bow their heads in absolute shame for the total lack of resepct esp in someone so young.
    -
    Unless attitude change towards other human being from the ‘religious choices’ we will not see any improvement because while they remain they carry on justifying.

    1. It’s not just bauchman with her glitter queen husband it’s the false hope too. When will and grace came out everyone thought that anti gay attitudes were a thing of the past with the first gay sitcom. And now it gets better is another false dawn. The fundamentals of socity have to change before we can allow kids to broadcast their feeligs in a hostile society. We should be showing them how to deal with these bastards

      1. Absolutely. The likes of Bachmann and Kern and the other right-wing nutjobs who promote their intolerance at the expense of others need to be taught a very harsh lesson.

        I personally hope Michelle Bachmann gets hit by a truck.

    2. Joseph Ratzinger 22 Sep 2011, 2:49pm

      As we have seen from trolls on this site and others, the religious right are pursuing a psychological war against gay people and their supporters. People like this poor boy and the series of suicides last year are the inevitable casualties of their bullying online and in the media.

  10. How many more beautiful young people must die before we realise sexuality douser matter. :(

  11. man this really cut me up :’( that is terrible.

  12. Spanner1960 21 Sep 2011, 2:36pm

    What a terribly sad story and a damning indictment of America and it’s apparent “Free Nation” ethos.

    The next time some prattling Evangelist idiot comes on here, they should be force fed this material and then they can decide who is judging who, and by imposing their holier-than-thou values on others is actually killing children.

    (And yes Keith, I mean you.)

  13. I can’t believe this has happened again, especially after everything he did to raise awareness. So terribly sad. :( Children can be so, so cruel and I am sure those involved will now live with the guilt for the rest of their lives.

    RIP Jamey.

    1. Thigs that affected us as kids we shrug off now. He may still be here is that campaign didn’t start

      1. How is it the campaigns fault it is there to give kids hope which is something they desperately need. Yes its still difficult for us but it has definitely got better since I left school I now feel like I am a member of a community that respects me for being myself. Thats better than being the only gay kid in the school, and knowing that there are so many of us out there makes life a lot more hopeful.

        RIP James its a shame we never got to meet you.

    2. David Myers 21 Sep 2011, 10:17pm

      I hope they live with the guilt for the rest of their lives, but some have no compassion or guilt. As for those condemning the “It Gets Better” campaign, the campaign does not tell kids it gets better while they are in school – it tells them if they can hold on until they are out of school it gets better. Those saying the campaign is damaging are either trolls who fear the benificial effects of the campaign or short-sighted idiots. And yes, in some schools it is getting better. Sue the school boards when they ignore their duty to protect all children from any bullying. It really gets their attention. Educate educators on how to address bullying when they see it, hear it, or suspect it. And teach children that everyone can be a part of the solution by reporting bullys and standing up for the bullied.

  14. America has to have everything bigger and better than anyone else.Their mouths get bigger is that better?
    R I P Jamey
    One day these homophobes will have to face their maker..God help them!

  15. Weeping. Poor sweet guy.

  16. Pour kid, nobody deserves what they put him through. It’s things like this that make you hate the world sometimes.

    R.I.P. Jamey

  17. Libera Fan 21 Sep 2011, 3:29pm

    So, so sad. Everyone has already said it all. I hope Bachmann, Perry, Sanotorum, Robertson and all the other nei-fascists rot in hell for promoting this sort of hatred.

  18. I feel speechless, completely speechless…
    May Jamey rest peacefully and his family find the strength to recover from this terrible ordeal. My deepest condolences to this family.

    As for the critters who did this to him and the community that failed to step in; may you rue the day, your pathetic fears have resulted in the death of yet another youngster who could’ve made this world a better place.

  19. Miguel Sanchez 21 Sep 2011, 3:44pm

    Another young life snuffed out long before his time.

    Rest in Peace Jamey.

  20. Is this world insane, Yes , it is , and dangerous, Look here Log cabin gay people, what kind of question is whats next to do, There of trillions of injustices going on everywhere of unfairness and discsrimination, and abuses, just get the lead out of your asses and pick a case and resolve it and go on to the next and the next, civil rights and equal rights must be fought for every single day, you have fifty states and smaller town, and all foreingn countries that need civilizing to humanity, only a few has partially arrived, programs must be put in place and other serious actions, taken everywhere from schools to military to busininess to religions because of bigotry, this you man commited suicide at 14 teen because of bullying and harrasment and you ask what the hell is next to do, get off of your asses after each case won, and see the needs of trillions more, be gay teenagers mentors with your money as well open teen centers for them , shelters like the al forney center in new york

  21. Bryan J Allen 21 Sep 2011, 4:28pm

    What a sad tragic waste of a young life-yet again!

    RIP Jamey and my thoughts go to your family and friends

    Emotions went into overdrive,after watching jamey’s video clip to post anything now but will try to do so later on.

    One thing that no one can escape from is that a human life has been lost,through others failure!

  22. RESPECT x

  23. Poor beautiful child. He had his whole life ahead of him.

  24. I am sorry but this is exactly what the nutters in American politics so adamantly against homosexuality are creating, suicidal teenagers who feel there is nothing out there for them but a very tough life being an out gay person. So tough they can not face it and kill themselves. How the hell do they sleep at night being so hateful as to encourage a little boy to kill himself?

    RIP Jamey.

    I think about my self at 14 and how I felt, I am really lucky to live in Britain when I was 14 (2002) when homophobia , although fife was not like it is in America in 2011, especially with some of the extreme Republicans, they ought to be ashamed of themselves but sadly I doubt they will be.

    We owe it to LGBT kids to keep fighting for an equal society where gay and straight can live with each other without sexuality ever being the defining issue, the UK, the ‘land of the free’ and every other country in the world.

  25. I lost a close gay friend to suicide when he was barely 18. Religion played a significant role in his desperate decision. In the early 90′s I was part of a commission appointed by the Governor of Massachusetts in the USA to deal with the problem. We did a lot of hard work and sat through some gut wrenching testimony. We issued 3 separate reports and saw a law enacted to outlaw discrimination against gay students in school. Despite all of that the sad fact is that suicide still takes place. Until we can change the climate in each school so that its the bullies that are despised rather the LGBT students we will continue to have a problem. This is a fight that needs to occur in every school. When all teachers and faculty take the issue seriously and reprimand every instance of homophobic slurs we will have begun to address the problem. Having LGBT role models is also part of the solution. I am just sick & tired of excuses and homophobic politicians & preachers with blood on their hands.

  26. Utterly Disgraceful!

    Shame on the parents for knowing about it and not changing things.

  27. Americans don’t believe that hate speech should be curtailed and they don’t care that people die as a result even if words hurt and drive people to commit suicide. Yet, in its f__cked up society, you’re prosecuted if you shout “fire” in a theatre. I’m glad we don’t have that nonsense in the UK.

  28. Heart breaking. Truly heart breaking.

  29. For every LGBT person who dies the Christians and Muslims Religions need to be held responsible because they are the main ones who spew hate and propaganda to kill and murder LGBT people. Everybody knows this but we need to enforce this as a law that for ever gay person who kills them self or is harmed in a gay hate crime the religion that the people are of that did or said something to cause the gay persons death need to be accountable to the legal system were charges can be brought to up on them. Just like if a person gets drunk in a bar the owner can be held responsible if a customer was given too much to drink kills other people or himself, like in a car accident.

  30. I think it says a lot that since i tweeted last night about Jamey it has trended pretty much everywhere…except the US. Sad indictment.

    1. Dr Robin Guthrie 22 Sep 2011, 11:49am

      The US right wing xian nutters will blame him for having the temerity to be born gay.

  31. RIP Jamey

  32. There needs to be somewhere that kids can go to get help and support. In this day and age maybe an online gay support group would be a great idea. I would have loved to have been able to get that support as a kid.

  33. Jamie Borris 22 Sep 2011, 10:30am

    So devastating. R.I.P. x

  34. Jan Bridget 22 Sep 2011, 11:14am

    If you think that things are much better in the UK then you are mistaken. It is my firm belief, having worked with LGBT young people for many years, that the situation is similar in the UK but here IT IS HIDDEN.
    We do not have the Trevor Project; we only have a handful of Gay Straight Alliances in schools. Have a look at: http://www.galyic.org.uk/support/mental.html

    1. Galyic is one example of a similar project to the Trevor Project, the only difference is unluckily this can only properly help one area.

  35. Alison Newton 22 Sep 2011, 1:28pm

    Oh dear, not nice at all. But hang on a minute. All child protection professionals tell us that children under 16/18/21/65 (delete as appropriate to your local age of consent) have no sexual interests or desires. And they must be right. So either:

    - Jamey was much older than he claimed to be
    - he was lying about his sexuality, or…
    - some children like sex!

    1. Joseph Ratzinger 22 Sep 2011, 3:01pm

      It’s about love. At that age we get huge crushes on a class mate. Then we realise we’re gay.

    2. It’s not all about the actual age you have sex your sexuality its about the feelings you have for other people, they may still not be interested in the sexual side of things (although I very much was interested in that side at the age of 14)

  36. Why is America? Why are your youths like this? I came out at school, I was respected for my bravery (here in the UK). But the US NEED to stop this! It needs to end now!

  37. RIP Little Fella.
    This made me cry.

  38. I simply don’t know what to say. I feel this cancels out all the progress we’ve made over the years as a community when a young person is victimised to the point of suicide.

    I don’t think we can rely on American politicians to do anything constructive and decisive about this, as they simply don’t care. This situations mirrors their attitude to the on-going albeit infrequent school gun shootings – it will keep on happening because no action is taken to combat the issue.

    What can WE do as a community to stop this happening?

  39. Hello World 23 Sep 2011, 1:55am

    What can you say. This should never have happened. It’s madness, unexplainable madness.

  40. R.I.P Jamey These kids that taunted and teased this poor young man should be accountable for what they have done to Him,this just makes me sick,bi, gay, straight doesn’t matter we all have feelings and hearts stop being such fricken asswhole’s

  41. I cried so much……RIP Beautiful soul

  42. For the kids Mom and dad that allow there kids bullIes that young man i feel really bad for u……if that was one of my kids doing that bullie to anyone i would beed ashame of my kid…..omg what this world comeing too……why not punish the kids that is doing all this…..i feel really sad in side rite now cause i seen people get push around…so sad so so sad ;(

  43. RIP JAMEY, I FEEL THAT IT SHOULD BE AGAINST THE LAW TO PUSH PEOPLE AROUND NO MATTER WHAT IT IS FOR ALL THE BILLY BAD A___ BULLIES THE LAW NEEDS TO GET MORE HARDER ON BULLIES AND LET IT BE ONE STRIKE FOR THEM AND PARENTS, AFTER THAT NO MORE STRIKES, PLACE THEM IN JUVENILE OR BULLY BOOT CAMP AND THEY STAY THEIR TIL 18YRS OLD AND FINISHED SCHOOL AND THEY PARENT ARE NOT ALLOW TO GET THEM OUT NO MATTER WHAT

  44. Oh I can’t even watch the video and it nearly made me cry. Hopefully the others who may be feeling the same as Jamey are able to get help from people who support them. I don’t know how anyone can call him ‘ugly’ and encourage him to kill himself.

    RIP Jamey

  45. Poor kid. :( It’s terrible that happened. He looks like my little brother, who also gets tormented at school. I hate crap like this. I was horrifically tormented at school & no one cared. My brother is receiving the same treatment. I’m not in a position to do anything about it & those who are, don’t care.

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