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Another lesbian blogger exposed as a man

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  1. This prompts the thought that maybe others should initiate a shufti and make sure their own house is in order….

    Two disclosures like this in such a short time is casting a pall of doubt over the integrity of very many. Much damage is being done.

    Such a rate is NOT a coincidence.

    1. one is odd, two may be a coincidence but raises concern … three or more and I would be worried

      1. Another Hannah 14 Jun 2011, 12:24pm

        It says he’s an editor as well, which presumably means he’s really involved, so what happened to checks and familiarity?

  2. So whose image was “Paula Brook”‘s stolen from? I presume her deafness and children are total fictions too

  3. Paddyswurds 14 Jun 2011, 11:30am

    Strange that they are both Americans. I smell a rat!

    1. This is touching upon another sector where one has perhaps to be more selective, more careful, these days : that of the pernicious “conspiracy theory”.
      But don’t get me wrong – I suspect you’ve hit the nail dead on !!

    2. Another Hannah 14 Jun 2011, 12:22pm

      I’m not sure what is going on, but I am sure that something is going on. Some important information is missing from both of these. And both are hetrosexual, so why are both so interested and concerned? I’ve seen reasons given in the article, but I don’t reallt believe that. There needs to be a serious effort to see if there are any more, and then soem delving to see exactly what connections and commonality can be found.

      1. I must admit that it looks odd and is a very bizarre way of going about things, but I don’t think that it is unfeasible that a straight man could be concerned about LGBTQ equality.

        I do think if that were genuinely the case, this is the oddest way of going about it.

  4. Many years ago, back when we all used dial-up and home internet use was less common I remember being part of a number of lesbian communities online. And in many cases, the only way to get in was to have a known member of the group recommend you.

    This was not “man hating”, this was GLBTQ women expressing a wish to socialise and spend time with other GLBTQ women. People were never trusted or taken on face value. The fascination that some straight men have for lesbians is not new (and usually not reciprocated!)

    These revelations hurt my community by bringing back those days of doubt and uncertainty. It raises the questions of: Will online lesbians be needed to prove their authenticity? Why do some straight men push themselves in to these social circles – the lengths taken to conceal his identity show that he knows that questions would be raised on the legitimacy (or point) of a straight man trying to blog about lesbianism.

    But mostly I hate the harm done to trust.

    1. It creates an atmosphere which some of us trans women find intimidating as well. I remember the first time I signed up for an online lesbian group and worrying whether I was welcome because at the time I was pre-op (though on HRT) and trans . They had a big thing about checking up on people they suspected of not being genuine women (I didn’t know if I satisfied there definition for that and I woried that I wouldn’t be able to prove it well enough).

      1. I am genuinely sorry that you have felt intimidated this way.

        And I suppose this is why the manipulation here and in the case of the gay girl in Damascus are so hurtful to the lesbian community. It should not be necessary to vouch for ourselves, no one should ever need us to prove who we are.

  5. Leave him alone, he clearly self-identifies as a lesbian according to gender-queer studies…isn’t that right Lola?

    1. LMAO- don’t get her started.

    2. i was just thinking that, does he identify as a “genderqueer” ?lol

  6. Hey if he didn’t have the internet he’d find some other outlet to live out his Walter Mitty fantasies.

  7. But are there any checks on who the bloggers are, anybody can go on the interent as anyone and post whatever, why the surprise? After all most of the comments on forums, comment pages, tweets etc can be from anyone, if someone posts on her as Lucy , then we assume it’s a lesbian. There are hardly any checks on the internet on postings yet journalists, commentators etc spew out articles based on tweets, blogs , comments etc…what a really worrying trend if opinions, research, comments are now to be based on faceless comments and blogs…….

  8. “He began the lesbian website because he was hurt by attacks on his lesbian friends but did not believe he would be taken seriously as a straight male” Believe that, and you’ll believe anything. He says he used his wife’s identity – so does he have three children, two of them possibly twins, and is his wife deaf? What really was his motive? Is he for real, or a stooge for another organisation (possibly based in Langley, Virginia, if you are paranoid)

    1. Dan Filson 14 Jun 2011, 1:00pm

      So where are all the lesbian friends rallying around their benefactor in his time of need?

  9. What’s the next hoax going to be, Jock S Trap or Stu are actually Jessica Green? Are we really going to check up on all the bloggers, commentator , check their identity and write an article when they’re found out not to be who they are…….it’s the internet for heavens sake!

  10. America seems to have an endless supply of nutters. I wonder why? Why would any straight male want to pose as a lesbian anyway? What’s that about? Odd that neither pretended to be a gay male? Straight males don’t have gay male friends I presume? Bizarre!

    1. They do it to ingratiate themselves. To facilitate access to a world that they consider taboo. To encourage women who would not otherwise dream of sharing private thoughts with a straight man to let them in (gay women, all women, chat about sex a lot. But my life is not for the titillation of a straight man and there are a lot of things that I would not tell one who asked).

      I am sure that there are a few who think that lesbians will become sexually available if they can create rapport.

      It is an act of manipulation that is, frankly, despicable.

  11. Renee Olson 14 Jun 2011, 1:34pm

    Lesbians do not need straight men pretending to be lesbians to support them. The entire LGBTQ Community needs STRAIGHT people to support them.

  12. Are there any real lesbians out there? Where will it all end…?
    I’m starting to wonder if I’m in fact a straight middle aged woman called Brenda!
    Do some straight men imagine that being a lesbian is a bit like “World of Warcraft” or “Sims”?

    1. Dan Filson 15 Jun 2011, 2:39am

      Are there any real lesbians out there? Queen Victoria did not think so. This is why the 1885 Act that made gay sex illegal in the UK and lasted until 1967 made no reference to what lesbians do (whatever that is, my mother never taught me, not that I want to know really).

  13. Jock S. Trap 14 Jun 2011, 2:33pm

    I just don’t get these people.

    1. Dan Filson 15 Jun 2011, 2:44am

      It’s a very long-running joke if it is a joke. I wonder whether it is not a devious plan to bolster support for the existing regime in Syria. by a ‘lesbian’ finding the regime not so awful as the alternatives.

  14. PumpkinPie 14 Jun 2011, 2:37pm

    Alright, I’ve been wrestling with this for a while now, but seeing all these lesbians coming out as straight men has given me the courage to admit this.
    I’m actually an 8-year-old straight girl from Samoa. I began posting here because I was hurt by attacks that had been perpetrated on my many twenty-something bisexual male friends from England. I hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me.

    1. PumpkinPie 14 Jun 2011, 2:37pm

      Seriously, though, I can understand the charges of “sociological voyeurism”. The only reason to pretend to be part of a demographic you’re not is to enable yourself to infiltrate it, which raises all sorts of questions. Even if people like this had legitimately good intentions, they would do far more good by posting as themselves. Apart from LGBT issues, I also like a bit o’ the ol’ feminism (yeah, yeah, here come the insults), and I’ve seen plenty of feminist bloggers who are openly male. By being themselves, they help to smash down barriers, show they’re not ashamed of supporting women, show that sympathetic men are actually embraced by the feminist community. All these things do infinitely more good than just dishonestly trying to be part of the “in-crowd”, which is fairly self-centred.

  15. LessieLover 14 Jun 2011, 3:51pm

    So what?
    People, get a life, why is it such a big deal to you?

    1. Because honesty and authenticity are traits to be prized in people.

      1. Dan Filson 15 Jun 2011, 2:46am

        And because this unthinking – if so it was – behaviour of producing an LGBT blog in an area as sensitive as the Middle East could have put lives at risk of those who ‘followed’ the blog

  16. ooer missus 14 Jun 2011, 4:04pm

    Shouldn’t the gender of a poster or blogger be irrelevant most of the time? If we know someone’s gender do we unconsciously make assumptions about them and where they are coming from rather than listen to the point they are making?

    1. As unpopular as it may be among some people – I really like spending time with other lesbians, talking to other lesbians, sharing stories with other lesbians. I honestly could not give a damn about what some straight man thinks about lesbians – I don’t want to talk to him, spend time with him or share stories with him. And the fact that the straight man in question concealed his identity suggests to me that he is well aware that other women think like I do.

      Put it this way – How well would gay guys receive a hetero (married) woman decided that she knew enough about you, your lives, your experiences to try and speak with authority on the subject of being a gay man? I very much suspect that many/most would tell her to foxtrot oscar.

      1. Lmao – they’re called “faghags” and they’re more difficult to get rid of than crabs ;-)

  17. Why not use the whois lookup function when not sure who’s behind a site? Try out this URL: At a first guess, what do you expect to find? Set apart you are from here … I bet you will be suprised!

  18. martyn notman 14 Jun 2011, 6:25pm

    my secrets out, im actually a five year old pony called Dobbin typing this with my hooves, i only wanted to show my support for the LGB world, and feared the large quantities of dung and constant tail swishing might put people off…

  19. There appears to be a whole gap in the market for sites dedicated to guys who wish they were lesbians to talk to other guys who wish they were lesbian about their vacarious lesbianism.
    Who knew?

  20. it’s so obvious, lesbians can’t write, if a blogger claims “she” is a lesbian… then it’s a man.

    lesbians get drunk, stoned and fight like real… men… lol

  21. Male or female; gay male, lesbian or transgender; androgynous, straight, bi or gay. We should in no way be condemning this man.

    This man is on our side… if anybody takes a blog without checking the validity as real then they deserve to have their eye wiped…

    The written word is not always true.

    The fact he has written this blog as an act to defend his friends is commendable… a positive action; an action that we should all appreciate; an action fighting for OUR rights to live as we want.

    Before the protestations begin that he has been telling lies; I should clarify that i am still telling lies; I do not tell everyone I meet that I am gay, I did not tell my workmates I was gay until I was comfortable with it a few years ago, I told the biggest continual lie to my family for many a year, pretending I wasn’t gay.

    My lying was not constructive…

    1. There is a difference between being in the closet and being a straight guy posing online as a lesbian.
      People stay in the closet because they don’t feel confident in telling close family or friends they are gay or lesbian.
      Whilst this guy may have thought he wasn’t able to comment or empathise without assuming a persona, he had nothing to loose by simply admitting he was straight but empathised with LGB groups. Couldn’t he simply have written a blog from that perspective?
      I don’t buy the notion that the two scenarios are equal as straight people aren’t traditionally an oppressed minority group who have to out themselves as straight and face potential rejection. Most people imagine straight to be the default setting. Denial in that context means nothing.

  22. TrollFromDamascus 15 Jun 2011, 3:39am

    As a green-faced bisexual Martian, I applaud Bill Graber’s drive and determination bringing our cause to the world.

    It doesn’t matter if I’m actually a trisexual blue-faced Venusian. His spirit was strong.

    Stop moaning.

  23. So many LGBT folks struggling to get by and these phonies are successful. I just don’t get the mentality of being a complete FAKE. If the guy didn’t think people would take him seriously, what does he think we’re all thinking now?

  24. I believe both man harm our community, specially people in Middle east. They were both utterly wrong to use false identity to communicate online. Just wrong.. But. If a woman-a fag hag would pose as man to shine the light on gay issues would we judge her in same way? On the other hand gender bending has its attraction to all not just GLBT. There are consequences when pushed to far and playing with peoples lives thou. Being GLBT is still deadly in to many places. Let’s show some respect people.

  25. is it really a big deal? from what i can see he has simply put a creative piece online to raise awareness of sexuality and gender issues in the eastern world. he hasnt taken money from anyone or done any harm.

    1. To use a well worn analogy, it’s a bit like Al Jolson speaking for the black population of 1920’s America to raise awareness of what it’s like working on a plantation.
      Fine if you flag it up as a work of fiction where you are merely an observer, but it doesn’t sit that well if you’re claiming to have a personal stake in a minority you don’t actually belong to, and it undermines the credibility of those who have genuine first hand knowledge of the experience.

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