‘Establishing his straight credentials’, sounds like a veiled threat.
So he goes into a gay bar to tease the queers. I cant stand guys like that
Where does it say he was teasing anyone, he has as much right to be in there as anyone else and was not put on this earth for you to touch up when you like. I am sure he has an equally high opinion of you if he even cared to take you under his notice.
….so by your twisted logic, the two queens who caused the fuss in the John Snow were in there to tease the breeders….well now i heard it all……
Well I’d love to see a gay couple in a straighrt pub on a weekend kissing. They’d be killed
I have done it in DUblin a few times and if I get a few looks but no one has ever said anything and they wouldnt want to
Yeah but good luck to you if you try that anywhere outside Dublin city centre.
ht……f a ne it te i’d knock ya out cold, no messin asshole.
Pink News sort out your software……
….if ya touched me uninvited i’d knock ya out cold, no messin, asshole.
Depends on the straight pub – have snogged my ex in a straight pub on many occasion and am still very much alive!
So are you saying that if I go out with a group of my gay friends to a gay bar, that one of my straight male friends couldnt come along without being accused of “teasing the queers???”
I think the judge’s reasoning is wrong – establishing one’s straight credentials does not require a further assault, but the result is correct. Touching a stranger’s bottom is a sexual assault – women have been arguing this for decades, and men should be no different. It’s just a shame that this was turned into a matter of sexuality instead of being simply a matter of sex.
i agree – it’s got everything to do with unwanted touching.
Well put George.
I agree with George, I think the judges motives were right but his choice of language was unwise …
Equally the gay guy who used unwanted touching arguably carried out a sexual assault – to a level (as a former police officer) that wouldnt usually justify a prosecution – words of advice in most similar cases would be sufficient if police were involved ….
The response left no injury etc and thus was a very minor common assault, arguably an act of self defence given the initial unwanted touching …
I wouldnt feel there was a case to answer ….
There was no Physical assult here, therefore No action to be taken
Not sure what N Irish law says but certainly in English law there does not need to be physical injury to justify a prosecution for assault
Unwanted touching is sexual assault, although you have to wonder if Mr Thompson wasn’t overreacting a tad was this guy really “ready to plant his lips on me”? Also, if he has such a violent negative reaction to same sex sexual contact you do have to wonder what he’s doing in a gay bar!
The ruling is correct I feel because he didn’t cause the guy any physical injury, although DJ McElholm’s use of the phrase “‘Establishing his straight credentials” is regrettable as it makes it sound like he made the ruling for the wrong reasons.
I would have expected the same ruling if a man did it to a woman and the woman slapped him in response. It is not about establishing sexuality credentials but about rebuking an unwanted sexual assault.
An interesting twist might be if a woman patted a man’s bum and got the same response would that be treated the same way and if it wasn’t would that be discriminatory.
Not sure I would call the response violent given the unwanted sexual intrusion … there was no physical injury …
I am sure in the depths of Derry and many other cities – Sunderland, Preston, Portsmouth, Glasgow etc – this would have been the normal level of conversation and seen as restrained by many
I dunno generally when guys cop a feel i either move their hand away politely and ignore or say, sorry i’m not interested and walk away. The guys reaction was a tad…knob headish
I also react similarly to you …. however I am a gay man … I can understand that some straight men may be more vociferous in their response – but lets be clear there was no violence in this case
Dear Jessica Green – there are many issues around discrimination against Gays – bullying – the denial around HIV infection – and you use your so called journalistic ‘skills’ to report this – You must be so proud of how your career is progressing – Look up Journalist in the dictionary Miss!
Yes. Dead right.
In future, Jessica, can you make sure you run every story past JohnD, to make sure it gets his seal of approval… Because obviously, if JohnD does not want to read it or think it’s important, then nobody else will either.
LMAO, good call.
If PinkNews only posts stories that paint us in a positive light it would be as bad as the Christian institutes website.
Balanced reporting of LGBT news is what PinkNews is all about, long may it continue.
So there we have it.
The award for the daftest comment goes to…..
You people really need to get real lives – You all come across as a bunch of whining, over sensitive ‘stay at homes’ – V slow ‘news’ day – oh and Jock Strap – Why not tell the readers what you really do…Dickhead !
what, is that it?
He won’t tell us because he is scrounging from the state and obviously embarrassed about it :)
Get a life Jock S Trap, you’re the biggest Troll on this site, go spread your filth somewhere else
So far out but if you insist, jealousy is a terrible thing. Spread your filth? LOL bit immature but hey ho.
Funny how these one off names make such remarks.
Mind you it’s also funny that the only one blasting all for ‘whingers, over sensitive “stay at homes” in these particular section is you JohnD.
Seemed to have missed this one……..
There are indeed many issues around discrimination against the LGBT communities that are covered and debated enthusiastically within Pink News regularly.
There are also issues, such as this particular story, where the LGBT communities are portrayed (either fully or in part) in a negative light.
Responsible journalism that sits in the real world and examines good and bad should report on both.
I, for one, am interested in this story and the issues that it raises. If you are not so open minded, thats fine – don’t read the story.
As for a definition of journalism – how about this “the dissemination of information about current events, people, trends and issues”. It seems to me this accurately portrays the service provided by Jessica Green and her colleagues at Pink News.
Some gays think they have a right to touch people because there in a gay bar or sauna – you don’t.
If you do touch someone and they react in a negative manor you really shouldn’t complain
In a gay sauna everyone is there for the same reason, so that point is non sequitur. The lad did do it and I dont blame him. I have been the victim of unwanted advances before (Im gay) and have smacked a lad on one occassion an elbow and have told plenty where to get off. Get rid off the victim complex lads
not true , when I go to a gay sauna I go for a sauna or steam bath in an environment where I can feel comfortable as a gay man and for relaxation not for sex .
ah i get you now like the vast majority men do ? lol
Whatever his reason, it’s as valid as anyone else’s. <3
Dave you go to a gay sauna for the sauna? WTF? Is there actually a ‘sauna’ in gay saunas? Cause if so the one’s I’ve been to should be reported to the trades description act people. The only steam is that coming off sweaty bodies getting it on.
your wrong NOT everyone is there for the same reason – out of interest what you assume everyone is there for?
Dunno Gav, swapping Panini World Cup ’86 stickers I guess. Alls I need is a John Eriksen and a Rudi Voller and my collection is complete. Pfft. What do you go for? Conversation opportunities?
Sauna’s are somewhat different to bars. I agree, it shouldn’t really happen anywhere though. I would never go in a sauna anyway, but I have had people grope me in bars before now and I have told them in no uncertain terms if they try that again I’ll break their fukcing fingers.
Just because we are gay does not mean we have to dismiss common courtesy and decency.
The vast majority of people may be in a gay sauna for sex … that does not mean they want sex with everyone who is there, so there can and often are unwanted advances in a gay sauna – usually dealt with easily and respectfully by a brush off or polite no – but some people do push it and I have had to get very direct in the past ….
Equally, I do think it is reasonable to make advances in a bar or sauna but if its unwanted and spurned – a no really does mean no ….
Its not a victim complex, its about having the ability to not be sexually pestered
- establish his straight credentials , what’s that supposed to me?
Shoving your face in a gay person’s face to prove your straight is wrong, shoving your face into another person’s face becuase he touched your bottom then thats another thing….sends out a slightly funny message, if you want to prove your straight then you have to be aggressive ??
Sadly, that says more about heterosexual society than anything else – a straight man “has” to be confrontational and aggressive. It’s worth noting that he didn’t touch or assault the individual who violated his physical space, but simply got “in his face”. Although there are better ways of making the point, that is a typical guy-guy reaction to confrontation.
The Judge’s phrase is more of an issue, it would have been better had he said something along the lines of “the defendant reacted in a manner which he felt best expressed his sexuality and offense at being molested in a public place without consent.” See, that sentence fully explains the situation without resorting to such controversial language as “straight credentials”.
……if you want to prove your straight then you have to be aggressive ??
…and if you want to prove your gay, you grab some dudes ass??? Sends out an even funnier message …that all gays are sex mad boors.???.
Whether you’re in a gay bar, a sauna or a sex club, there are ways to show your interest without physical touching (which wouldn’t be acceptable in any other circumstance). If they’re interested in you, you’ll know. If you jump to third base with someone who hasn’t shown any interest in you, don’t be surprised if they react badly. It’s bad manners, if nothing else.
+1 exactly, dancing, eye contact, buying them a drink, chatting , perhaps a hand on the shoulder etc. etc.
and if you’re straight, in a gay bar and a gay person takes an interest in you and doesn’t touch your bum or anything else then the normal way to establish your precious straight credentials is to simply say I’m straight etc , the normal etiquette is not to shove your face or any other part of you into a gay person’s face…
But its not normal behaviour to start feeling someone up. He didnt plant the guy, no assault took place he marked his territory and I dont blame him .
chutney have you ever *been* to a gay bar? they’re quite touchy feely places. and shopping your face into someone else’s is ALOT more impolite that a quick feel imo. it’s enough to just say “don’t do that i’m straight” and then be firmer if they persist. I really don’t see how it’s acceptable to intimidate someone in that way. reacting to unwanted attention with aggression straight off is just thuggish ;/
Agreed. But straight boys seem rarely able to assert themselves without tipping into agression. (Sweeping generalisation, perhaps, lol. But only based on observation. And I agree it’s not excusable. But neither is treating everyone as a piece of meat, or ‘fair game’.)
Actually, scratch that. If you’re aggressive to someone (sexually assault them), as a rule of thumb, you can pretty much expect them to be aggressive right back (shout in your face, or punch you). So don’t do it. Buy them a drink instead and see how you get on. ;)
I’m not entirely sure how shoving your face into another man’s is supposed to prove you’re straight, it sounds to me like it could have quite the opposite effect.
Nope, that’s shoving your ass in someone’s face. Though face to face confrontations sounds like its all in a day’s work for anyone living in Derry.
If no physical assault took place how the f–k did this non-event end up in front of a judge unless the straight guy used homophobic abuse to ‘establish his straight credentials’ and if so then why was he even in a gay club. The devil is in the details, which seem to be missing in this story.
Some blokes go to gay bars to pick up women m :)
Can a faghag prise themselves away from their gaggle of twinky Lady Gaga obsessed mates long enough to get pulled by a straight bloke though?
Seen it been done !
May I take this opportunity to bemoan the total desecration of one of the last bastions of ‘guys only’ boozers/clubs in Vauxhall (I ain’t talking about the Tavern). Saturday nights has now seen it become a flop house for faghags and their twinks and more irritatingly straight guys who don’t seem to understand the etiquette when it comes to queueing at the bar or bogs.
Hmmmm so he went into a gay bar to establish his straight credentials! The person with the wandering hands was out of order, but the reaction is over the top too.
It would not surprise me if the acquitted man is now encouraged to file a sexual assault charge.
As I said above I dont know the law in N Ireland but if he came to me as a former sexual offence liaison officer when I was in the police, then I would have said a simple hand on backside would not warrant criminal investigation unless there were aggravating factors …
Having what sounds like a markedly uptight, even prissy overreaction is certainly an odd way of ‘establishing straight credentials’.
And if I were to grab your arse without you wanting me to…?
Depends what you looked like flamineo!
…….you sound like a pretty nasty piece of work with nothing in your head but sex. Yeuk.
Depending on context, I’d be amused or indifferent.
Oh you tease! Well we all love a challenge.
Heh – not at all. But I were to get as hysterical as a Victorian virgin by the prospect of being touched – touched, for God’s sake! – I certainly wouldn’t bother going to a gay bar/club (not that I often do, but that’s another story).
Bully for you. Some people will do anything for a quick flirt.
Personally, I’d give them a fat lip.
I’m sorry, but I would “Assert my gay credentials”. ;)
What on earth was this man doing in a gay venue? How many straight men in their right mind would venture into a gay bar in the first place? Either way touching anyone unsolicited is wrong, no matter their gender or orientation. Would any of us go into a straight bar and touch a straight person like that? I don’t think so.
Some of us gays have mates who are straight that occasionally venture out with us to the “dark side” lol. Alternatively they just go because it’s a bit different and variety is the spice of life… Do you never go to a straight bar or club? If so I pity you.
Depends on how much alcholol some of us have drunk?
You know… You can’t make a big deal if you’ve violated someones privacy rather they are gay or straight. If a woman grabbed a gay mans junk in a straight bar and he shoved her would it be assault? Or a simple case of reacting to being violated? I agree with the courts in this one. And I’m a lesbian…
I’ve been in cases where I’ve told heterosexual men that I’m in the bar to have a good time and one of them grabs my breast and I get angry. If I knocked his head off I should not be jailed because I defend myself from an unwanted touch.
Just because someone is gay or a straight person is in a gay bar to have a good time doesn’t mean that anyone has the right to violate a persons space.
If it was a gay person in a straight bar I’m sure everyones comments would be in support of the gay persons reactions.
People look at things from a selfish point of view instead of a logical one.
Sorry but the judge supported his actions. When any of my straight friends go to Gay bars with me they are used to the banter and even another persons drunken fumble but No is usually all it takes without the need to ‘establish anyones credentials’ or assaulting anyone.
The fact that neither people actually made any complaint it should have been left there.
I agree when I have had straight friends out with me – they either take any attention in a jokey manner (making it clear they are straight) and flirt right back (sometimes through partially gritted teeth lol) or give a simple, polite and direct NO …
That said, there was no violence or injury – I think the issue is the judges words – the actions of this man were merely an angry reaction to unwanted sexual advances … something many of us have been guilty of I am sure – who is mostly at wrong in this case – the misguided guy who tried it on …
It sounds like some of the Gay onlookers wanted to stir up trouble because of this man ‘establishing his credentials’. It should have been left to those involved, which they actually did.
How is this news? Gays think they have the right to sexual harassment, they don’t, if a straight guy did this to a woman in any club they’d expect a slap, why should sexual harassment be tolerated?
What ‘gays’ think they have the right to sexual harrassment?
The comments on here have almost all agreed with the judge’s decision, and the initial complaint was made by a witness whose orientation is not stated.
The only people who seem to think Mr Thompson committed an assault are the police. Are the PSNI the ‘gays’ you had in mind?
Jason, dont think anyone on here or in any of the reports has suggested in any way that “the gays” have a right to sexual harassment … where on earth do you get that bizarre, unfounded idea from?
An interesting story but a confusing report.
At least the district judge (magistrate in old money) made it clear that unwanted sexual touching is indecent assault: “if someone did that to a woman in this town, heaven knows how she would react… This was a serious initial assault not in terms of injury, but it was an assault on the defendant.” A small step for a magistrate, but a giant leap for Northern Ireland!
Aside from that, DJ McElhome’s decision is a mess. ‘Establishing his straight credentials’ is irrelevant. Orientation is not the issue: the only thing that matters is consent. Mr Thompson didn’t consent. End of.
But was a forehead-butt a proportionate response to the unwanted touching? Since no injury was caused, then yes.
But seriously, why has baboon communication become the vernacular of a Saturday night?
Baboon 1: [attempts mating gesture]
Baboon 2: [bares teeth]
Human 1: Wanna hook up?
Human 2: Sorry, I’m not into guys.
The quote formatting came out wrong. That was a quote from the judge:
“if someone did that to a woman in this town, heaven knows how she would react… This was a serious initial assault not in terms of injury, but it was an assault on the defendant.”
Feeling up someone uninvited is unacceptable but it looks like the recipient overreacted – I suspect this is common among straight male ‘tourists’ in gay venues.
I suspect there will be other examples of perceived over-reaction (although others may feel it was a proportionate reaction) elsewhere. However, I have seen more examples when been accompanied by straight guys on the scene in a group situation where a polite – “I’m not interested thanks” has worked marvels
Straights in Gay Bars do not mix.
I have seen many times trouble in Gay Bars caused by straight people.
This situation has been blown out of proportion. You have to understand if your in a Gay Bar people will assume your Gay or Lesbian unless you wear a t shirt which says im straight.
Suggesting assault being a simple feel of your bum is ridiculous. My Civil Partners younger brother reacted the same way years ago when working on a job where a gay guy fancied him and verbally chatted him up which he objected to. Now he is very homophobic.
Maybe its time to make Gay Bars free from Straight People that way straights wont have to complain if someone touches them in a way they dont like.
What a backward step making gay bars ban straight people would be …
I have had many experiences (including some of the best nights I have had) where I have been out on the scene with a number of gay people and a couple of straight and had a whale of a time.
To bar people on the grounds they are straight is the reverse of what the LGBT communities set out to achieve many years ago
As a gay man I would not welcome a touch from everyone in a gay bar – it makes no difference that this guy was straight that was touched – he just didnt want to be touched … that makes it an assault in law – although a relatively minor one …
“Straights in Gay Bars do not mix.”
But Equality Laws are a two way street not a one way one.
Well said Jock S Trap
There are clear reasons for single gender, single sexuality locations eg domestic violence refuges, gay saunas etc etc but gay bars should not have a segregation policy (unless they are perhaps some of the more deviant bars … where I suspect most straight lads would not want to go!)
Are there domestic violence refuges for men?
It’s something that is denied in society but there are Many men both Straight and Gay that are victims of domestic violence.
Do they have an escape?
A safe haven?
I’ve yet to hear of any.
I’m more on the side of the straight guy. I’m gay and have had other guys touch me up in clubs on numerous occasions, without any provocation. I don’t like it. It makes me feel powerless and like an object.
This isn’t a gay thing – it’s a male thing – some men think it’s OK to be sexually aggressive. It’s not.
It makes you feel powerless and like an object? FFS man up and deal with it. it would be worse if no one was paying you any attention. As for touching a guy’s ass, if you call that sexually aggressive then its time you went back to the convent sister.
Of course it’s sexually aggressive!
How about you touch my ass and I smack you in the mouth?
Hows that for aggressive? Either you’re macho, or you’re gay.
You can’t have it both ways, ‘sister’.
Wow, such a big, tough man that he gets … all hysterical and screechy about being – Heaven preserve us! – touched on the bum.
Not very macho, actually not macho at all. Very girly, in fact.
Excelent, the right result.
a straight girl touched my bum is a sraight pub last weekend. i told her her i was gay and not interested. end of story. no police no trial.wish i’d taken herb to court now.
Thing is the straight guy and the guy who touched him up, neither of them made a complaint to the police – that came from a third party – sheesh, in my day we would have said it was up to the aggrieved to contact us for something apparently so minor ….
It is not unreasonable for a gay man in a gay club to assume that he is largely surrounded by other gay men. If you’re a man in a gay club, being hit on is rather par for the course then, surely? How is a gay man supposed to know that another man just happens to be straight in a gay environment?
If you’re straight and violently object to being hit on by gay men, then don’t go to the club or learn to brush it off with good humour; there is no need to turn thuggish; you dont have to “prove” your straightness. Its a gay club. jeez.
….straight or gay, the dude had no right to “feel up” the guys ass. That is assault like it or not. Indeed “chutneybear” above who said “+1 exactly, perhaps a hand on the shoulder etc. etc.” was also wrong That is also assault. No one has the right to invade anyones personal space until invited to do so either verbally or by positive signals.
Too right Tomos we cant go to many straight places because of anti gay attitudes but fag hags have made it ok for anti gay people to spoil our places. Lesbians would have none of it.
Fag hags have destroyed the gay bar scene. Plenty of decent venues around Shoreditch have been spoiled by the amount of fag hags and the resultant straight guys who there for the opportunistic potential ‘lay’. Anyone frequent the Joiner’s Arms pre fag-hagdom? It ain’t like that anymore, you’re more likely to get in a punch-up with some straight ‘geezer’ who thinks its his god-given right to act like a c88t.
There’s a BIG difference between being “hit on” and being groped.
Whether the guy was gay or straight is irrelevant – its the fact he didnt want to be touched
There have been times when I as a gay man have been out on the scene and been touched up that I have not enjoyed. Mostly, a polite – I’m not interested suffices but sometimes there are guys that (whether through alcohol or other reason) just won’t take no for an answer … some of these I have wanted to smack but usually find a more diplomatic but direct way to defuse the situation … Easily I could have been straight and a gay guy trying it on with me – my orientation really does not matter – its a person who doesnt welcome the touching – its unwanted, that is all that matters …
The victim hasn’t given his side of the story. We don;t know that there was actually any unwanted touching, it might have been more of a verbal come-on. Anyway, even if it was uninvited touching, head-butting the guy is a pretty harsh reaction considering that it was a gay hook-up spot.
Ladies have a spectrum of responses to unwanted touching in night clubs. None of them result in head-butting someone like an Eighties football hooligan. He could have said something. He could have summoned a bouncer. He could have slapped the guy’s hand away. He could have even tossed a drink in the guy’s face if it was a really gross groping. But head-butting? Way to do GBH, jackass.
….how did you manage to twist “shoving his face in the assaulters face” into “head butting”. Go back and read the article properly
you should get on politics.ie Paddy few of us fellow Irish lads on it, less plonkers than on here!
…..Just joined politics.ie. Waiting on confirmation e.mail. Put you down as referer but it was knocked back as not valid. Whats your tag on there. I used Paddyswurds as on here. Thanks anyway for the tip. I agree about this site .Some real plonkers on here. Someone is stealing tags to make nasty posts !!
There was no head butting, there was no injury!
This is one of the reasons I do not support mixed venues. They trigger homophobia and violence against us gays.
Gay venues should be gay only and stay that way.
Gay rights has a lot to answer for, for ruining our gay social life. Using the discrimination laws to justify acceptance and tolerance.
This is why we are becoming repressed, as it is not safe to be and party with your own kind. Fear of upsetting straights who want to hang out at gay bars.
If straights don’t like being touched in a gay bar, don’t go. Problem solved.
Agreed Dont come into my house and try to make the rules
Well yeah I agree, gay venues that also allow straight customers certainly lose their appeal but how can you keep a gay venue for gay patrons only? You’ll have someone screaming about double standards and discrimination.
It wasnt a matter of “not liking”, they discriminated because they didnt want gays. Just the same as CMYB states we can’t turn away straights from gay bars for the same reason.
What’s good for the goose etc.
Would that be a bit like B&B’s only wanting straights in double rooms?
Sorry sunshine, but equality cuts both ways.
You made your bed, now lie in it.
B&b situation was discrimination they didn’t like gay people. The guy was allowed into the bar but he didn’t like The attention that’s his fault for going to a gay place.
If you want to touch someone bottom, go to the gay bath house. At the subway, you do that you get arrested so what make it legal in a gay bar???
The statement “establishing his straight credentials” is an extremely unproductive statement for any chances of equality. All he had to say was the man was ‘establishing his lack of interest’. That judge was an old heterosexist fart. Just imagine a gay man did that to a straight woman. I have been felt up so many times by women and just ignore it. Theres no chance I would have got away with “establishing my gay credentials”
He was right to do it, I dont blame the lad. He marked his terrirtory. He told the lad in a direct manner and didnt assualt him. Dont get your tiara in a twist…
Well said Chutneybear
all this talk of “marking territory” is making you guys sound neandertholic, there’s such a thing of POLITENESS even if someones a dick to you >.<
i honestly can't believe the thuggish attitudes of the community i'm meant to be part of :/
Not thuggish just straight acting
@ James, why would you feel the need to “act straight” ?? I’m not camp but I’m not acting straight I know alot of straigh effeminate men they arnt “gay acting” and since when does straight/masculine qequate to agression and violence?
what an absurd term to use
This man goes to a GAY BAR to establish his straight credentials? What LUNACY? Now, I do not support touching anyone’s ass UNLESS it’s your friend and they are OK with it. But I am certain if this man was in a straight bar and a woman touches his behind, he would not have acted so abusively. But he goes to a gay bar, touched by a man AND instead of verbally reprimanded the man, he acted physically violent, and this sorry excuse for a judge, ruled that he’s establishing his straight credentials. Maybe the judge is saying that BEING UNNECESSARILY VIOLENT is how straight men normally behave – Well keep out gay bars!
Well of course if a woman touched his @ss in a straight bar he would have reacted differently- he’d probably have loved it.
This article also highlights that he went to the gay bar with an ulterior motive, and that is that he wanted to cause trouble for the venue and it’s patrons.
Most straights would not blink an eyelid as they are comfortable with themselves and the gay people they hang out with. Probably be flattered that they can attract attention to their own sex.
This article says nothing about the guy’s motive. What, you think he was like “I’m going to wait until I am sexually assaulted and then make a scene.”? Not likely.
Not wanting to be groped does not mean a person is homophobic or uncomfortable with themself.
And he was relatively cool about it. Anyone of any gender who decided it was okay to feel me up without my consent would get a knuckle sandwich.
Stu. Personally I think that gay people only have a few places where we can relax and it’s annoying that other gay people would want to bringtheir straight friends. I reckon you do that to prove to your straight friends that you’re just like them.
No I do it because we want to hang out with our straight mates. I have mostly straight mates and when it comes to gay bars when we do go we have a laugh. I have reacted aggresively to little queens who wont take no for an answer before. Its not something confined to the gay scene. We want to be included in society yet we create our own seperate scene. Its a vicious circle
Problem is we are not accepted and some of us have to deal with anti gat atitudes daily. It would be nice to have a safe place where we can flirt of chat someone up without having to worry if they are straight. Lesbians would not have random straight men wandering around their clubs and pubs so why should we have to deal with the straight acting gays and their mates. It sounds pretty awful to me
Quote – so why should we have to deal with the straight acting gays and their mates – unquote
Are you seriously saying that not only would you bar straights from gay bars, but anyone who doesnt conform to the stereotyping you expect from a gay man????
Actually All my straight friends love Gay bars because they actually feel relaxed and confortable.
They usually are the focus of attention from some of the guys but know how to have a laugh with them not at them.
I would think the only guys uncomfortable with Gay bars are the ones who think they may get laid with a fag-hag but in general when I am out it always ends in an excellent night enjoyed but all.
I would think those lady loving guys though are less like to frequent them.
I do hear though it is a problem in Manc.
However we campaign to stop US being turned away from hotels etc so now we have that we have to accept that this is a direct consequence of that Bill.
I have reacted aggresively to little queens who wont take no for an answer
So how do you react to big queens or big bears (same thing, of course) who won’t take no for an answer?
anti gay from your own pretty nasty
Exactly Chutneybear – I have a mixed circle of friends, some gay, some lesbian, some bi, some straight. There are many times when we will have a “mixed” night out – going to both straight and gay bars as we make our way through town. It’s about being social and enjoying time with your friends.
To listen to some of the posters here, those of us who aren’t straight should wait on the street whilst they are in “their” bars and then they should wait outside for us when we get to “our” bars…
At the end of the day, this guy was molested and reacted. How individuals react to this kind of thing varies enormously – one person may just turn around and say “don’t touch me again, I’m way out of your league”, another may tell him to p*ss off, another might get in his face and another may crack him one. I hugely dislike having my personal space invaded without consent and would have reacted exactly as this guy did. Nobody touches me without permission, end of story.
No idea what is going on with the formatting on the comments boards recently – that was 3 paragraphs when I wrote it.
No, I occasionally have a straight friend or two in a crowd of gay guys. We also occasionally go out in straight bars. I work in a predominantly gay environment, although I have some straight colleagues – so when we go out for a work event there are occasions that we end up in gay bars – to exclude us is morally wrong.
You can think whatever you like about my motivation for having non-gay friends with me on the gay scene, my friends know the reality, as do I and your opinion does not inform my decision making processes. It has nothing to do with my “trying to prove I am just like them”, I am very comfortable in who and what I am – and need no approval from anyone (friend or foe) for my sexual orientation.
I do appreciate that it is useful to have places to relax – I have found the gay scene (on all but one occasion) whether there are some straights there or not has been a relaxing environment. Equally, some straight venues have been appropriate places for me to relax
I dont think this guy was teasing anyone though He should have realised that by going into a gay bar there is the possibility of someone giving his bum a feel. I mean, straight men and women get it the same in straight bars, If a guy likes a girl he might go over and chat and/or feel her bum. If a girl likes a guy she would go over and chat and/or feel his bum. TBH I think this guys reaction was a too much on the offensive side. Why not just laugh it off and say “sorry mate, im not gay”?
I suppose you want a sophisticated answer but i don’t have one. the guy is a prick tease. someone should bend him over and sort him out
That is the sort of Neanderthal attitude that misogynistic men used to try and get away with in relation to accusations of female rape … only yours is worse
They would say “her skirt was short, she was clearly after it …”
You’re not even saying that, you appear to be saying “He was in the bar, he clearly wanted it …”
Stu I’m saying you dont go to gay bars and attack the patrons. It’s just not on. Gay bars should be a safe place for gay people
All bars should be a safe place for EVERYONE, James. That includes the ability to have a drink without someone sexually assaulting you. If someone touched my arse, I’d be in their face too – and I like guys. We don’t know why he was there, but the fact that he appears to have been comfortable until some weirdo molested him suggests he has little issue with gays, but rather with being groped by a stranger – a position I fully agree with.
Just because he was a straight guy in a gay bar doesn’t make him a ‘prick tease’ – it makes him a person having a drink in a bar. Grow up already. Not every man exists for you to molest and then scream “homophobia!” if he doesn’t appreciate it. Touch me without permission and I’ll lay you out cold, end of story. That’s not being homophobic or a prick tease, it’s called not liking being molested.
At the end of the day, the guy who should have been in court is the gay man – for sexual assault. And the judge for his moronic statement.
I suppose if you view a pub as a pick up joint then you might think straight men going their are just prick teasers.
I personally go with my straight friends to have a good night out with a good crowd.