What a homophobic, self-hating lesbian. Doesn’t this mean that any male co-stars who are interested in women “fancy” her too?
I don’t think it’s homophobic or self-hating to be paranoid about other peoples’ reactions. I’m sure plenty of people are paranoid that their actions are misinterpreted by others, and in acting, where those actions are more intimate (obviously because they’re in a script) I can see why she’d be uncomfortable
Let’s remember this article the next time someone tries to nominate Margoyles as some kind of gay icon or role model. The same goes for David Starkey and his comments about how hoteliers should have the right to turn away gay couples. Margoyles blames revealing her sexuality as something she regrets. If that’s not a homophobic message, what is?
David Starkey also supported those Christian foster parents who were in the news recently. Surprisingly though Iain Duncan Smith thought the court decision was correct, as can be seen on this clip from BBC One’s ‘Question Time’ last Thursday.
…I liked david Starkey until he came out with what he did in that program. I was apalled that a supposedly gay man could possibly take the side of what was clearly homophobia by a group og Xtian fanatsists. i don’t thjink he had even read the judgement and thought he was being “agreeable with the mood of the audience, who clapped loudly in agreeance with IDS and whats her face from the Labour party.
I dont like her opiion but shes entitled to have one.
Oh, poor Miriam. She shouldn’t feel self-conscious and embarassed about the possibility of people thinking she might fancy them. They should be honoured if a wonderous dame such as Miriam did!
The circumstances of her coming out were indeed sad and regrettable, but only the circumstances surrounding the coming out- not the coming out itself. Coming out should always be celebrated; the closet is a dangerous place to be.
…wishful thinking if you ask me….. who the heck would be that hard up. Yeuk.
Considering the number of women – specifically close friends – that I’ve had in the past that have assumed I fancy them as soon as they find out I’m gay, I can’t blame her. It’s frustrating and awkward when it happens, because those relationships tend to never fully recover.
Oh no. Do you believe EVERY man instinctively fancies you?
Interesting life you must lead! We’re all horn dogs and there is mo such thing as type!
“I don’t think it’s homophobic or self-hating to be paranoid about other peoples’ reactions.”
Being trans, I often worry about what others will think of me and how they might treat me.
It’s daft to think that makes me a self-hating transphobic…
Someone needs to tell her that the problem was not that she told her mother, but that her mother had a problem with her. She did not kill her mother as she sadly seems to think/
I love Miriam, she is brilliant. I can understand what she is saying though. Its not about her its about them. She IS a lesbian but if she is kissing a straight girl the girl might think she is enjoying it a ‘bit too much’. She feels uncomfortable for them. Its actually quite honourable.
I don’t think it is at all homophobic or ‘self hating’ – I’m sure nobody on here can say they have never had doubts or paranoia about what other people think. There seems to be this pressure for gay people to be perpetually ‘brave’ and to represent all gay people, and to be impervious to other people’s opinions. Especially famous gay people. She is only human, and refreshingly honest at that. I just think it’s so sad that she has such deep seated guilt about her mother – hopefully she will speak to someone professionally about her feelings, who will help her realise it was not at all her fault.
I cant help but think poor Miriam, it must me horrible to carry around that amused guilt about her mothers death. She need to recognise her mother died of a underling medical condition, it had nothing to do with her telling her mother.
I’m sure her thinking on kissing other actresses is probably a result of the guilt she is carrying around with her.
It must be not me!!!!!
What a shame that she blames hereself for her mother’s stroke.
She’s a good actor and she’s been robbed of her chance to get a feeling of acceptance from her mother.
This has nothing to do with being homophobic, or a self hating lesbian, but just her reaction on the total ridiculous reactions from others, many women (!), when you come out as a lesbian…
Quite a few immediately start to think you fancy every woman…
And as people might have noticed, coming out as a lesbian quite often results in loss of roles for actresses…
And this is why our current struggle for equal treatment is so important. No one should have to carry the burdens Miriam is carrying just because they are gay. I hope we leave a better world for the next generation.
Any Septuagenarian lesbian that can kick the crap out of Arnold Schwarzenegger can do no wrong in my book! Go Miriam!
I feel some sympathy for her.
she comes from a generation where if you were growing up gay, you believed you were sick and diseased.
Thankfully the attitudes displayed by Margolyes are no longer prevalent.
One of the first things my straight colleagues did when asking me if I was gay while I was at work (I have never lied when asked and hope that I shall never need to) was ask me if I fancied any of them.
I didn’t. And as is often the way they didn’t seem to know whether to be relieved or annoyed.
I lost my best friend through school because of it. My guy friends were fine but my best female friend told me outright that gay guys were fine but gay women were not.
All of that aside, I have never been in a job where kissing people is expected/scripted. Surely actors and actresses must realise and understand what they are doing? It seems a little reactionary and mildly offensive to her co-stars, as it suggests that they are not capable of professional detachment.
As for the issue with her mother? I very very much suspect that the stroke occurring after she came out was a coincidence and nothing more. I would recommend a therapist. Carrying that guilt for 40+ years is long enough.
> What a homophobic, self-hating lesbian.
Life is a bit more textured and complicated than the criticism suggests.
I feel sympathy for her, and like others here feel it’s just sad that her life circumstances have led her to feel that way.
That said, Miriam, darling — with meaty roles for older women so scarce, and with almost no roles at all for older women showing any form of sexuality, if a septagenarian lesbian romance role came your way, please take it! Talk about few and far between…
But as a bi woman, I know what it feels like to come out to both male and female friends who think ‘oh sh^t, does this mean you fancy me’, and then not knowing whether to feel relieved or insulted when told ‘no’ (and don’t get me started on the stereotypical presumption that if you’re bi you must do 3somes… few friendships ever survive the embarrassment of asking and being told ‘no’ on that score)…. it’s got nothing to do with self-hate to say you want to avoid such things.
I love my grandmother to bits but I know she probably wouldn’t be accepting of me. If I came out to her and she suffered a stroke afterwards I would feel terrible because I knew in the first place it wasn’t a good idea. It’s not fair to criticise Miriam Margoyles for feeling guilty, especially seeing as it obviously causes her enough pain as it is. What a dreadful shame. :(
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It is in no way homophobic or self-hating to not want to interact in a certain way with certain people.
At my work there are two people who make me intensely uncomfortable because they are overly touchy-feely even although I know the are straight and would have no attraction to me.
However, with straight friends the same interactions would be without any discomfort.
Quite simply, I would not want to be accused of sexual harassment, even although from my point of view, I’m not the instigator and therefore I’ve done nothing wrong. I ensure that I keep a well established “professional distance” from my colleagues.
But you are not in a job where you have to interact with people-intimately are you?
Wow, didn’t realize acting was like your every day office job.
Yet another self-loathing apologist of a certain age. You expect to hear this sort off guff from sexually-confused teenagers, not successful gay women in their prime. Miriam – in the nicest possible way – please seek help.
She’s one hell of a minger, always was.
so to have an opinion you have to be a ‘babe? Charming.
Miriam was born in 1942 not 1982. Her life experiences are very different to a lesbian in her 20′s or 30′s.
For a large portion of her life lesbians officially just did not exist and to be found out might see you institutionalised in an asylum.
You cant go through all this stuff without it leaving you with lots of baggage.
Some people should cut her a break.
…my reaction to the death of her mother is that it’s a pity that isn’t the result for all homophobes.Imagine being so hate filled with homophobia that it actually kills you. Poetic Justice.
Homophobia is a symptom of ignorance; are you going to wish death on people who don’t know any better?
Seems to be the attitude of a lot of posts I’ve read on this site so far…
Anyway, I agree with what most other people are saying. She should definitely seek out advice. Carrying a burden like that around for so long must really wear someone down.
@ sven……Ignorance isn’t a condition which can’t be remedied and so to continue being ignorant leaves one open to ridicule. however i don’t agree thet homophobia is always a symptom of ignorance. It is mre often than no a part of being infected by the whole Abrahamic faith cult and is often a requirement of that condition. Over 90% of homophobes know that their homophobia is wrong but choose to continue in that vein.
I think Ms Margoyle’s comments are open and honest. Also. she is from a different generation. Very easy for the spoilt young things of today to make judgements . A very sad scenario concerning the death of her mother. I caused my Mother a great deal of angst when I declared my homosexuality. Fortunately, we had time to work through the whole issue. And yes, I have experienced such odd behaviour from some fellow male workers, who for some strange reason, think that they must be instantly desirable because I am a gay guy. Wrong! Straights are weird that way! Fun to deflate their egos though.
…but Miriam I for one WANT you to play lesbian roles….insist on a lesbian co-star!!!
It’s a shame she has to carry around such guilt just because at the time when she told her mother was a Lesbian. Even thought the law had changed it was still pretty much considered shameful, not as accepting as it is today.
I can understand her comment about not liking to play Lesbians, it’s certainly not homophobic and anyone that knows Miriam knows she is fair from self hating. Eccentric yes, definitely!!
So you would agree if a straight actor said he didn’t want to play a gay role? Because people will begin to think he fancies them?
Oookay. Interesting and I can’t wait until an actor says that you can’t play gay because you get type casted as gay and see what the hypocritical commanders on this blog say.
Not a good role model for International Women’s Day.
It’s easy to dismiss Miriam Margolyes’ comments as some have done here as “homophobic” and “self-loathing”. It’s also stupid and narrow-minded. She’s in the position she describes, not us, so let’s do her the courtesy of conceding that Ms Margolyes knows better than we do how she feels and interacts with her colleagues in her workplace. I think many can identify with the way she feels from our own experiences. How many gay men haven’t been in a situation where straight men have managed to indicate that because they’ve discovered they’re in the presence of a gay man, that gay man must obviously be attracted to them however bloody unlikely such a scenario might be? And as for her comments on her mother’s reaction to her coming out, it happened in 1967 in a family environment we know nothing about, For those who weren’t around in 1967 it’s hard to appreciate just what a different world we lived in then.
God you spiteful old bitches. As for telling her mother, it was 1967, a very very different era so you can understand why she says what she says.
I also completely understand her sentiments in general. Nothing self loathing at all. I mean really.
Let me take it you’re not young? Only someone old would come out with such crap. God, will live on the age of innovation, social networking, new ideas and fashions and this woman comes out with this?
Let me take it you know nothing?
Don’t take LGBT History for granted.
Learn from it. Remember History is our guide to the future.
Having recorded voiceovers with Miriam, I can tell you that she is a great talent and personality. We all have regrets where our parents are concerned after they’ve gone. I think it’s sad Miriam feels that way, but I’m sure she gave her mother a great deal of pride and love.
Oh, that sounds totally legit, thank you. And even though you’re a “smart & pretty” gal, you’re not smart enough to see this is a gay site, but I’m sure well all *love* to meet a member of the opposite sex…. its what gay people do, no?
Will you be there too, you sounds just wonderful?