This is such great news. I’ve been really shaken since I read this news some time ago. I can’t understand how the authorities could possibly keep this child separated from his parents (or his biological parent, if you want to take the most homophobic point of view possible) for two years keeping him in a foster family first, then an orphanage.
It’s entirely their own fault. Any intelligent individual would not have given even the slightest consideration to a surrogacy in UKRAINE. A non-EU state, riddled with corruption and one of the more homophobic European countries going. Border crossing is often difficult anyway, let alone with a newborn, mixed-nationality child.
If they couldn’t find a surrogate in Belgium, why didn’t they try neighbouring countries Netherlands, Germany, France or Luxembourg? Sounds as if they wanted something ‘exotic’ for some kind of ‘wow’ factor.
This is yet another case of ‘I want it all and will get it at whatever cost’ gay parents. No thought for the child involved and no appreciation for the legal complications. It’s all about them and their ‘personal fulfilment’. Selfish, arrogant and most definitely stupid.
mmmmmmmmm – I remember this story and they seemed to be none of those things. I can’t remember why they chose Ukraine; presumably it was just cheaper over there or something, but I don’t think it was for an exotic baby. And besides, if, as the article says, “they say they were reassured by Belgian authorities that there would no problems around taking their child home” – then on what basis would you call them stupid?
Anyway, I hope it all goes to plan this weekend. I’m glad they’re getting him home.
For those who didn’t followed the news article and jumped against Ukraine –even if Ukraine isn’t the best apple of the basket AT ALL- the problem lied ON BELGIUM for not recognizing at first the child as the legitimate son of Belgian citizen, even after DNA tests. They –the young gay couple- were gullible because they didn’t reason the logic consequences of doing thing without serious assurances –for instance, they were extorted by the carrying mother for money under the threat of abortion etc. . All of that we can blame on their inexperience and also that usually people who are from very less corrupt and impoverished countries don’t follow the realities of third world states, where every opportunity is taken to dupe those who are perceived as rich.
For the record the gay couple did research on the matter, but they trusted hearsay without going really deep into the serious legalities of the theme. But I understand that for such a thing you need to be an Elton John with a fortune easily at hand for every little detail, far away from a normal household, even if they both were reasonably well.
Their terrible story serves as an advice for those who think that doing the surrogate thingy a la Elton John is easy.
” Selfish, arrogant and most definitely stupid.”
……again mmmmmmmmmmm describing himself in his comments.
“mmmmmmmmm – I remember this story and they seemed to be none of those things. I can’t remember why they chose Ukraine; presumably it was just cheaper over there or something, but I don’t think it was for an exotic baby.”
There’s your answer – it was cheaper. Not legally safer, not better for the kid, but cheaper. The WRONG reasons to do anything. It would seem the only considerations made were for getting their kid as quickly as possible – again, it was all about THEM, their regard for the child was distinctly lacking. Consequently, it was the child deprived of its parents and the most affected, not them.
“And besides, if, as the article says, “they say they were reassured by Belgian authorities that there would no problems around taking their child home” – then on what basis would you call them stupid?”
They are stupid for not having done ther research properly. Regardless of what Belgium thought, Ukraine can do what it likes on its borders and it has no EU laws that can intervene. Whilst it transpired that it was Belgium probably the main problem, if you are stupid enough to get your designer baby in a THIRD country, not another EU state, then you are taking a huge risk. It’s comparable with getting your child from Russia or China. Had they done it in Germany, then both states being within the EU would have put paid to any such troubles and, even if they did arise, the speed of legal resolution would have been much greater.
Like you say, they listened to hearsay – that is a sign of stupidity and ignorance. I would automatically assume that I could be extorted if I were to get a surrogacy in Ukraine and would never do it.
I’d like to think this was a warning to others seeking surrogacy, but it won’t be the last such case. There are fools in every country. But how those fools are dealt with by those countries varies dramatically. Best to stick with ones you can trust a little better.
“” Selfish, arrogant and most definitely stupid.”
……again mmmmmmmmmmm describing himself in his comments.”
Yawn. Oh Thom, if only you actually had an opinion of your own, what great debates we could have. It’s a shame that you are not really up to it, could have been beautiful.
I hope the child’s emotional development is not damaged by being stuck in a Ukrainian orphanage for such a critical, formative period of his life. It is shocking that this poor couple had such hurdles.
The reason they chose Ukraine is, put simply, because it is one of very few places where you can enforce a surrogacy contract under which payment is made – the others being California and India (it’s slightly more complicated than that, but that’s the basic position). They probably couldn’t afford California.
I feel sorry for them. Whilst surrogacy is not for everyone (and I wouldn’t want to do it), it must have been awful to have your child trapped in an Orphanage with nothing you could do about it. No good for the child either. I’m glad it looks like it will be sorted.
Reagardless of the people defending the parents, I still don’t feel any empathy for them, it was entirey their own doing. The only victim in all of this is the child.
Personally, I would make surrogacy illegal as the disadvantages and complications far outweigh the benefits – and it’s always the child that suffers the most. You’ve got to find a reliable carrier (and possibly an ovum to implant as well), stump up the cash, cross your fingers that the carrier doesn’t become attached to the child she’s carrying, try to make sure you can get the child back into your own country, explain to the child as he/she is growing up that his biological mother is never going to be around and then sit back and wait for any legal fights to take hold – whether that’s the mother wanting the child back (or access rights), getting citizenship or getting custody in case of divorce (remember, only one is the biological parent).
A surrogacy isn’t about having a child out of love, it’s out of pure selfishness to carry on a bloodline, to get a more designer baby or to overcompensate for not being heterosexual (‘see, I can breed too’). There’s a lot of vanity in all of this, people just want their own stamp on the child or to have want their parents did (‘oooh, doesn’t he look like me’).
Gays can’t breed between them, we should just accept our biological limitations and adopt those who would otherwise live in orphanages instead of trying to play the medical magician because it’s ‘our human right’. It isn’t, we have no human right to conceive naturally unless we go through with the act ourselves. There are plenty of kids that need homes – why didn’t this Belgian couple adopt when it’s perfectly legal in their country? Probably one of the above reasons……
125,000 tokens of parental love.
What does it say of the Ukraine authorities that they house a baby in an orphanage when there is a biological father out there seeking to regain access to his child? How long, on average, are children resident in institutional orphanages in Ukraine and, setting this case completely aside, what do the Parliamentarians of the Ukraine do about it?
Gays can’t breed between them, we should just accept our biological limitations and adopt those who would otherwise live in orphanages instead of trying to play the medical magician because it’s ‘our human right’ … why didn’t this Belgian couple adopt when it’s perfectly legal in their country?
I have to say I completely agree with you there.