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Research finds straight men are happy to kiss

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  1. Alison Dilly 5 Jan 2011, 11:31am

    They may be happy to kiss, but are they any good at it?!

  2. Very good from his results, but I do not think that we are seeing the last of homophobia at all.

    Hate crime is mainly perpetrated by the young whom you would think would be more accepting!

    Straight men love the jokey side of things, but if they had a hint of it meaning anything from one them other than fun they would freak out.

    We still have a long way to go, lets not be niave here.

  3. not convinced at all….this was ‘straight’ kissing…..did he ask if they would kiss a gay man?

  4. The majority of abuse I and my girlfriend have got has been from young people – ie those from 13 to 25 or so. I actually think it’s INCREASING not decreasing. The attitude of some (note – SOME) young people seems quite ‘backward’ compared to a decade or so ago. I think for some of them it’s a mixture of ignorance and trying to be ‘cool’. Look at all the homophobic comments on sites like Youtube to see where they get their ideas from.

    I also think that for some straight people saying you don’t mind kissing someone of the same sex is a sign that you’re not gay and another way to emphasise just how straight you are.

  5. In a climate were the word “Gay” is being used by young people to signify any thing which is lame and naff . . . I do not think this points to a reduction in homophobia.

  6. Only French ones!

    I generally found straight people didnt really have a problem with the idea of gay sex, or even general affectionate behaviour, but most found the idea of two men snogging to be really ‘yucky’.

    I think it’s the attachment that it is not so much the act but the actual emotional bond between the men that somehow hits home more.

    That said, I find snogging in public by anyone pretty repellent anyway.

  7. I think what this research probably points to is the selective homophobia of heterosexuals, i. e how in one context they can be gay affirmative; and then in another context show gross insensitivity and intolerance to LGBT people.

    I think the recent BBC Elton-Baby report is a good example of “Institutional Selective Homophobia”, in light of other reports on LGBT issues which have appeared progay.

    More research I think is needed into why some heterosexuals can behaviour in a “Schzoid” manner in relation to homosexuality and LGBT issues.

  8. As for me here in Canada, I distinctly remember training for my Red Cross Bronze Medallion in swimming.

    My sexuality was an open secret and frankly I never expected straight guys to befriend me, although I’ve always had straight friends.

    On one occasion when we were practicing artificial resuscitation, our trainer paired me off with one of the most virile and handsome guy on the team. When it came time for him to breath into my mouth, I tried to play dead, but his technique slowly turned into the kind of tender juicy kiss – right there on the side of the pool – that I had only experienced with a gay guy. Dee-lightful!!

    But after that, we kept our distance and I began seeing him as a regular guy and not an ‘adorable hunk’.

    So I do agree with JohnK that straight guys can be of two minds with regards to us ‘gifted people’.

    Also, Eric Anderson’ research may have an element of truth in it, although his study group is rather limited.

  9. kissing is not really an anglosaxon thing anyway (unless drunk) – in some european countries men kiss more frequently in public – as a greeting – maybe not on the lips but contact habits are different across coountries and not just across sexualities

    nice to know the next generation is more open – but the ultimate test is not a kiss but perhaps how straights react to people thinking they are gay – what it really challenges is that being straight needs more definition that just the manly-feminine stereo-type – or that boundaries are blurring as they perhaps once were

  10. ‘Just for a laugh’
    Right, yes, ok then, and I came down with the last shower as well.

  11. Men have been kissing each other for years as a laugh and this survey proves nothing.

    I have met loads of homophobic guys who would be happy to kiss another guy for a laugh.

  12. Jupiterray 5 Jan 2011, 5:54pm

    Don’t believe the hype. We may be more visible but the hatred and violence is simmering not that far below the surface. That shouldn’t mean we should go back in the closet. We should be more visible and in their faces even provoking a reaction. However, before commencing on this course of action learn some self-defense moves. Buy yourself a Punchbag and learn how to beat the living daylights out of the scum. Everything is not fine and dandy in the real world. Sure, some attitudes may be changing but from my vantage point things are getting worse. Fight back. Black their eyes, bloody their noses and beat some respect out of them.

  13. darkmoonman 5 Jan 2011, 5:55pm

    As much as I’d like to see homophobia decreasing, I don’t believe Mr. Anderson’s experiment has proven it by having young men jokingly kiss each other. Men have been cross-dressing as a joke for decades, and that certainly doesn’t prove that men in general are comfortable with transvestites.

  14. Greg Ebdon 5 Jan 2011, 6:06pm

    This doesn’t prove a lot – the sample is students at the University of Bath – quite an affluent, white, middle class uni. Mature, white, middle-class 18-25 year olds are in my experience one of the most accepting demographics, and also that in which a new trend towards hugging and other physical contact as a much more appropriate and frequent form of greeting for friends of the same and mixed genders, particularly men. Men hugging male friends (and, maybe coincidentally, tolerance of LGBT people and viewpoints) is much more incident in this demographic than, say, working-class inner-city chavs in the 13-18 range.

  15. de Villiers 5 Jan 2011, 7:37pm

    In France and Italy, it is common for men who are friends to kiss each other when greeting – but only on the cheeks. I have never heard of heterosexual men greeting each other by kissing on the lips.

  16. Not convinced. Whoever it was who said that the idea of two straight guys kissing was fine so long as it didn’t mean anything was spot on. Straight friends of mine prat around with each other, they’ll even drag up, but they aren’t always comfortable with a gay guy around them.

    On the other hand, I have noticed a huge increase in the straight guys that leave kisses at the end of their FB messages to other straight men. To me, that is more significant because that really does imply they are more comfortable. After all, everyone can see that message – if you were worried someone would think you were gay, you surely wouldn’t do it. There is clearly affection in an x – it’s not for shock value like a drunken smacker.

  17. You see many girls out and about that walk arm in arm, and kiss each other goodbye, but they are never accused of being lesbians, yet if straight men were to do the same, they would be immediately branded.

    Penny for your thoughts on that one?

  18. Not totally convinced by the research but it certainly would be odd to imagine straight guys “kissing” even as a joke not too long ago… personally I defintely think it’s dead easy to talk to nephews and nieces in their 20s about being gay , quite easy to talk to sisters and brothers in their 40s and 50s about it but virtually impossible to talk to aunts and uncles etc in the 70s….

    Yes, I think acceptance of someone being gay is on the up ….this doesn’t surprise me..

  19. “the UK is “near the end of homophobia being acceptable for youth in the UK”.”

    Really?

    Try telling that to just about every gay kid in school. They’ll be interested in hearing that the bullying that they are experiencing isn’t homophobia based.

  20. oh, come on! I won’t kiss a girl, does this mean I am a woman hater? Of course not, so why would a man be homophobic for not wanting to kiss another man?

  21. Spanner, for my penny’s worth it really bothers me when people say “ACCUSED of being gay/lesbian” as if being gay or lesbian is a crime or misbehaviour.

  22. radical53 6 Jan 2011, 1:01am

    This is old news indeed. I have been kissed by more straight men, than gay men. have most of my life. I have never thought that it is wrong or different. At last life is normal for all, no more barriers.

  23. Homophobia really is declining dramatically with youth in the western world in my experience, living in south london, at university in Portsmouth, no one cares at all at uni and 6thform as soon as maturity is reached, dating younger guys, most came out before me and being gay has made them more popular by both sexes than both, also about the use of “gay” being used to cuss, a Southpark episode actually describes perfectly how its not referring to homosexuality in any way, gay youth will say that things are gay, are they cussing themselves? no. The main homophobic challenge is coming from Christian african / muslim countries… even like singapore who are pushing anti-gay message globally.

  24. Its just another step along. As a str8 guy with a lot of gay friends- primarily political, I learned quite a few years ago to hug gay people, there is nothing to it and its a sign of respect and acceptance and emotional but not physical love.

    And there are 3-4 guys where when we meet, the hug includes a light kiss on the cheek or neck for both of us.

    And I think the first step was with a lesbian friend about 3 years ago – in front of my wife. You should have seen the look on the wifes face – it was wierd.

    havent graduated to lip to lip / tongue swapping as yet. Though I suspect a quick kiss on the lips is no prob, just I wont be the initiator

    Again its all about respect.

    Cheers to the kids. if you want to see them in action, go to you tube and search on gay chicken kissing

  25. Ha! Had they tried this survey where I live (a very lower-class, “chav” area) there would be drastically different results.

    There certainly is not a shortage of homophobia where I live, and saying “the UK is ‘near the end of homophobia being acceptable for youth in the UK'” is almost laughable.

  26. Jock S. Trap 6 Jan 2011, 9:13am

    Truth is only those completely at ease with their sexuality except others for theirs.

    I have many straight friends who have no problem kissing me and vice versa, even on the lips. They/I know it won’t go any further and it’s not even thought of. They love gay pubs, clubs and are truely at ease being around gay guys. No may be said a few times but with advantage of few problems with fights etc, I guess a proper relaxed night/party is appealing.

    You know their straight and that’s it.

    It’s the ones who constantly have to act up to prove their ‘straight’ and get agressive over other men being gay that you just have to wonder about. Those that just can’t stop making an issue out of it and try to look all controversial when they ‘secretly’ visit PinkNews and probably the odd rent boy sites.

  27. “It’s the ones who constantly have to act up to prove their ‘straight’ and get agressive over other men being gay that you just have to wonder about.”

    Absolutely!

  28. An Cat Dubh 6 Jan 2011, 9:52am

    I’d like to hear about the ethnic breakdown of this research.

  29. Whether or not homophobia ‘is in rapid retreat’ among the young, these findings are not evidence for it. Young straight men kissing ‘for shock value’ or ‘a joke’ is arguably evidence for the opposite, or for stasis.
    There is evidence that homophobia is greater among older age groups, but it is not a simple picture – open violence and abuse is likelier from younger people. Sad to say, I think it also has something to do with social class and ethnicity, with working class and non-European origins being more correlated with homophobia.
    Spanner’s observation that women who express mutual affection in public are much less likely to attract homophobic abuse than men is, I think, down to plain old sexism – women still tend not to be seen as sexual initiators, but simply as objects of male interest (or indifference). However, my hunch is that tolerant responses to women kissing and holding hands in public is in decline as greater sex equality is achieved and women are more perceived as sexually autonomous. Swings and roundabouts!

  30. They may be happy to kiss, but are they any good at it?!

    sitting here with a stinking cold and this made me laugh out loud, thanks Alison, I needed a smile today

  31. Vision of paradise: Sandwished between Gyllenhaal and Ledger.

  32. Doesn’t mean that they are gay. Someone actually got paid to do this research, what a waste of money.

  33. I went to India back in 2009 and one of the strangest sights walking the streets was that of men holding hands as a sign of platonic affection. I tried to bring the habit back to the UK for it to catch on, but needless to say, it failed…

  34. straight men should never kiss gay men, they could become gay. But women can kiss other women, they’re all lesbians in a way.

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