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Vatican dignitary says gay marriage is ‘like decaffinated coffee’

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  1. How on earth would an unmarried celibate person know the difference between same-sex & opposite-sex marriage?

  2. Decaffinated? As in healthier and less nerve-jangling??

  3. Julian Morrison 7 Sep 2010, 4:51pm

    Well, it’s true, babies do keep you awake all night.

  4. This dignitary is just plain silly. As said before me – decaff is healthier and doesn’t keep you awake.

  5. Dave North 7 Sep 2010, 5:25pm

    Oh how I just love decaff.

    Yum Yum.

    Silly old fool.

  6. Chris Vogel 7 Sep 2010, 5:31pm

    …and Roman Catholic religion is like swamp water.

  7. He must be suffering high blood pressure from all the fully caffinated marriages he’s been performing.
    Still, sending out a soundbite to inform us that gay marriage is the healthier option is mighty magnaminous for a Vatican honcho!

  8. Wait is this a priest? One of the guys not allowed to marry? The voice of inexperience, who has no basis of comparison? I should worry about what HE has to say, pontificating as he does from his wealth of INexperience.

    HA! It is to laugh.

  9. I have never had a coffee in my life, ordinary or de-caff; the smell puts me off; but that is just me; it would not do for us all to be the same.
    I am a P.G. Tips man, myself.

    So I would not be able to make the comparison; indeed I would not even be interested in making a comment about coffee.

    Same way with this cleric.

    I had better get to the CAPTCHA now and post before I give in to temptation and use several four letter, Anglo-Saxon expletives.

  10. Commanderthor 7 Sep 2010, 7:09pm

    Says the impotent man in the robe.

  11. Ian Bower 7 Sep 2010, 7:12pm

    What a pr*ck!

  12. Having just changed to decaf tea I feel sooooo much healthier, have more energy and look a whole lot healthier. It appears that Ratsinger’s man is sending out a subliminal message that gay marriage is indeed a lot healthier.

    Still, we are more dangerous than global warming.

    And these people complain that the BBC don’t cover the catholic church positively. You couldn’t write it.

  13. I’m incensed by this – absolutely incensed. What a cliche. What a farce. Yet this is people’s lives he wished to denigrate and diminish.

    I’ve posted 227g of Fairtrade Arabica to Papal Nuncio in the UK with following cover letter.

    Archbishop Faustino Sainz Muñoz
    Apostolic Nuncio to Great Britain
    54 Parkside
    SW19 5NE

    7th September 2010

    Your Excellency.

    Re: Father Gonzalo Miranda – Regina Apostolorum University

    The recent pronouncement by Father Miranda of the Regina Apostolorum University on his current trip to Mexico leaves me absolutely incensed at his ill-considered, and indeed ill-thought out and un-informed, commentary on Mexico City’s decision to allow gay couples to get married. His description that “a gay relationship is like decaffeinated coffee, you do not wake up” is spoken out of a level of Curial arrogance and a deficiency of personal knowledge that does not ennoble the Church or enlighten the faithful but instead reduces the discourse on human sexuality to a farce. Must your spokespersons trade in cliche, hyperbole and innuendo?

    Catholic observance is falling where it was once the fabric. The Church risks irrelevance by its attempts to influence matters beyond faith and good works by its increasingly desperate attempts to intervene in matters of proper civic, public and legislative policy, of which Father Miranda is only one more recent example.

    Regarding my own existence, let me witness to something the Church cannot or will not grasp about what is natural and real.

    Being gay is real. Loving one other person of the same sex is real. The giving of oneself as a gift, everyday, for the rest of ones time on earth, to one man, is real. We are in nature and of nature. A natural capacity exists from the start in all of us, gay or straight, to love and be loved, as fitting and as natural to both as breathing or the acquiring of sight.

    I am reminded that the authority of the Magisterium relies on the constant vigilance of the learned with respect to the ceaseless enquiry into human existence.

    Your Excellency, it is time to awaken smell the coffee.

    Please find enclosed a full bodied, high-grade caffeinated Arabica Fairtrade coffee. May it awaken indeed.

    Yours sincerely,

    Encl. M&S Fairtrade Columbian coffee, 227g

  14. Dr Robin Guthrie 7 Sep 2010, 8:09pm

    “Paul Mc”

    Your words are utterly beautiful. I’m moved.

    Thank You.

  15. So this Mexican “Prince of the Church” has just told all adopted children everywhere that they are not real children, but merely substitute children. Only in the Catholic church can people get away with such outright bigotry.

    It’s contemptible.

  16. PeterinSydney 7 Sep 2010, 9:19pm

    And what about all the closeted gays who live and work in the Vatican – what are they on? Valium? Or secretly on Viagra for when they cruise the Colosseum at night?

  17. Thank you Dr Robin. Typos fixed before it went out.

  18. Father Up 7 Sep 2010, 9:41pm


  19. It’s odd what these asexual celibates say about other people’s relationships…like they are experts or something.

  20. Paul Mc #13

    I would not have bothered, lovey.

    These arrogant prats are not interested in whether you are “incensed” or not, however eloquently you phrase it.

    I shall send, now that I have the address, thanks to you, a packet of condoms and tell the daft tunc (just re-arrange the letters, pet) to get the tatty-watter off his chest (the potaoto water off his chest)..get himself laid..because that is what he is short of, as are they all, the dysfunctional bastards, a good shag.


  21. Homosexuality is unnatural and two men or two women can’t get married, the reason this is a fact, is that marriage – one man joined to one woman- is a natural institution founded not by man but by the natural law made by our creator. No legislation can ever make “homosexual marriage” valid. Stop being selfish and recognize that marriage is the foundation of society -for society can not exist without the creation of new life by the love of a husband and wife.

  22. Yeah ok, Sean, any sort of partnership that doesnt result in reproduction is selfish and harmful – seeing as the planet really needs a population boom right now. I vote that the elderly and the infertile should be banned from marriage too!

    And as for the decaf thing; well he shot himself in the foot there because decaffeinated coffee exists and has a wide market.

  23. #21
    What utter crap.

  24. Dr Robin Guthrie 8 Sep 2010, 8:55am


    You are clearly a d!ck.

  25. @21:
    Homosexuality is natural and two men or two women can get married in several countries already, the reason this is a fact, is that marriage is a civil institution founded in law.
    Equality legislation makes “homosexual marriage” valid.
    Stop being a selfish religious tyrant Sean and recognize that marriage equality is the foundation of society for all of us in the 21st Century.

  26. OMAR KUDDUS GayasylumUK 8 Sep 2010, 1:33pm

    Is that why though it constantly criticises homosexuality it condones it within their own ranks, as history has proved.
    They must order a lot of decaff!!

  27. Disregard Sean’s comments. He is simply trolling to provoke a reaction. He does not even believe the diatribe himself that he dares to write.

  28. It’s a little rich for a guy named Miranda, who habitually dresses in a frock to winge about the lack of a referendum … when’s the last time the Vatican allowed a referendum?????????

  29. more homophobic crap – decaff is healthier as mentioned earlier
    it’s pathetic and worse that this idiot bases his garbage on a book which is unnatural unlike LBG folk! the book is also mistranslated etc, I bet this priest has never condemned real evils either

  30. ooer missus 8 Sep 2010, 4:00pm

    The Vatican has a vested interest in discouraging the acceptance of happy healthy committed relationships between gay men. How else will they find men willing to commit to being celibate (in theory at least) as a condition of their employment with the church? In other words they will find it even harder to recruit priests; they wont need to flee to the church as a cover for not being interested in women.

  31. And I think condoms should be compulsary for left-footers, there are far too many of these abominations polluting my planet.

  32. Does the Vatican put its policies up for a vote among its parishioners? Until they do, they have no standing to comment on what any other political entity deems proper.

  33. “No legislation can ever make “homosexual marriage” valid”

    Sorry, Sean, but a layer you are most certainly not. The law changes in Holland, SA, Canada, Sweden, etc, is all that’s needed to make it ‘valid’, thanks. But then again you lost a rational argument when you used the term “natural” and “creator” – words normally used by the stupid in lieu of rationale.

    Did you ever think of taking your head out of your arse and reading the Dummies Guide to Law? No?

  34. #30

    Exactly so and that has always been the case.

    What else could a young homosexual do, in earlier times, but flee to the church and make a career out of that without questions being raised as to “Why are you not married yet..?” – at 30 something, in civvy street..they must think we are stupid.

    I detest religions and I certainly detest my own, Catholicism.
    I feel the need to burn a cathedral to ash; sadly SALFORD’s is all marble…. grrrrr.



  35. Decaf is an abomination! Though it’s true that decaf is healthier, much in the same way that gay men tend to be more fit than our heterosexual brothers…

    I think some other drink would be a far more appropriate analogy, though. Maybe we’re like Guinness — strong, easy to swallow, and irrationally disliked by people who obviously have no taste…

    But, one of these days, the church will either wake up and join the rest of us in supporting equality, or it will go the way of the cults of the ancient polytheistic religions.

  36. Well, Christianity is like sewage sludge polluting and clogging the brain, you are no longer able to think for yourself.

  37. The middle eastern slime churches of whatever variety will never accept gay people until it becomes financially profitable for them to do so. IE, when more people put money in the collection plate because they do accept gay people. Nothing else can convince them because you cannot convince someone who already knows they are lying that they are in fact lying. They know very well where Jesus of Nazareth would have stood on the issue, but to admit it would cost them a lot of idiots writing checks. Just like the ordination of women, the biggest reason the romans are not is because of how many converts they gained when the Episcopalians started. There are more backward racist bigot Xtian idiots who write checks so that is the opinion they run with even when they know it is not correct even according to their own history.

    Beyond all that, what is a roman priest but an imitation person living an imitation life, he must have been looking in the mirror and thought he was talking about someone else.

  38. @PaulMc,good luck with that,sincerely.But it’ll do diddly-squat I fear.The catholic sect will never alter it’s homophobic,bigoted,draconian views.But,don’t forget to be at the nearest demo’ when that paedophile protecting ratzinger comes to the UK.

  39. Well, both caffeinated and decaffeinated coffee are coffee. And both are legal, and both are sold, and people are free to choose.

    So the analogy isn’t a bad one. What’s odd is Father Miranda’s conclusion that only one of them is legitimate and deserving of being called “coffee.”

    He’s wrong about that.

    And he’s wrong about the love and commitment of gay couples. We’re very much “awake”, thank you very much.

    What a boring world this would be if we were all alike.

  40. “I’ll have a cup of ‘Joe’ please.”

  41. Really ? That’s a Catholic priest talking ? WOW !! What a rhetoric !! It’s just like those stand-up acts Jerry Seinfeld did in the end of every Seinfeld episode:
    “You know what I don’t understand ? Decaffinated coffee. *laughs* You come into a diner and you ask for a coffee. And then the waitress asks if you want a caffinated or a decaffinated coffee ! *laughs* I mean, who really drinks decaffinated coffee ? When I am having coffee, I want to be caffinated. It’s like gay marriage. *laughs* Who would want to marry a person of the same sex ? Who would want to be married to any person anyway ? *laughs*” And then everyone applauds and the episode ends.

  42. Mr. Jimmy 9 Sep 2010, 3:20pm

    My take of the catholic church is quite simple … Hate the sin (the hierarchy), love the sinner (the parishioners.) I proudly admit that some of my best friends are catholic. I’m open minded about these matters.

  43. All this hate and distrust against gays and women from men who earn their living wearing frocks!

  44. Gay marriage is like de-caf-cof eh? And this from an organisation which says it treasures children but allows its clergy to get away with sadism and rape of kiddies AND accuses gays of being unfit to foster children? Give me the full caffine; I think I need it!!!!;-)

  45. “gay marriage is like decafinated coffee.”

    Well the words of the catholic church are defined by the guy who wrote …………

    Tell a lie often enough and outrageous enough, and it will be seen as the truth.

    The only difference is almost everything the church say is an outrageous lie.

    BTW, who said those words. Hint – he committed suicide after killing his wife and 6 children when the Russians were beating on the door to his bunker.

    He also got hitler elected. And yes he was catholic, as was hitler. Whose speeches about moral values and christian truths are preserved in a book in the Oxford univ. Library. but you can google most of it.

    His last name began with G.

  46. OMAR KUDDUS 13 Sep 2010, 3:05am

    Just wish that someone from the Vatican would see the link below, and then say that gay loving couples who “marry” are “decaffeinated”.!
    Christian & Oliver- Halo

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