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More gay men being forced into marriage by their families

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  1. The cancer of religion rears its disgusting, ugly head again.

    This rise is clearly linked to the religious cults.

  2. StephenC, absolutely right about that! What I find ironic is the apparent, fake concern by Featherstone when she says that forced marriages cannot be tolerated if a person is gay, yet she opposes same-sex marriage as do all in her party as well as Labour.

  3. I think its worth remembering that the problem is even more widespread than forced marriage due to strong conservative religious beliefs. Some people are homophobic without being religious to the point of forcing their grown-up children into marriage, threatening things such as cutting them out of their will or disownment etc if they refuse.

  4. “Some people are homophobic without being religious to the point of forcing their grown-up children into marriage, threatening things such as cutting them out of their will or disownment etc if they refuse.”

    Perhaps these situation exists.

    But I think it is safe to say that the VAST majority of forced marriages is because of the toxic influence of religious cults like islam, hinduism etc.

    on a side note – isn’t it amusing that Britain’s so-called ‘equality’ ministers do not believe in equality for gay people – they think that we should be satisfied with civil partnership apartheid solely because we are gay.

  5. This is reprehensible. I don’t give a damn what relgion supports/encourages this–or no religion at all! It is wrong to force someone into marriage–ANY marriage! You can bet for every victim that gets up the courage to report this, there are dozens who dare not say anything for fear of their lives.

    I just thank the Goddess that although my late mother had some pretty big issues with homophobia, she got over them eventually, attended our wedding, and accepted my spouse fully as her daughter-in-law. However she felt about my lesbianism, however, NEVER would she EVER have forced me into marriage! She summed it up beautifully when I asked her about her change of mind: “I donj’t think I have very much time left–two or three years at most. When I die I want to die knowing that you are happy and if marriage to a woman will make you happy then so be it. I don’t have a problem with it. I just want you to be happy, honey.” Would that ALL parents could understand this simple truth! We ALL wwant to be happy and should be allowed to persue happiness however it defines itself for it as long as we harm no one it its persuit.

    I am sure that some of these parents truly love their children and want what is best for them, but marriage to someone with whom you are not in love (or even attracted to in the case of gays and lesbians) is NEVER right. It only breeds unhappiness and in many of these cultures the spouse who is the one not loved or who holds no attraction for the other spouse WILL pick up on it and make the other spouse’s life a living hell. Why do that to your child?

    I hope one day the world will evolve to where parents will not feel a need to force their children into unions which might make THEM happy but leave the child to a lifetime of misery and possibly abuse.

  6. Jock S. Trap 1 Jul 2010, 3:51pm

    I think it is safe to assume that if it wasn’t for religion and the hatred it spews it would be heterosexuality that would become a minority as I believe most people if they were true to themselves are at the very least bisexual!

    The day religion is just a thing read in history books is the day humanity truly progresses!

  7. Jennifer Hynes 1 Jul 2010, 4:37pm

    Robert, can you provide proof that Featherstone opposes same sex marriage? All she seems opposed to, and this following the government line, is the use of religious words, music or symbolism in civil partnerships AND secular weddings. She was absent for the vote on 19th March 2007, the Equality Act (Sexual Orientation) regulations. She scores a modest but emphatic 64% on agreement between herself and the policy outlined at the Public Whip.

    Apart from that, it is not a simple black and white issue; religion is to blame. It is not. It is cultural practices and prejudices picked up from colonial legislation that is to blame. Religion is a convenient enemy to fall back on when you want to bury your head in the sand and not take a stand against what is really happening. Hiding behind the religious argument merely salves your conscience and provides cover for the real enemy within.

    Add to that the failure of multiculturalism as a cohesive and integrative policy and what we have is a clear and present distortion of simple human rights. When a culture at large demands certain human rights are inalienable, then a minority that clings to traditional beliefs within that culture will, of necessity, do its dirty work out of the public eye.

    This is a practically easy task for traditionalist Muslim communities to achieve, due to their relative isolation and secretiveness within our own society. Largely due to the multicultural pandering of the last decade or so.

    If you allow ghettoisation on the scale that Labour have, this is what happens. Successful integration is imperative if forced marriages, intolerant violence, female genital mutilation, and the risk of the homegrown terrorist are to be avoided. Under present conditions, immigration legislation allows for these things to be kept intact in largely inward looking communities.

    This country needs to get off its guilt-ridden colonial haysack, and stop trying to appease stagnant cultural monoliths within its own borders, and make this country appealing to those who value core human rights values and civil liberties, rather than those who seek to enforce barbarism within, and to a certain extent, without, their communities.

  8. Robert, I can assure you that the LibDems are by no means “all” against equal marriage. Nick Clegg has quite explicitly and publically said that the civil institution of marriage should *not* differ on the basis of the gender(s) of those involved. That’s not the kind of thing a party leader can say with massive opposition within their party, even if there’s no active policy supporting it.

    (Disclaimer: I’m a LibDem, but I wasn’t at the time Nick made that statement)

  9. #7 – “…….religion is to blame. It is not. It is cultural practices and prejudices picked up from colonial legislation that is to blame” – YAWN. That is a joke isn’t it? If not, tell that to the men and women from pakistan, india and bangladesh who are forced into marriage because their parents believe and use islam or hinduism to control their families. It has nothing to do with colonialism, but has everything to do with their belief system – islam and hinduism, which were not installed by colonialism. You’ll be telling us next the caste system in India is down to the colonies too. Oh please.

    Just another case of religiously educated, religiously bigoted and religiously homophobic Asians who can’t think further than their religious manuscripts that they have been brainwashed with, who then enclose THEMSELVES in ghettos because they don’t want to give up on their traditions. There have been two stories in the last week that highlight this. The jewish gay group, and the muslim gay group. Both oxymorons, who take great offence when an attempt is made to de-ghettoise them.

  10. Forced marriages are just plain wrong. Ask Prince Edward. ooh er.

  11. Why the HELL do we have to pay for a Forced Marriage Unit? It’s not our fault and it’s not our responsibility. These stupid religious organisations should fund it. I’m sick of my taxes being spent on Muslims when society in general should benefit from it.

  12. Jennifer Hynes – you should stand for Parliament – you speak so much sense and are so in tune with popular opinion you should be representing us where it counts!

  13. de Villiers 2 Jul 2010, 12:23am

    > This country needs to get off its guilt-ridden colonial haysack, and stop trying to appease stagnant cultural monoliths within its own borders, and make this country appealing to those who value core human rights values and civil liberties, rather than those who seek to enforce barbarism within, and to a certain extent, without, their communities.

    I agree with this absolutely but it is not easy. In France there is the strict laïcité or secularity and the idea that a person is French first and that religion comes second.

    Still, there are the same problems of integration in France as in the UK.

  14. Lynne Featherstone is one of the biggest LGBT rights supporters in parliament Robert.

  15. “Lynne Featherstone is one of the biggest LGBT rights supporters in parliament”

    Good. Now she must prove it.

    What is she doing to allow same sex couples access to the legal contract of civil marriage?

  16. Religion is a strong reinforcement to these coerced marriages but the root of them is traditional (and poor and premodern) cultures where marriage is an obligation created by family honour and economic need – not a source of romantic and sexual fulfilment. These have been the chief motives for marriage throughout history (including in the West until very recently). In Ancient Greece it was common to ridicule married couples who were actually in love. It goes without saying that forced/highly pressurised marriage is also inevitably associated with extreme sexism and subordination of women. Stories like this one will be repeated until certain religious and ethnic groups (or certain groups within them) learn to see marriage as a partnership of equals who just love each other and want to share life together. Sorry if that’s neocolonial condescension (and I’m not saying all Western people have got it yet).

  17. the menstruator 2 Jul 2010, 11:16am

    it’s a an utter ridiculous thought that males are forced to do anything, gay or not. they won’t even pay child support and that’s the law… but they’ll get married to a woman? In the face of lesbians being correctively raped, forced into marriage for a female, which includes nightly rapes, seems silly to worry about some men fresh from the dude parade being forced to do anything. Probably because it’s impossible. You can’t force a male to do anything unless he’s in prison. While I do agree that marriage is prison, I don’t believe any male can be forced into it.

  18. Jennnifer and Abi, if Featherstone is so supportive of LGBT rights, then why isn’t she publicly supporting civil marriage equality for those of us who want it? Why isn’t Cameron for that matter? The Tory party just like Labour hasn’t even had a discussion about it and the only time its mentioned is when people like us question them. Cameron of course said he’d “consider” it as a ploy to gain more gay votes, but we all know that was code for NO. Pure cowardice. Remaining silent on this issue gives consent to retain the ban on marriage for gay people. Equally appalling is the fact that there are many gay people who believe the ban should remain. Why should those of us who want to marry be forced to have a civil partnership that we don’t want to legalise our relationship? I and many others don’t want to be treated differently which is what CPs do by the very label. Its equally appalling that some of our own gay people won’t support our struggle to get married, the last hurdle for full equality and integration. Why should we be forced to leave our own country to marry only to be slapped in the face upon return and told that our marriages are not marriages but civil partnerships when none of us have even contracted them? Marriage certificates do not contain any reference to civil partnerships anywhere in this world and never will. Until that changes, the two will be diametrically different, a two-tier system. How can anyone equate a separate system for gays as equal? Nine countries have now proved how unequal they are, they can’t all be wrong, a trend that will continue.

    Emma, I too voted for Nick Clegg and am fully aware of his full support for civil marriage equality. So where is he now? Why hasn’t he raised the issue with Cameron? I think I know the answer to that. He’s capitulated and made concessions to Cameron, one of which must be to never bring the issue of marriage equality to the table in return for political gain.

  19. Jock S. Trap 2 Jul 2010, 12:53pm

    Fact 1: Prejudice comes from religions, past and present.

    Fact 2: If we didn’t have religion we wouldn’t have people telling us we are wrong! ie Prejudice Won’t exsist. People being who they are would be acceptable as the ‘norm’ (whatever that is)

    Fact 3: Religion sucks!

    The quicker people see it the best people will become!

  20. This is more than just religion, it’s the whole culture issue. Go on Gaydar and if you see anyone claiming to be bisexual, 9 times out of 10, they are Southern Asian.

    Essentially, they are gay men, but have been forced into marriage by their families, otherwise they would be completely ostracised, so they fool themselves into thinking they are bisexual because they have to do the socially acceptable job and have a wife and children, along with all the accompanying extended family image and dowry etc.

    I know a young 19yo Indian gay lad that was totally up for the whole gay thing, but 4 years on, he has dismissed it all, got a girlfriend and claims to be “bi”. The fact that he is still up at Heaven every Saturday night proves that you can’t bury human nature.

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