“But homophobia, gay stereotypes, anti-gay humour and backchat — unlike racism and sexism — has become acceptable. It isn’t”
Would he ever go f*** himself, the fact of the matter is the camp t**ts inhabit every bar I go into, while I think men should be men Im quite happy to share the space with the camp fairies but they should be mocked, they make a mockery of blokes like me who want to be gay and get on with life…..
Peter Tatchell lovers do your worse to me!
Chutney you’re boring and probably fat.
Lesbian Vampire Killers – worst film of last year.
oop’s I wonder who started the back lash?
I think you all should give Matt Horne a break. I didn’t really care for his past performances, but he was great as Jon Moss in Worried about the Boy. The movie was wonderful and there was nothing homophobic about it. So if he did things that were offensive in the past, he’s redeemed himself.
Really? I thought he was disappointing as Jon Moss. I felt he didnt come across as authentic, he hadnt even changed his accent. (and he is nowhere sexy enough to play Jon Moss!!)
I definitely agree he wasn’t as physically attractive as Jon and was a little too old to be him at the time. But I thought he got the character down well. I’m not sure what accent you are referring to. Aren’t both Mathew and Jon from London? Maybe I’m not up on the subtleties of accents. I thought Mathew did well although the part was underwritten. They concentrated more on Kirk Brandon. So I thought he did well with what he had to work with. But I don’t personally know Jon that well so maybe it’s not authentic if you know him. I just know what I have read in the press.
I totally agree with ChutneyFerret, er, sorry, Bear. ;)
It is only because the mincing queens are prominent and mouthy that straights assume all gays are like that. If they want to stand under a spotlight, don’t bloody moan when people take the piss out of you. Frankly, all this crap about “Would you treat blacks or Asians like that?” gets on my nerves. Personally, I do. The trouble is everyone’s a fcuking hypocrite, they want to be seen as different, have their own identities and communities, yet as soon as anyone from outside that clique points it out, they are admonished for it. If you don’t want to get homophobic abuse, fade into the crowd and become an “ordinary person” like everyone apparently wants. If you are black and start going on about ‘yo bredren’ and ‘black power’, then equally, if you want to intentionally segregate yourself, don’t complain when others treat you by the same yardstick.
You can’t have it both ways.
So Chutney Bear – who has the most balls ? Big hairy blokes or the camp fairies? As I recall it was the camp fairies, drag queens and other very ballsy types who started the Stonewall riots all those years ago and started the whole progression of events and political activism that has resulted in the freedom to have a website like this where we can air our views. We will never all agree and I have never felt the desire to don a frock but please don’t diss the camp queens who showed such remarkable bravery in helping us get to where we now are.
camp people also want to get on with life
plus homophobes attack as they are homophobes – it doesn’t matter how straight-acting you are to them
Lol at the self loathing. I assume robyn and chutney are fat, old men who feel disillusioned with the “gay scene” and thus have turned to bitterly loathing other gay men. Now, must older gay men, fat or not have no problem with getting older but I assume chutney and robyn were closeted for much longer than most and therefore never got to experience a gay adolescence, which is important for determining how “hateful” of “mincing queens” a “bloke” is likely to become. They’re also MUCH LESS LIKELY to have positive views on bi or trans people. Any of this ring a bell? It’s because all you self haters have the same story. Enjoy your bitterness lol
Ha! Here we go with the camp-bashers again. There’s nothing more hilarious than a GAY man whinging about camp people not being “normal”. Pro-tip: you wanna be “normal” so badly, quit shagging men.
I love camp types. They’re one of the most hated groups of people in our whole society (even among fellow gays) and yet they don’t feel the need to hide who they are. As such, they are by far the most genuine, brave and positive of all of our community. I have great respect for them.
It’s so funny how these pathetic gay “blokes” trip over themselves to prove how manly and laddish they are, and then accuse the camp guys of being false and insecure! Me thinks the ladies doth protest too much. ;)
You worthless buggers make a mockery of genuine, honest people who just want to get on with their lives. It must hurt so bad that the BNP would never let you join because you’re queer. Why don’t you just try being normal?
J: What is this “self-loathing” and “bitterness” crap? Why is it always assumed just because I don’t like blithering little fcukwits like you that I don’t like myself either? I am neither self-loathing, fat, or particularly old. I have always been disillusioned with the gay scene, as I have found most gay men to be selfish, self-centred, vain and egotistical. I don’t “hate” anyone, but I certainly have no liking for them either, so in answer to Pumpkin’s comment, I am “normal”, because I haven’t had sex with anyone in a very long time. That by gay standards though makes me very “abnormal”. I am gay, but that doesn’t mean I have to sleep with anyone.
It’s obvious that neither of you read or understood my comment, because I didn’t attack camp guys for what they are, I simply said they like to be that way and are the visible face of a much larger gay society. Those that don’t mince about shouting their mouths off just never get noticed. A case of a minority of a minority representing the majority of a minority, if you catch my drift.
“I am “normal”, because I haven’t had sex with anyone in a very long time. That by gay standards though makes me very “abnormal”. I am gay, but that doesn’t mean I have to sleep with anyone.”
What a fcuking ridiculous statement to make. Issues, anyone? So, let me get this right, by “abstaining” from gay sex, you become “normal”? LOL! What are you, a priest???????
Rob N, its obvious you’re anything but normal, and its nothing do do with what sex you’re depriving yourself of. I sure hope you don’t have a partner, or else if I were you I’d be wondering where he gets his kicks from if you want to prance about all high and mighty being and aggressive frigid tosser so you can feel “normal”.
Is this fcuking douche for real, folks??????
There is room for all sorts in a Gay World! Personally I think the camp characters of old did us very little favours but if you watch John Inman, he always seems the most sensible person in the store(!) HOWEVER, given Matthew Horne’s Catherine Tate years and Gavin and Stacey, I doubt he is anti gay!
Focus. Obviously the self-loathing types need the same attention as everyone else, but we must focus on our civil rights. We’ll get there in the end, even with such obstacles in our own community.
Actually I think ‘camp’ men aren’t the most hated because people can label them and place them in the ‘assumed’ box. It’s why this stereotype is mostly used for entertainment. I guess in some it’s a ‘comfort’ zone thing. You’ll find it’s the men that act, talk and go along with the ‘norm’ (whatever that is) just like anybody else that are the most loathed because they threaten some heteros limited knowledge and ideas of a stereotype. They don’t want to think of gay men being just like them and that scares them because then some have to feel they need to question themselves.
What a pity, eh?
As for this story I think some ‘sensitive’ types are in danger of alienating the gay community finding fault with anything they can find.
Dean: “So, let me get this right, by “abstaining” from gay sex, you become “normal”? LOL! What are you, a priest?”
I was just paraphrasing Pumpkin Pie: “Pro-tip: you wanna be “normal” so badly, quit shagging men.” – He used the term Normal, not me.
I merely pointed out I became celibate of my own choice ages back, simply because I think all gay men are just a bunch of selfish users, so I’d rather not bother even getting involved. Most guys just want a shag and then run, those that stick around are either wanting something, money, security or some other emotional baggage, and then some people come up with this “open relationship” crap, which is the most selfish concept I’ve ever heard of. I REALLY don’t need those people.
Having seen the numerous responses on here and the general “me, me, me” attitudes of arrogant gobby c*nts like you, I can see that I got my assumption right 30 years ago, and it still hasn’t changed.
“simply because I think all gay men are just a bunch of selfish users, so I’d rather not bother even getting involved. Most guys just want a shag and then run, those that stick around are either wanting something”
A bit naive of you to think that a few damaged individuals that go to gay bars on a Saturday night is all gay people. Its not.
There are countless examples of gay couples together, not becuase of “wanting something”, but becuase they have found love, companionship and partnership. I can honestly say I’m in one such relationship. Its not “open” or “selfish”, and I have never been happier to be honest – 8 years and still going strong despite the pressures of being gay in a world that essentially doesn’t really support gay couples – and long may it last. A part of me feels sorry for those idiots you mention that runing round a bar thinking that getting a bit of “action” every weekend keeps them happy – but in reality how is that going to look when they’re 60? Sitting at the darker parts of the bar, mutton dressed as lamb, wondering why the 25 year old aren’t interested any-more, and going home to a lonely cold bed – these are an emotionally stunted minority, Rob, not all gay men.
Honestly, I really pity you if you think like this, and that’s all you can hope to elicit from others, gay or straight, if you generalise like that. And to seek an imposition of celibacy as a solution, is not only drastic, but indicative of a damaged view of ones one sexuality. I’m not being offensive, but on some level you must know I am speaking the truth here.
All joking aside, I’d recommend counselling for you, Rob. Seriously. You need to work through these issues you have that have made you chose to suppress one of the most fundamental and influential drives in a human.
will speaks some truth rob, its sad that you feel that way about gay men. you cant generalise based on bad experriences with those who havent the mental stability to maintain more self respect. a wise man can see past that, as will can, and the rest of us can. be kind to yourself, even when others cant.
Will: “A bit naive of you to think that a few damaged individuals that go to gay bars on a Saturday night is all gay people. It’s not.”
Where did i say anything about gay bars? That’s just the tip of the iceberg. I have met gay men in may ways, socially, professionally, via the Internet, friends of friends etc. I know I am generalising, and there are exceptions to the rule, but I really find those exceptions few and far between.
Let’s be honest. everyone is selfish to a certain degree, we all want something from other people; If it so happens that they give you what you give them, then that’s all well and good. You seem to be in a relationship that works for you, but don’t dismiss others that see an alternative to yours.
You seem to have difficulty in discerning the difference between “being alone” and “being lonely”. My bed is warm and cosy and I don’t have some selfish sh!t stealing all the duvet. People build up this mythical concept that their lives are incomplete without the perfect loving partner, much like naive fools think “My life would be perfect once I win the lottery” – Experience time and again proves that this is just dreaming. The reality is never that good. Relationships, people and definitely sex are a bit like giving up smoking, it seems impossible at first, but once you are out the other side you wonder why you hadn’t done it years ago. Even when I was capable of pulling cute guys, I found it empowering that I could just say no. Often it made people even more keen to want me. (As Madonna said, “Rejection is the greatest aphrodisiac”) – I seriously don’t need counselling, I am more than happy with my status quo. The most fundamental and influential drives in any animal is that of survival. It even supercedes sex; I would rather be happy and single than miserably stuck in a relationship with someone I don’t like just to keep up appearances and “do the right thing”.
“The reality is never that good. Relationships, people and definitely sex are a bit like giving up smoking, it seems impossible at first, but once you are out the other side you wonder why you hadn’t done it years ago”
No thanks, I’ll stick to having sex and a partner, cheers! Its a biological drive for humans to pair and bond, whether you choose to or not, or whether you believe it or not. That’s actually irrelevant. The drive is strong in all humans, and its there for a reason. And to think that being alone is your “survival instinct” is fcuked up is so many levels, Rob.
And there’s proof to back this up. Partnered men are half as likely to commit suicide as single men, and one third as likely as divorced men. Widowed men under 45 are nine times more likely to commit suicide as married men (Smith, Mercy, and Conn, 1988). Married people report lower levels of depression and distress, and 40% say they are very happy with their lives, compared to about 25% in single people. Partnered people were half as likely to say they were unhappy with their lives. Single men drink twice as much as married/partnered men, and one out of four say their drinking causes problems. (Miller-Tutzauer et al, 1991).
I see no benefit in giving up either sex or a partner other than to die alone – no wait, that not actually a benefit.
“miserably stuck in a relationship with someone I don’t like”
You missing the point – that’s to be in a relationship with someone you LIKE. Why on earth would you think I meant end up with someone you don’t like – that’s just a truly ridiculous thing to say!
It sounds to me you’re protesting too much on this. I suspect you’re not as solid “alone” as you say. But that’s neither here or there, you can do all you like to ignore your nature and think you’re above everyone else, but the ultimate price you will pay is loneliness or turning into a embittered old man… and listening to you rants here, the latter is already beginning to take shape. But you probably can’t see that.
But that’s your choice, and I have no issue with that. What I have an issue with is you projecting your ego-centric view of the world on everyone else without opening your eyes to reality. Your view is your view, and its not shared by the majority of gay men, whether you like that reality or not.
Will (#21), you’re wasting your time trying to reason with Rob. He has never demonstrated much in the way of understanding or broadening his perspective here before. Great that you’re trying to engage with him on a rational level, but you’re p*ssing against the wind here mate, he’ll never get what you’re trying to say to him. Its fairly clear to anyone from his repeated antagonistic and naive remarks here that he’s anything but happy in himself, as he lauds about here like we should be impressed with his nonsense.
Will: You give all these quotes about suicide etc, and frankly, I’m not at all surprised. Society forces partnerships on people. It’s not so bad for gay men, but I have so many straight mates that as soon as the are at college it’s “When you going to get a girlfriend?”, followed by “When are you going to get married?”, and later on “When are we going to get Grandchildren?”.
The pressure is immense to conform to the ‘happy family’ stereotype, and anyone who doesn’t is either ugly, fat, weird, or gay.
I also know many people, gay and straight who spend their entire lives looking for Mr or Miss Right, meanwhile missing out on the rest of their lives because they become virtually obsessed with finding a partner. No wonder they end up topping themselves when they often fail.
“Why on earth would you think I meant end up with someone you don’t like – that’s just a truly ridiculous thing to say!”
But many, many people are in unfulfilled relationships for that very reason, they would rather be in ANY kind of relationship in order to be “normal” than live alone. One example is a girl I know that gets beaten to a pulp by a thug of a partner, who she eventually faces up to, kicks out and then 3 weeks later asks him back because she can’t bear being on her own. This cycle has gone on for years.
You think I protest too much, but I think so many people have yet to really try being their own boss. You seem to think that underneath it all I am putting on an act. Yeah, I’m only human, I guess I want a shag or even just a cuddle occasionally, just like I get an urge for a cigarette, but the craving passes. I would no more sleep with a guy now than I would crack open a packet of Marlboro.
As for my egocentric attitude, that again comes with being your own boss, figuratively, and in real terms.
As far as relationships go, I AM that Mr Right*
(*What they didn’t say though, is my first name is ‘Always’) ;)
Maybe we should ask Mathew Horne to invent a selfish, gay, straight acting, internally homophobic, Tory voting character .. that will no doubt keep Rob happy that he is being fairly represented in comedy. Pity the rest of us who will find the character as stimulating as stagnant ditch water.
At Reb Keane and J, assuming you two were the bit that dribbled down your mothers legs and abortion was illegal at the time you were born, yep thats right we can all throw insults. I said I was quite happy to share the space with them and I love the way everyone ignored what I said. They did do right for us but they dont represent what I stand for, people move on, society move on….take a look at Irelands Ms Panti, a drag act she has it down to a tee, she educates people through humour and thats the way it should be done. Im a liberal, I have stood up to gay bashers and bashed them myself (does that make me a gay basher basher?) and ahve stood up for the scene queens as they like to call themselves . They bring the trouble on themselves sometimes, if society didnt have a problem at large with us being camp I wouldnt have a problem. So J and Reb Keane don those pink tutu’s on again and sling your mud…..this is the reason we get gay bashed. Incidentally I have no problem dressing in drag for a laugh for entertainment purposes….
homophobes have a problem with anyone into the same sex chutney
“I also know many people, gay and straight who spend their entire lives looking for Mr or Miss Right, meanwhile missing out on the rest of their lives because they become virtually obsessed with finding a partner.”
And I know many that live great lives that they happen to share with a partner. You seek only the negative. I’m definitely not saying that having a partner is the be all and end all, but denying yourself the possibility of a happy relationship, and the sexual contact, its ultimately defeatist and somewhat damaged. Its a sign of an emotionally stable and well developed individual that can maintain a successful relationship, either with partner, friends, family.
Still, you’re choice is your own. Rather you than me, to be honest.
I have a problem with the persons actions not what they are into sexually…there is a difference.
Will: “Its a sign of an emotionally stable and well developed individual that can maintain a successful relationship.”
I agree, and so far I have never met a gay guy I like that fits that criteria. I am not willing to spend the rest of my life searching for crocks of gold at the end of rainbows.
Rob, I knew you had issues, but dear oh dear, youre one fcuked up little puppy, arent you!!!! Celibacy??? Being alone becuase you met a few assholes??? Thinking youre “your own boss” because you’re some emotionally stunted up misanthrope??? WTF mate???? Jeffrey Dahmer had a healthier relationship with other men than you do!!!!!!!!!!!
You aint happy sunshine. That much is obvious.
“I agree, and so far I have never met a gay guy I like that fits that criteria. I am not willing to spend the rest of my life searching for crocks of gold at the end of rainbows.”
Not arguing with you there. Just think its not wise to discount the possibility. Barriers preclude change, and ultimately a chance to be happier.