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Documentary to explore coming out

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  1. Lucky lisp 30 Apr 2010, 4:34pm

    Mmmmm Ahmad…I would!

  2. Jean-Paul 1 May 2010, 6:10am

    m-m. Good. I’ll comment further after I’ve seen it.

  3. Wouldn’t it be kinda nice If they added a third guy who was from a liberal British family, middle class, 18 years old and having a very ordinary coming out where he has very little trouble and most of his friends and family accept him for who he is!! Im sure some of the audience who will watch this show will be 15-17 year old boys and girls wondering what coming out will be like and seeing some fundamentalist muslim family and some old conservative bigot from aberdeen confronting these men will give them a completely skewed idea. But I guess the first guys story would just not be good television, would it?

  4. There’s one obvious problem with this documentary… if the outing goes tits-up and the family and friends are caught on camera at the crucial moment of truth, how do you prevent that turning into a tacky “Jerry Springer” style revelation?
    You might get a very awkward response just by nature of TV cameras being there. Assuming the family haven’t been let in on the nature of the show already, they might resent the presence of cameras at an emotionally charged sensitive family heart to heart.
    It could make a bad situation worse, or conversely they might pretend they’re alright with it for the cameras only to change their mind once the director says “cut”. How do we know the response you see on camera is in any way authentic?
    I just think of all the ways in which coming out can go wrong and multiply that by 10 with the addition of a camera crew. And of course if it does go wrong, will anyone sign the release forms?
    Maybe this is why no-one’s done it outside of the Jerry Springer/ Jeremy Kyle bear pit genre before, as everyone has to be a feckless exhibitionist who’s only concern is getting on TV to make it work. And that in itself is a distorted reality.

  5. Back in 1987 there was a live ‘yoof’ TV series on Channel 4 called Network Seven which often covered topics in a shallow tabloid way. In other words really a forerunner for most TV that we see today.

    One week they had three people on who came out to their friends live on the show. All done in that rushed and arrogant ‘we’ve only got five minutes for this’ way. It felt exploitative, especially as one didn’t get a good reaction.

    If you want to see what Network Seven was like there’s a different clip here:

    A show about coming out is great. The trouble is these days TV companies can’t resist exploiting vulnerable people. They simply must be there at the moment when the family is told and with no regard for whether cameras being there will make the person’s life worse longterm. For example if the family feel they have been tricked into appearing on some other pretence and maybe feel humiliated and embarrassed.

  6. Justin Hafey 3 May 2010, 8:29am

    Yeah, when I did the ‘coming out’ thing with my parents, i was 22, and it took months of terror to do. When i told them, their response was, ‘We kinda figured that’. Of course, that hasn’t changed the fact that we have never spoken of it again, not that they don’t accept it. They just grew up in 50’s Rural Australia, and in a society that had two faiths, Catholic and Anglican, there was little room for reality. We have an awesome relationship now. We have to remember that we are not the only people on this journey, but all of those we touch are on an equaly difficult road. I think the concept of a Muslim man confronting his parents is entirely relevent considering that most Muslims, unlike most Christians, are yet to see the fallacy of their faith and to dispose of it as required:)

  7. The director has been one of most supportive people I have ever met. “If you want to stop the program from going on air, even if it’s last minute, we can do so, after all, this is JUST a program, and I would hate to ruin someone’s life for the sake of a program being aired”

    So I guess I was being a total adult about it, and willing to suffer the consequences no matter what they were, I am yet to meet Neil and discuss what his story has been like.

  8. @ Ahmad – that’s very good to hear. Hope all went OK.

  9. It’s great that Ahmed was willing to do this documentary, especially being Muslim, his a testamony to men like him all over the world, i just hope that it will help those guys that have a difficult time comming ou.

  10. mikeypikey 9 Sep 2010, 3:27am i think its fair to say he has’nt told his family about THIS other movie he is in,lol woahhh….

  11. Ahmad is so cute!! This documentary is playing on TV in New York & in perfect time to hopefully bring visibility & understanding to Queers and Muslims in each other’s eyes and to everyone. Great job!

  12. I would like to get in tuch with ahmad as i am in same problem. i come from israel and been in uk 6 month my family are extreme jewish. i am scared and not no what to do.

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