Always great to hear people freeing themselves of such heavy burdens and start to live their lifes the way it is intended.
Just like Gareth Thomas, he’s wasted so much time, but at least now he can have a life as opposed to a regime.
Good luck to him
Good luck to him! And another hunky sportsman joins the ranks!
Seemingly balanced regular guys such as Daniel and Gareth Thomas are a far better role model for any young gays considering coming out as opposed to screaming divas such as Paul O Grady, Elton and the likes.
Great news. Good luck to the guy. There must be plenty others like him who remain firmly in the closet.
They are the majority-and I would add that although much of life has gone-don`t despair- even if you come out on your deathbed-its NEVER TO LATE to be who you really ARE.
Until “screaming divas” are also considered role models for young people then I don’t consider true freedom and equality to have been achieved. From Quentin Crisp onwards, it is the camp guys who’ve been the bullied ones, the ones most visible and derided. Until that isn’t the case, then acceptance for the “seemingly balanced” types (WTF does that mean?) is <50% acceptance.
@7: Spot on!
Congratulations Daniel. Steady, things are going to be OK, you’ll see.
“guys such as Daniel and Gareth Thomas are a far better role model for any young gays considering coming out as opposed to screaming divas such as Paul O’Grady, Elton and the likes.”
Pfft, I’m right with you there! Having been a teacher for years, I’ve seen gay male students struggling with their sexuality and self-respect and seeing only the likes of Graham Norton, Four Poofs and a Piano, Lily Savage, Paul O’Grady, and all the rest of the neurotic screamers that are willing to be laughed at in order to earn a living.
Eddy it goes back to Larry Grayson and further than that, the breeders don’t want to think of gays in the public eye as being anything other than lisping, mincing double entendre spouting queens, that guy from Pineapple Studios being the latest example on TV. It will take generations to eradicate that stereotype from society. And I agree with you that young gays (guys in particular) only have the Graham Nortons of this world to relate to. Its a dated concept to make gays appear less offensive for family viewing.
To the detractors of Paul O Grady and his stage personae Lilly Savage I have this to say, I have been a friend of Paul’s for over 30 years and he is no “screaming deva” nor is he a “neurotic screamer” either. I am utterly disgusted at the tone of these comments, and especially about one of the kindest and most genuine people you could ever wish to meet anywhere. Live and let and spare us the self-hate please. Camp is there to be celebrated as a part of our history and life. Don’t forget that it was the courage of drag-queens that helped to kick-start the gay equality movement that has brought us to where we are now.
Clearly you people who are criticising Mr O’g don’t listen to his show on radio 2, far from being a screamer on that. Anyway what does it matter, this forum is about a great sportsman who has come out to join us, not the pros/cons of Paul O’grady and Graham Norton
It is a reality that non-mincing, non-lisping, non-effeminate, non-screaming gay role-models, who are not to be laughed AT, are a positive force for gay people, and particularly for young gay people.
It is also a reality that the Stonewall riots in New York erupted because drag queens went wild and decided enough was enough. However, beyond that episode, having been involved in gay lib and politics for many many years, I know that gay-screaming mincers have NOT contributed to the endless work and toil that has advanced gay and lesbian rights. I can’t think of a single meeting I have attended where there has been a drag queen present OR any mincing screamer!
Not palatable in the face of the fantasies that some would like to maintain, but facts all the same!
“the breeders don’t want to think of gays in the public eye as being anything other than lisping, mincing double entendre spouting queens”
sweeping generalisations anyone? Hmm, “Breeders”. Nice. (Not every str8 person “breeds” btw, and even some gays have kids especially those in the clos). I know you might like to think of all str8s as totally stupid but some “breeders” are actually related to the more masc gay men so no, not all str8s want or believe that all gays are all mincing types…the media maybe but not everyone is that daft mate.
Role models? Get Real! Here is a word for you to consider, diversity. Here is another for you, inclusive. I reject in every part your absurd and repulsive descriptions of gay people who happen not to fit your straight-jacket of social norms you seem to believe are the perfect way to behave. You have been involved in gay rights? With attitudes such as you have evidenced in your posts I find that hardly credible. Stonewall didn’t happen because “drag queens went wild” it happened because of the courage of individuals who said enough is enough and resisted homophobia. Those individuals came in all colours, ages, shapes and sizes and behaviours. That has brought us to a place where individuals are able to come-out and be welcomed. We should be celebrating our diversities and not promulgating the self-hate descriptions that you use that stigmatise individuals within our own community. Shame on you.
There is amongst many, but not all, people, a very strong desire to confirm to social norms. This exists within and across groups where different groups have different norms. Some gay people will identify with the ‘queens’ and adopt such mannerisms. Some gay people prefer to display an openly conservative style of behaviour and seek act accordingly.
Particular manners will always be more mainstream than others. Whilst adopting a live and let live attitude, it is realistic to acknowledge that some behaviour fits into sub-culture and carves out its own alternative space.
Many strands of gay ‘culture’ until recently have been part of the sub-culture. With the more liberal attitudes brought about by the political left over the past twenty years, parts of this sub-culture have reached the mainstream. Gay civil partnerships, adoption, formal equality has brought those gay people who wish to confirm to broadly conservative behaviour into a more socially accepted position. This does not follow in all countries – France is still much more socially conservative and there is no situation of people who are gay and open without their sexuality singularly defining their existence and behaviour. It is either an ‘open-secret’ or hidden rather than being open and matter-of-fact.
What we are seeing in the UK, Australia, the USA (and, particularly, Protestant countries) with prominent people openly acknowledging their sexuality is a realisation that gay people need not identify with a particular strand of gay sub-culture or leftish identity but can follow a deliberately non-political gay, almost conservative, life.
The drag queen or ‘neurotic screamers’ will always continue to exist, but such behaviour may continue to be beyond the boundaries of the social norm. There is nothing wrong in recognising that we should live and let live whilst realistically noting that it sits outside broadly observed majority culture.
Wow so much internalised homophobia expressed on here.
Such a positive story. Especially as Daniel Kowalski did address why he did not come out of the closet before this.
Another elite athlete publicly joins the ranks.
Instead of snarling at each other you should be working out ways of using this to convince soccer players (Football to you) to embrace battling homophobia campaigns.
Well stated Johnny B (statement 15). I’m so fed up of the gay world and all it’s opinions that pretty much say ‘You can only be gay like me” Diversity and inclusion indeed!!
Mr Paul OGrady is a diamond gezzer. He has flogged his guts out over the years standing up for gay rights. Either as lily or himself. He even phoned in radio two once on the Vine show to have his say on the subject of the woman who wouldnt perform civil partnerships. Most celebs gay or straight wouldnt bother doing that. So leave the guy alone, hes one of the funniest people in this counrty , him and his mate Julian. Good on ya Paul
ps whats a gezzer, or could I mean geezer. lol
m-m. What do we know about gay archetypes?
Come on now chaps/chapesses! For those of us who worked throughout the 1980/90s for LGBT rights; It takes all sorts to make a gay world! At least there is no a choice in role models. You can have hunky sportsmen, police, actors, politicians(!!!) as well as drag queens and camp men. You can have butch lesbian or fem lesbian role models too; embrace the diversity but lets not slag off our LGBT brothers and sisters because they choose the lifestyle you don’t. :-)
a butch man comes out and adds to the small number of positive role-models of gay men who don’t go around screaming their tits off (that’s most gay men) and instead of celebrating this what do we get? we get a load of queens screaming how much they love drag queens! i guess a certain kind of gay man feels threatened every time a masculine man comes out! does it lessen your license to scream and shriek? i guess it must
Congratulations Daniel! I hope your story encourages other elite Australian athletes to do the same, as I’m sure you’re not alone with such a deep personal battle. Its time to be real, be strong and be YOU.