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Chief exorcist says the Devil is working in the Vatican

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  1. The Daily Mash could not easily have come up with something funnier…

  2. Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa…ha, ha, ha, ha…. Haaaaaaaaaaaaa…. ha, ha, ha….

  3. Not the Devil working in the Vatican, its just an old Nazi!

  4. No, I think the Pope is actually the devil himself! would explain a lot!

  5. So does this mean that all pedophile priests are demonised and thus exhonerated from the law. I don’t understand why the Pope doesn’t allow priests to get married. It would probably stop a load of problems

  6. Extra, extra, read all about it. A Catholic priest is a total fruitcake.

  7. These cardinals are certifiably insane.

    I think the Vatican should be flattened and turned into a multi-story car park.

    Might help Rome’s traffic problem.

  8. “70,000 cases of demonic possession”

    WTF? Surely he should be referring these people to trained medical practitioners, and not re-living his favourite Linda Blair moments?

    What a pack of nutters. Here, where’s Skinner, we have a new job for him….

  9. Har Davids 11 Mar 2010, 2:13pm

    If a being as Satan exists, he’s been running Christianity for centuries by now. I can’t imagine this crazy stuff not having been around for a long, long time.

  10. The Catholic Church funds a lunatic asylum. It’s called The Vatican.

    Why must ordinary intelligent Catholics – and yes, there are some, so don’t jump on the usual bandwagon – have to be embarassed by superstitious lunacy like this? Why in heaven’s name do they EMPLOY a chief exorcist?

  11. I really enjoyed this story. Is it by Dan Brown?

  12. “Chief exorcist says the Devil is working in the Vatican” – I could have told him that

  13. Christine Rourke 11 Mar 2010, 3:16pm

    Speechless…

    chrissie
    xx

  14. Rich, why would letting priests get married stop any problems? Married men abuse children. Abuse doesn’t srping from celibacy.

  15. 70,000 exorcisms over the last 25 years. That is between 7 and 8 every single day. No rest for the wicked !

  16. “I am convinced that the Nazis were all possessed. All you have to do is think about what Hitler and Stalin did.”

    And, of course, what Pius XII didn’t do.

  17. Ratcatchers brother isn’t any better. http://tinyurl.com/ydgsnqo

  18. Have been trying for ten minutes to post a comment, but can’t see the screen for laughing!

    Hey, next Father Gabriele Amorth (85), will be telling us Lord Voldemort …. OOOOPS! “He-who-must-not-be-named” is alive and well and living in St. Peter’s, his Dementors are relpacing the Swiss Guard and his Death Eaters are taking over the world! LOL!…
    Huh.. wait a minute! Come to think if it, that IS what the fool’s actually saying, ain’t it? MWAAAAAAAHHH! Cha! Here I go again!

  19. douglas in canada 11 Mar 2010, 4:18pm

    The Devil can “speak in different languages”? Shocking, simply shocking!!

    [Please, I can’t breathe… I’m laughing … sssooooooooo hard.]

  20. Any ordinary or intelligent people (let alone gay ones, who are just traitors to the cause if they remain: there are plenty of gay friendly Christian churches if they positively must practise such nonsense) would have left the catholic church years ago. I enjoy stories like this as it makes it easier for those of us not afflicted with such stupidity to have, quite simply, a good laugh.

  21. Gene Touchet 11 Mar 2010, 4:36pm

    Sad. On so many levels.

  22. And this is accepted as sane simply because he has that many believers behind him. When will this circus end?

  23. “Join The Catholic Church, slurp your pea soup then become ‘The Devil Himself’!”
    From any 85 year old senile queen like Father Gabriele Amorth, this concept is criminally insane.
    Does the old fool not yet realize the Devil is the Church itself?
    Go figure why ‘religion’ continues to create 99% of the world’s strife.

  24. To think that in the 21st century, insecure, unsophisticated people still believe in the “devil”? This cult hasn’t evolved much since the middle ages or the people controlling it. I renounced catholicism long ago, an embarrassment to even be associated with it given its history, past and present and the role its played in supporting discrimination against us. It deserves the ridicule and scorn it gets. All self-imposed by its rigid, immovable resistance to change. That alone proves it is an irrational but devolved religious cult. Long live atheism, may it grow and prosper!

  25. “… cardinals who do not believe in Jesus …..” Doesn’t say very much for the Doctrine of Infallibility on the part of the ‘Infallible’ Pope who appointed them!!!

  26. Oh my… so if the Nazis were possessed by the devil, does that include the pope?

  27. It’s laughable. It’s hysterical. It’s hilarious.

    But it’s true!

    The Vatican has a full-time devil-chaser.

    And the Pope believes his full-time devil-chaser is a necessity.

    What a bunch of bloody loonies!

    I mean, The Vatican is no different from an old-fashioned Lunatic Asylum!

    I suppose if I were to stalk into the St. Peter’s and start spouting the kind of thing I say on these pages there would be absolutely no question on the part of all those clergy who would come running that I, your sweet Eddy, was fully possessed by The Devil!

    (“The” Devil has been around a long time, hasn’t he. Never seems to die.)

  28. Jean-Paul Bentham 11 Mar 2010, 8:22pm

    Being a good and intelligent practicing RRC today is like being an innocent victim on a sinking ship. Tragic, because there are such good living people in the church.

    This whole mess would have been avoided if only Vatican Council II hadn’t been systematically rejected and extinguished by right-wing nutters.

    Attempting to put the power of the church into the hands of the college of bishops was an excellent directive on the part of John XXIII. There was nothing devilish about Angelo Roncalli.

  29. Steady on, Jean-Paul, I’m gettin’ a whiff of the old nostalgias from you for the doings of the Second Vatican Council!

    The incense-swingers are nuts! And the long-haired priests with their guitars were nuts too! Don’t ya think? At least, you’ve got to agree, they all believe in fundamentally the same damn silly nonsense re. some great loving pixie-in-the-sky?

  30. Rich, there is a rapidly increasing number of married Catholic priests- they are allowed now. It is a slightly daft route that people have to take, as they have to become a married Anglican priest and then convert, but lots of men who want to become married Catholic priests are taking that option.

  31. Interesting comment, Dromio. It’s a rather murky situation, isn’t it. Married priests are not properly or fully “allowed” but it has happened that owing to accepting married Anglicans into the Catholic priesthood there are now, in effect, a good number of practising RC priests who are married. But all of those other RC priests who have quit and got married but still claim they are priests and who are renting themselves out to perform priestly functions are no longer members of the clergy. As far as Rome is concerned they don’t count any longer – though the “priests” in question are demanding that they be let back in.

    And what if they are? They’re all still a load of deluded nutters who believe in some great pixie-in-the-sky and some evil wild creature that requires a full-time devil-catcher! :-)

  32. Great Title for a new horror movie, Devil at the Vatican.

    It keeps getting funnier every time I read it.

  33. If he is working at the vatican, I wonder if he is getting paid a salary or paid in souls.

  34. Bill Perdue 11 Mar 2010, 11:06pm

    Time to comfess. Who hid this man’s meds?

  35. Jean-Paul Bentham 12 Mar 2010, 12:03am

    Eddy:

    I know what you mean; I’m not out of the woods yet, innit.

    In the meantime, what is this I hear about b16’s brother, the tyrannical, abusive choir director in Germany???

  36. The devil is named RATZInger. And the cardinals and bishops are his disciples.

    Who keep lots of good priests in line, by telling them that if they do the right thing re gay people, they will be tossed out of what they hoped would be a lifetime of sacrifice to HELP others.

    May Vesuvius II Errupt under the Vatican. God’s message and sending to hell, the most horrible long lived institution in the western world.

    Who gave the world the 1000 year dark ages, the 14 crusades that killed upwards of 50 million muslims – no wonder they hate us

    Who murdered prob a million women as witches – tortured and burned at the stake. For espousing what was really a competing religion against the absolutistss.

    Who gave us the Inquistion, where unknown numbers of good people were murdered and tortured for saying the earth was round and the sun didn’t revolve around the earth etc.

    Who gave the world the hatred of the Jews – Jesus own people. Ultimately, Hitler, actually a religious believer if you read Mein kampf, used this hatred to gain election in germany, and 50 million died.

    And the church has yet to EXcommunicate him. He was born in very catholic austria in 1888, and baptised there.

    But what would you expect from a german pope born in 1928 in Nazi germany, where he learned his lessons well.

  37. I think the Vatican should be flattened and turned into a multi-story car park.

    NO – turn it and some of its churches into museums. Where future generations will learn about abject hatred and evil in the name of God

    And I’ll be glad to go back to my army days, and help the destruction crews blow up the rest of their houses of hatred.

  38. It’s in the eyes, and the latest Pope has the most Devilish eyes going. Pure evil. Would you leave him alone for one minute with your niece and nephew?

  39. Bishop Ioan 12 Mar 2010, 9:06am

    The whole church is even nuttier than it was during Vatican II. Now the pendulum has swung to the right. It’s all insanity the longer I behold it. I do feel RATZI is especially evil, though. At least some of the Vatican II bishops were trying to be decent and fair-minded. Now if you don’t want to follow Ratzi’s fascist crap, you’re dead meat. And if to punish those the Church doesn’t like that means punishing little kids by not letting them attend the same school as their friends, well, that’s fine with the new regime (the kids of the lesbian kids that cannot go further in Catholic school). Of course, I expected this when, under J2P2
    as as lesbian ex-novice friend used to call him, increasingly reactionary bishops were appointed.
    So if there is a Devil, it would have to be Ratzi and his minions.

  40. With Benedict, who needs the devil.

    BTW, do you think God was trying to tell the church something with his real name

    RATZInger. Rat and Natzi in the same breath

  41. steveMD2 wrote: “The devil is named RATZInger.”

    Excellent, Steve! I love it! The man the devil-chaser needs to fuc*ing exorcise, roast alive, hang up by the goolies, is the Pope himself! Brilliant.

    Good idea for some imaginative placards for the protests when the old goat comes parading through our streets in September!

    “Devil-Catcher, Devil-Catcher!
    Quick! Quick!
    It’s HIM!
    It’s Ratzi!”

    Write that one down folks. I waive all copyright on it!

  42. I hope you people in the UK don’t end up paying for his visit there…

  43. An organised religion so clearly out of touch with the world beyond the vatican walls – pure spirit, invisible – absolut Vodka – someones telling porkies again…..

  44. How about:

    “Vatican Devil-Catchers,
    Quick! Quick!
    It’s him, it’s him!
    Ratzi is your DEVIL!”

  45. BrazilBoysBlog 13 Mar 2010, 3:11am

    @37 SteveMD2 I think this is one of the best suggestions I have seen in ages. I have said it before, and now apparently it is official… The Catholic church is EVIL. They should be our public enemy number one. (I am not talking about catholics, they are just deluded as all believers in some sky-fairy), no, the catholic church is run by evil people and their churches should be turned into museums where future generations can marvel at the stupidity and intolerance of man.

  46. BrazilBoysBlog 13 Mar 2010, 3:18am

    “He can remain hidden, or speak in different languages, transform himself or appear to be agreeable.”

    My goodness. I wish I was possessed! I am desperately trying to learn Portuguese and it´s a basta-d to master! The ´agreeable´ bit sounds quite good too!

  47. I don’t know about the devil but the Pope is was a Hitler Youth.

  48. BrazilBoys, yes, you’re right, the article should be titled:

    Chief Catholic Exorcist Confirms Vatican is Evil.

    Wake up, “Staff Writer”, you missed that opportunity!

  49. Funny, this whole talk about the Catholic Church itself being evil remind me of my travel to Europe last year. When I visited St. Peter’s Basilica in Rome I saw a strange coat of arms near Saint Peter’s tomb depicting what appeared to be three bees or flies, and that remembered me of the demon Beelzebub, who is said to be “the Lord of the Flies”. So, if the Devil really exist (which I, as an atheist, don’t believe), he is inside the Vatican.

  50. “The devil is working in the Vatican”… “the Devil wears Prada”.
    I think we’re rapidly narrowing down the list of suspects who could have beelzebub as an alter ego folks!

  51. Lucifer aka the devil, was an angel of great beauty. He got his horned head and forked tail at a later date. If he is in the vatican look out for an extremely good looking, tanned blond hunk(!)

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