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Comment: Homophobia hurts young straight men too

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  1. Simon Murphy 12 Feb 2010, 3:58pm

    “A source from the PFA told the Independent yesterday… “Players give a lot; they get so many asks. Sometimes there has to be a ‘no’, and this was one of them.” ”

    That’s what is so contemptible about the players refusal to get involved. They ‘give’ a lot do they?

    Well how much money are they earning – in some cases up to £200,000 A WEEK.

    The poor dears – we mustn’t stress them out. They are so fragile.

    Stupid wimps more like it.

    I wonder why Ronaldo and Beckham are so willing to allow themselves to be so blatantly marketed to a gay audience in their Armani adverts, yet are so shy about condemning prejudice against the gay customers who are buying these products?

    Well greed of course.

  2. Simon Murphy 12 Feb 2010, 4:12pm

    And JOhn Amaechi is correct when he says that it is not football fans who are the problem. It is the FA themselves.

    Donal Og Cusack came out as gay. He plays hurling. He received largely supportive feedback from the fans and has the backing of his sporting organisation.

    Gareth Thomas came out as gay. He plays rugby. He received largely supportive feedback from the fans and has the backing of his sporting organisation.

    John Amechi came out as gay. He plays basketball. He has said that the feedback from the fans has been supportive.

    Justin Fashanu came out as gay. He played football. He was driven out of his sport due to an utter lack of support by the FA.

    The FA is the problem. Not the fans. I would think that most fans would be perfectly fine with gay players (and the small number of bigotted fans should get barred from stadiums)

  3. BrazilBoysBlog 12 Feb 2010, 4:19pm

    Excellent article and comment!

    Really is food for thought. As it says, there is also the bigger issue of confronting gender stereotypes here. Showing straightboys that the things they consider as being ´gay´ are no more than good basic human qualities. Something to aspire to, not condemn.

  4. Agreed an excellent article! But we still have to tackle this issue head on. The Govt pussy foots around it and so are the Tories (Lib Dems know how to handle it!)Its a human Right issue as Dolly Parton said recently and yes, it has a nasty effect on straight boys and men too. You can’t be a real man if you like the ballet and read the Guardian? Pardon me? You are not a real man if you have had a university education and wear a pink shirt and tie? Honestly? What is a real man then, someone who gets pissed up all the time, vomits after 12 pints and a curry and then goes home and beats his Mrs?? I think not. of course these men exist sadly but the majority of men in the Uk are surely not like that. The term Gentleman does not just apply to a toilet in a public place! A bit more of the Gentle and less of the yobbo would help us all, gay, straight or indifferent!

  5. An excellent article indeed. I’m going to link to it and send it to all my friends & colleagues because its an article everyone should read, not just us gay folks. It seems the FA needs a severe kick up the backside (they’re footie people, so should be good at this) to get them to wake up.

    They really don’t get it, do they? (rhetorical question if it’s not obvious already).

  6. “We still socially reinforce industrial revolution-style gender identity on our boys and men so that to be a ‘real man’ you must be the opposite of anything even remotely considered feminine.”

    This is the crux of it: that there can only be binary thinking on gender, and that one of those genders is horribly inferior to the other. I have issues with Dan Savage, but his comment that “homophobia is the bastard child of misogyny” is absolutely true – if the horror of all things female was not so intense, we wouldn’t have kids policing gender, gender identity, gender expression and orientation so ruthlessly in the playground and growing up to police them less obviously but just as harshly as adults. You can see it amongst the queer and trans “community”, too, with arguments over what kind of gender expression is acceptable for lesbians and gay men, whether or not bisexuality exists, trans people facing discrimination amongst queer groups/events, etc.

    Divide and conquer may allow a small number of people to cling to social power and privilege, but it harms all of us.

  7. Great article!

  8. Mumbo Jumbo 12 Feb 2010, 8:56pm

    Amaechi has always been a top bloke and I couldn’t agree more.

    For my own part, my inner economist has been telling me for years that the enormous effort straight boys and straight men feel they have to put into not appearing to be gay is a hoplessley ineffecient and grotesque mis-alocation of resources.

    If gay was not seen as bad, straight people could relax, be themselves and all their energy directed into something more useful and productive to the benefit of everyone.

  9. donotdiscriminate 12 Feb 2010, 9:11pm

    Great article. Thanks for pointing out the FA’s role in all of this. It makes perfect sense. Hopefully they will get to read it. Also, it’s no wonder so many straight men have huge problems with ‘difficulty expressing their emotions.’ Better to get depressed, drunk, divorced or just beat the wife.

  10. Jean-Paul Bentham 12 Feb 2010, 10:19pm

    Excellent write-up.

    I especially like the way Mr. Amaechi puts the topic in perspective by mentioning some of the problems in the world.

    I would add global warming, but a football player would probably think I was implying that his family jewels are hot stuff. Dah!

  11. Frankly I just think football and footballers are beyond lame, and this whole issue with the FA and homophobia only serves to prove it once more if anyone was in doubt. It’s a sad day for our society when footballers equal role models because, as this article aptly points out, they can’t pull it off… It’s a bloody game, people: a bunch of people running after a ball on a grassy patch of turf.

    Let’s call a spade a spade.

  12. Brilliant article, complete and utter sense from start to finish. Please keep up the pressure on the FA posers. They will realise soon what fools they are making of themselves – well one has to live in hope!

  13. Jean-Paul Bentham 14 Feb 2010, 12:17am

    In the UK, as well as in Canada, anti-homophobic legislation is still some way off, but Québec has the right idea:

  14. theotherone 15 Feb 2010, 12:12am

    a good piece and no mistake.

    As more than one poster hare has pointed out this is an issue of Gender Norms and should be viewed as such. It is not that Homophobia or Misogyny hurt Straight men or even just men but that Gender itself perverts and corrupts everything.

    Oh for a world without Gender.

  15. Superb article by a superb man. I hope this goes viral in the field of sport, domestic as well as international.

  16. Eric Whitney 24 Feb 2010, 9:18pm

    right on. i can’t tell you the number of men I know who are literally pretending that they are something they are not – and not just gay/straight – simply to live up to some idiotic male ideal that NOBODY every thought was a good idea in the first place.

  17. Great article. Gender ‘norms’ appear to be even more prominant these days, resulting in a lot more homophobia and hatred for those who don’t conform to these ‘rules’. With better examples set by those in the public eye, youth homophobia in particular could be reduced.

  18. The only problem is, I don’t think any of them will have the brains to read (or understand) anything in this article. Doing so would just be considered … gay.
    Masculinity is being warped into something very sick and its getting worse. Yes, as long as you’re abusive, violent, loud and get upset at every tiny insignificant little thing that ANYONE does or says to you, have a weird accent that ISN’T your own, have a CONSTANT frown and disapproving expression at EVERYTHING around you, then… youre demonstrating how ‘manly, heterosexual and strong’ you are. It’s laughably and obviously fake.
    Honestly.. I do not understand how anyone can think that having no control over your own emotions and getting overly aggitated, is strong. Any 2 year old can stomp its feet and chuck its toys out of its pram cos its upset – but at least it has a good excuse — its a 2 YEAR OLD!!
    But still, I suppose it fools all the other straight boys into believing it and they can all walk with their heads held high, as they saunter off slapping each other on the arse and hugging each other WAY too much, with their glistening, highlighted hair, their big girly sparkly ear-rings, their cleansed, toned and moisturised little faces, shaped eyebrows, drenched in the latest sweet smelling fragrance, wearing their pink tank tops, with their fluffy white hoods and sparklingly new ‘don’t you dare scuff my pretty trainers’, on. As long as they scratch their balls, insert the word ‘mate’ into every sentence have the most abusive rap tune playing, everyone seems to buy their ‘act’.
    But then again, I don’t know why a lot of gay men are complaining, they seem to admire this behaviour too – until its turned against them.

  19. “Homophobia” is an inane word. It really, etymologically, makes no sense. What does it mean etymologically: ‘fear of same?’ It is a political neologism meant to be employed as a dismissive word to ward off any protests that call into question the perversions of homosexuality.

  20. Bishop Ioan 24 Mar 2010, 12:07pm

    A GLBT orientation is NOT a perversion. And I hate to burst your bubble, but homophobia is a fear and loathing of homosexuals and homosexuality. If you don’t like what the GLBT community is saying, then go find some fundie anti-gay boards, you homophobic jerk!!

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