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Duncan James on bisexuality and depression

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  1. 15 Jan 2010, 2:06pm

    Depression is a terrible illness and a high price to pay for not having inner peace, a confident sexual identity, and the esteem of your family, friends, and audience.

    It says here: “”I’d had in my head that everyone was going to leave me, no one was going to talk to me. When the story came out, the reaction I got was so positive. People I didn’t expect to contact me said lovely things and people were writing beautiful letters saying that I’d really helped them.”

    I’m glad about that. How long until we hear the same from an out footballer?

    1. Who care about this publicity-whore?

  2. Ooh. The Daily Mail are gonna love the gay/anti depressants connection.

  3. Simon Murphy 15 Jan 2010, 3:26pm

    This story comes from an interview in the Daily Mail.

    I read the full interview in the Mail and it was very non-judgemental and supportive of Duncan.

    This comes a mere 2 weeks after their very supportive interview with Gareth Thomas – the gay rugby player.

    Very odd behaviour. Since the Jan Moir/Stephen Gately disaster I don’t think the Daily Mail has engaged in any sort of homophobia.

    Have they learnt their lesson I wonder?

    Or am I speaking too soon and will they stoop to their usual disgusting levels before too long?

  4. No, of course they haven’t learned their lesson. Both are relatively succesful celebrities, who as far as we know cannot be linked to any “sleazy” activities, that Stephen Gately supposedly got up to, or who haven’t dared to have a mythical happy ever after civil partnership. If they ever slip up, the DM will be the first to put the Jan Moir in. It’s all just window dressing. Leopard, spots, and all that.

  5. Simon Murphy 15 Jan 2010, 4:10pm

    Well the Daily Mail could very easily have dug the knife into both Gareth Thomas and Duncan James if they had been so inclined.

    They could have focussed on the fact that Gareth Thomas was married to a woman (‘Secretly gay rugby player breaks heart of childhood sweetheart wife’) or that Duncan James had a child (‘Blue singer Duncan was playing around with men while pregnant girlfriend worries about being a single mother’).

    They could have been really nasty about both of them. But they weren’t.

  6. `I think the DM is trying to save face by being non-homophobic but it won’t last

  7. Enema of the State 16 Jan 2010, 2:27pm

    It won’t last. The Daily Heil prides itself on being as judgemental as possible – look at how the stories of ‘fat’ women or stars that don’t dare appear in public without their makeup rumbles on and on. They got burned in the Jan Moir fiasco (and rightly so) but their homo-friendly line will only last as long as the next story can be twisted to make the subjects look as salacious as possible.

  8. Peter of Winchester 17 Jan 2010, 12:41pm

    For me, it’s so encouraging to hear these stories from men in the public eye. I too married, had children and suffered from depression, knowing that I was sexually and emotionally attracted to men. I thought I could make a choice not to be gay. It was some years ago, before we knew about quite how “hard-wired” sexuality is. Messrs James and Thomas coming-out both as gay/bi and depression sufferers just makes it clear, depression is no respecter of persons.
    Like others, I do hope the Daily Mail (and others) has learnt its lesson. One day, maybe depression will be recognised for the pernicious disease that it is and human sexuality will be accepted as a cause for celebration, not opprobium.
    Thank you to both gentlemen for their refreshing honesty. I wonder if either would stand for election to Parliament…

  9. Has Andrew Pierce, described by The Guardian as “Fleet Street’s highest-profile gay columnist” joined the Daily Mail from the Daily Telegraph yet? I know the appointment has been announced. Has it happened?

  10. Of course your family accepted your bisexuality duncan….you are not gay. society still has very little issue with bisexuality. its the far ends of the sex bar that people still have trouble with. saying you are bisexual is far safer than coming out as exclusively gay. good for you to come out but give me the brave famous gay people who come out. i think they have far more to lose than someone who can ebb and change with current society norms.

    1. and presumably you have a lot of experience coming out as bisexual to family, friends and work collegues some of whom you may well be terrified would reject you?

      You don’t choose to be bisexual anymore than anyone chooses to be gay. The Idea that we come out as bi deliberatly to stay safe and float with what is expected by society is insulting. Why come out at all in that case.

      1. Staircase2 17 May 2011, 5:01pm

        ….well there is that…

      2. Staircase2 17 May 2011, 5:08pm

        Being bisexual socially is never going to be fully the same as coming out as gay – simply because of the way society is currently constructed.

        Being bisexual comes with a raft of heterosexual cliches and prejudice too – but for str8 society theres always the feeling that ‘its a phase’ (and theyre right in one sense – because someone is likely to phase in and out of having same sex connections) Also amost all bisexual men (in particular) that I know tend to think of men being a spicy sex turnon rather than in the same way they view their sexual and emotional connections with women.
        To deny that difference and deny that things ARE easier for bisexual men (in particular) is daft.
        A man who is bisexual doesnt confront/scare heterosexual society nearly as much as a gay man does simply because of the old and accepted stupid notions that str8 society is built upon.

        1. Well, I’ll be sure to tell my bisexual son that he and his long term and dearly loved boyfriend are doing it wrong according to you. *eyeroll*

    2. Simply not true. Society has a lot of issues with and prejudiced stereotypes about bisexuality and it is often compounded by the gay community making accusations just like yours, i.e “oh, it’s easy for you” or accusing bis of vacillation or wanting to ‘pass’.

      1. Very true, Rufus. I’ve often heard disparaging comments about bisexual people from both gay and straight people. I don’t think that it’s easier to come out as bisexual at all.

        1. I am a bisexual man and out. In twenty years I have been denied A linquistic officer position in the army, have been harassed by gays and straights alike, have been told I don’t exist, been the victim of a hate crime by a straight guy who punched me saying a series of things including “faggot” etc. the police would not prosecute as a hate crime because I said I was bisexual and the guy knew I was but I had to argue I was “gay enough” to be the victim of hate crime. I have been dismissed to this day by my gay and lesbian collegues even though I have produced over 50 LGBT events in my life. I ironically get more acceptance now from straight men than I get from gay men. The idea that being bisexual is easier than being gay is big crock of crap! Furthermore on online dating straight women will completely ignore my profile except a very few and those few have admitted having hesitations of dating a bisexual man. Another bi man I know who more regularly dates men has found the same with gays

  11. Was he in a loving relationship when he fathered a child with a woman? I wonder does that woman now feel alone or abandoned or indeed will the child subsequently feel abandoned by its Dad? This man is getting a loving arm around the shoulder, when he really should be getting a boot up the arse.

    1. Jock S. Trap 16 May 2011, 12:04pm

      Oh get over yaself, Ronnie.

    2. martyn notman 16 May 2011, 3:31pm

      nope, she has an excellent relationship with him, as does his child. Its not the 1950’s in case you havent noticed- people move on and theres more than one way of bringing up a child now than sticking with a hellish marriage..

    3. Jock S. Trap 17 May 2011, 4:37pm

      Yep stop confusing the hetero way of doing things to the LGBT way.
      We are far more forgiving and loving towards our friends and children and less likely to abandon on a whim unlike you Ronnie.
      Though one is thinking if you had children I feel afraid for them.

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