This guy is looking for his 15 minutes of fame!
I see that the Irish Press are reporting that “A post mortem has established that Boyzone singer Stephen Gately died of natural causes, a court official on the island of Majorca said today. The official said Mr Gately suffered a pulmonary oedema, an accumulation of fluid on the lungs.”
I have just had a dear one die of the same thing! Fluid on the lungs is due to either failure of the heart to remove fluid from the lung circulation or some kind of injury to the lung. So did Stephen Gately have a heart problem? If he did, it would surely have manifested itself during demanding singing and dancing routines. Or maybe he recently suffered some injury to his lungs. The kneeling position he was in when he died is frequently adopted by those suffering from breathing problems, because it lessens the difficulties with breathing a little.
I see the gutter press however are more interested in piling guilt upon Gately’s partner, for possibly having spent the night with another man.
Well apparently a pulmonary oedema can be caused by choking on one’s vomit. Toxicology reports aren’t available yet.
From the reports I read Gately’s husband and the Bulgarian guy spent the night in the bedroom while Gately spent it on the sofa and they only discovered him the next day when they got up at lunchtime.
I feel so bad for his husband. Even though the death seems entirely random and accidental and there’s no guaranteen he could have done anything; he will no doubt be blaming himself. He’ll probably be thinking that if he had spent the night with Stephen he may have noticed symptoms and called an ambulance.
It really is a tragic story and seemingly so random.
Joko, it isn’t even remotely funny.
Simon, or anyone else, CAN you tell me if pulmonary oedema be a result of vomit getting into the lungs? Could it still be about that? I have been wondering about that for a while. I’ve been looking online for definitions of the condition to see if that could be a cause. The family still seem convinced it wasn’t.
The thing about Cowles and Georgio being in bed and Steven on the sofa sounds like tabloid gossip. I hope it is. If it isn’t, then it just makes it even more heartbreaking. Yes, he’s going to blame himself. And possibly others will blame him, too. And that’s very sad. One way or another this was a tragic accident which the media is just going to town over.
Joko – that’s offensive and totally uncalled for.
He was just a super talented cute guy.The gay scene is that little bit less at his passing.He will be greatly missed and long remembered.
Rose, as I understand it, pulmonary oedema can be of varying types, with chronic heart problems being just one cause. I think drowning can be another, but that’s classified as a different type, I think? You inhale water and drown. In theory, I think inhaling vomit would be similar. But I’m not a doctor. The death certificate is a private thing really.
I do think that it’s wrong for the press to dig around for some sensational cause or to want to know every last detail of what happened. The poor man’s dead at the age of 33. That’s enough to know and it’s horribly sad, as would the death of any other young man be.
The way gay men run their relationships don’t always fall within the strict moral norm of how the straight world (pretends to) live.
If everybody was content with the arrangement it isn’t anyone else’s business. Unfortunately this guy blabbed to the Scum for his 15 minutes of “fame”, and Gately’s partner will be reviled by every self-appointed moral guardian, and will possibly become estranged from Gately’s family.
Their personal arrangements are no-one else’s business
“Simon, or anyone else, CAN you tell me if pulmonary oedema be a result of vomit getting into the lungs?”
The BBC news website says that a pulmonary oedema CAN be caused by choking on one’s own vomit.
The toxicology tests on his body which will determine his alcohol levels are not available yet. It seems probable that he was drunk and got sick and died that way.
Horrible and utterly unpredictable way to go. The press I imagine will have a field day over the husband allegedly being in bed with someone else in the next room at the time of death.
It’s so sad as even though no-one knows whether he could have done anything to save him, he will probably blame himself. I hope he has the support he needs.
No 9: Mihangel: “Gately’s partner will be reviled by every self-appointed moral guardian”
TRue but that will probably pale into insignificance compared to the guilt he’ll be feeling.
He will be thinking ‘If only, if only, if only’.
Which is awful because even though he isn’t responsonsible in any way he will be tormented by what happens and will blame himself.
I hope he has good friends and counsellors to deal with this.
I keep hoping that its not that, and the 3some thing can be disproved because I am still reeling from those disgusting comments on those two websites we saw on the first thread about this subject. So many of those scumbags took the attitude that this was the inevitabe end of a ‘degenerate’. I WANTED it to be a heart attack or something that could happen to anyone, any age, any sexuality to dispprove those horrible opinions. Him dying in a drunken stupor while his partner was in bed with another man plays into the hands of those who think all gays are ‘degenerates’. I didn’t even like Boyzone. I hardly gave Steven Gately a passing thought when he was alive. But now I feel I want to protect him and his memory, and his family, especially his partner, from the things that scummy insensitive tossers are going to say about him. Call me daft, sentimental, and yes, i really do look at the world through rose-tinted glasses or maybe my own personal Rose-tinted glasses. But thats me. This has really upset me in so many ways.
your words put into focus the true tragedy – his partner will eternally have the “what if” haunting him. Their relationship was grounded in more than sex (which appears to be a significant element in straight marriages): if Andy was in bed with someone else it was still Stephen he came home to.
I hope he finds peace and forgives himself for this ACCIDENT
I hope so, too.
I’m just hoping the press leaves the story lie now as if they focus on the personal, sexual side of their marriage and make a villain out of the husband then I’d be worried about a repeat of Mark Speight.
Remember that story. Speight and his girlfriend Natasha Collins were children’s TV presenters. She died of an accidental drug overdose one evening when they were doing drugs. He was cleared of any involvement in her death but took his own life the following year because of the guilt he felt.
If the press try to villainise Cowles then they are playing with people’s lives and I really, really hope they don’t.
Does this mean 3ways are potentially harmful?
again joko seems to have missed the point.
I agree with the points from simon and psephos.
our rules and taboos are entirely manmade and a product of OUR society. Different societies have different rules. Our gay “society” has different rules, where relationships are grounded as much in abiding and trusting friendships as in sexual exclusivity and possession. And like anything, drink can be dangerous (I can’t comment on drugs as I’ve never done them).
As I said, our parters are the ones we choose to share our lives with. If we sometimes stray into sex outside that we still return to our “home”
(1) What grounds do you have for claiming your preferred values as more gay than the ones that I put forward? I would have thought it had nothing to do with whether you are gay or straight.
(2) There is plenty of evidence that non-monogamous sex is riskier – certainly physically, and I think most people would feel psychologically as well. You can’t be concentrating on your partner if your dallying with someone else, and I don’t think most of us can separate the physical and the emotional aspects of sex that easily.
And it doesn’t really add up to demand all the priveleges of marriage while insisting on the right to sleep with whoever you want to as if you were single.
perhaps I ought to have said that a notable part of our gay “society” doesn’t subscribe to the heteronormative, judeo-christian moral ethos of our existing society. For many gay men anyway sex comes first with the friendship/relationship coming afterwards.
I will glissade over your statements concerning physical dangers of non-monogamy – many marriages are unsafe places for women even now! The issue of emotional insecurity is personal to individuals, though I welcome your evidence for “There is plenty of evidence that non-monogamous sex is riskier .. and I think most people would feel psychologically as well.”
However, I will take issue with your comments concerning “marriage”. This is a legal contract to allow special rights to a chosen person. The whole “being in love” bit is sentiment and is not demonstrated by endurance now or in the past (except by relious and social pressure). I give my partner special rights to my life, my wealth, and to support. My CP has assured the legal benefits that marriage brings: it doesn’t define my relationship or that which existed in the previous 30 years. Marriage (or CP) doesn’t allow one to own the other, merely require that nothing interferes with the fundamental trusts and agreements.
There is no “one size fits all”, and the gay culture has understood this. What we must avoid is proclaiming that one’s own way is best or only way.
I will finish by saying that I’m not attackng you: this is the sort of discussion that is better done with a glass of wine rather than coldly thus. Pace
guys, please don’t get bogged down in an argument about semantics on a topic like this one. its heartbreaking enough.
we have slightly different views of things (to be argued over a bottle), but I hoe we both grieve the death of a young guy (by my accounting!)
He was young enough to have been my son, and I consider all under 35 as within that bracket. I grieve the loss of who he was to his family: I know if I lost any of my younger friends my jeaert would break – the death of my older fiends just batters it
not jearst – HEART
welcome to our forum. Your rose-tinted glasses may allow a less misanthropic view to survive – we can be too cynical.
We hope, but can’t trust to succcess
It is a timely reminder that life should not be taken for granted. Life should be cherished and enjoyed to our fullest and best. You cannot ever know when life will be taken from you. RIP Stephen, you will be missed by your many fans.
I agree. I am sorry if my comments sounded in any way mean spirited. We should concentrate on mourning the terrible loss of a talented and likeable young man.
We should always try to learn what we can from tragedies like this, even if we might not totally agree, but that should come later.
My sincere sympathies to the Gately family.
You have just succeeded in disrupting the thread, and you have completely forgotten to express a word of sympathy to Stephen’s family.
Have you been taking lessons from the Phelps family who goes around disrupting the funerals of gay Amarican soldiers with their GOD HATES FAGS signs?
And now in your post 26 Monkeychops…I mean Fee-Fausse, you say:
“We should always try to learn what we can from tragedies like this, even if we might not totally agree, but that should come later.”
What exactly are you saying? Who’s “we”?
Why don’t you use the pronoun “I” when talking about yourself, Monkeychops…I mean Fee-Fausse?
Why don’t you give us an inkling of what it is you have learnt from this tragedy instead of pontificating that “we” should learn something about it?
Now, go back to your home website (thinkcontroversial dot wordpress dot com) ….look that up Mihangel ap Yrs and Rose and tell me what color you see. And why is there a direct link to PinkNews from there, eh Jalex (Monkeychops’ last alter ego on the “Turkey bans gay websites” thread where he disrupted that one too by calling everyone “ignorant”.
Monkeychops, Sugar Plum Fairie, Anon, Cirtex, Jalex…did I miss any, eh sweetie?
Jean-Paul, you are so astute. I thought the same. The god-worhsipping ex-seminarian, indeed!
John Macdonald, I agree with what you say there. Sadly, by all accounts, living life to the full was what they were trying to do on their holiday.
Agreed, we should concentrate on expressing sympathy to Stephen’s family and close friends.
I have asked the moderator to delete my comments above. Though well intended, on reflection they’re not appropriate to this thread.
I’m not sure the moderator will take orders from you, sweetie.
Your posts 15 and 18 are part of this thread and they show you up for what you really are. So I think they should stay. after all, there is no foul language in your comments…not yet anyway.
And you’re the one who’s been saying how self-centered gays are all this time, eh Monkeychops.
Oh, and you still didn’t express a word of sympathy to Stephen’s family.
What you did say was:
“Agreed, we should concentrate on expressing sympathy to Stephen’s family and close friends”
Again, what are you saying? Who’s “we”?
There you go pontificating again telling us what we should do after we have all done it except you, you Monkey-twit!
Say it from the heart now:
“I wish to express my sympathy to the Gately family on the death of their wonderful and talented son, Stephen.”
Only an ex-gay homophobic, alcoholic, schizophrenic, cyberspace shapeshifter like Monkeychops would refuse to say something like that on a thread like this.
Of course you could always put it in your own words, like the Phelps family does. Is that who you mean when you use the pronoun “we”?
Like in “we” should, but “we” won’t.
C’mon now, don’t try to worm your way out of this one, you cruel, ruthless and heartless ex-gay hypocrite.
See you at thinkcontroversial dot wordpress dot com. Don’t you just love Canadian news, eh?
Heartless troll, you Monkeychops R sick and a threat to civilized society, and you know it.
Frankly I can’t be bothered to reply to these incoherent ramblings and verbal mud pies (also not exactly appropriate here), other than to point out the obvious that “we” includes I.
Getting back to the real purpose of this thread, the funeral is on Saturday at midday in Dublin. I believe in prayer, so I will say one at that time. Those who don’t, and I know there are a lot of you, spare a quiet moment for this man who so many people have described as ‘gentle’ and his family. The rest, the tabloid stories, the guesswork about what happned, let it lie.
That’s Mister Jean-Paul to you, FEE-FEE!
C’mon now, don’t try to worm your way out of this one, you cruel, ruthless and heartless ex-gay hypocrite.
See you at thinkcontroversial dot wordpress dot com.
Don’t you just love Canadian news, eh?
Oh, and if you can’t be bothered to express your sympathy to the family of a dearly departed gay man, why don’t you get the hell off this thread and also off PinkNews once and for all, sweetie.
There are lots of sites where you can grab an international spotlight by being a terrorist sympathizer like you were in the “Turkey bans gay Website” thread when you were using the name of Jalex from thinkcontroversial dot wordpress dot com.
In post 34 you just said:
“Frankly I can’t be bothered to reply to these incoherent ramblings and verbal mud pies (also not exactly appropriate here), other than to point out the obvious that “we” includes I.”
There you go pontificating again, eh Monkeychops, making up the rules as you go along trying to discretely worm out of your stupid comments, which, btw, have not been removed by the moderator.
Surely you weren’t “lying” by telling “we” that you had instructed the instructor to remove your assisine stupidity from this thread, eh MONKEYCHOPS.
Now, repeat after me:
If you can’t do that, you despicable ex-gay sadistic moron, then let me put it bluntly:
GO TO HELL!
I am surprised Sister Mary Clarence hasn’t weaved a Tory party victory at the next election into this complicated thread.
None of the articles I have read on forthcoming funeral arrangements mention Cowles; they seem to be more about Louie Walsh.
I think the Gately’s family and friends are probably just hoping Cowles allows a proper period of mourning before he is next reported in the media. I hope we don’t see headlines like “merry widower hits the town” or “Cowles spotted on the Heath” in a fornight’s time.
All the best.
Even if he did die through choking on his own vomit and being drunk, it still has absolutely nothing to do with his sexual orientation and people like Jan Moir are only perpetuating our ignorance and homophobia. These people have a responsibility to deliver the news and not to make up lies to suit their own political/religious beliefs. It still amazes my that she assumed that his death was ‘sleazy’. She has abandoned her responsibility as a member of the press and would be better off writing bibles.
The problem with all homophobia, bigotry and racism is of course and always has been religion. When groups of people in their billions all embrace life destroying myths which are at total loggerheads with science and progression then intolerance of other belief systems and dogmas occur and this extends to race and anyone who is different to the teachings of a particular dogma.