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Sexual health charity criticised for distributing condoms in gay cruising areas

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  1. Brian Burton 22 Sep 2009, 12:57pm

    Make the Problem worse…What Problem? People of all types seek sexual contact, in all sorts of different ways and different country venues. It’s been going on since time immimorial and will carry on from generation to generation.

  2. I by no means condone cruising. It’s an outdated, antisocial and potentially dangerous occupation. However, if people will do it, at least ensure that they minimise the risks involved. GMFA have been doing the same thing on Hampstead Heath for over twenty years with no complaints.

    I think the idiot councillor is seeing this as encouraging the activity, I think it better that it prevents further problems. Would giving out free hypodermics for heroin users at a health clinic be considered promoting illegal drugs use? Precisely.

  3. @RobN

    In answer to your questions about needles, this is already done. It happens in chemists, or at least it did when I was younger. It is often considered to promote illegal drug use.

  4. Boat-Rocker 22 Sep 2009, 1:30pm

    A lot of these people are married (in the closet) living hetro lives.
    They have to do it somewhere.

  5. Sammy: I knew that, it was a rhetorical question. The government has had a needle swapping scheme running successfully for many years. So far I personally have never heard anyone claim it promoted illegal drug use.

  6. @RobN

    Sorry, I did not realise it was rhetorical. I grew up in a ough area which was rife with heroin users. It was often said that if the needle swap was not running, the heroin addicts would die off and that less people would think about getting involved.

  7. nailing bags to trees is not distributing condoms it is damaging plant life. There are better ways of promoting safe sex.

  8. If i saw a bad of condoms nailed to a tree i wouldn’t use one, i carry my own (and i dont go cruising)
    I would probably take a few though, it beats buying them

    And people have been shagging in the woods for thousands of years, since we were cavemen
    If no-one can see i dont see a problem, and if you can see why are you out there at night?

  9. hold on a minute

    surely the problem here really isn’t the homophobes

    surely it’s the charity itself – not for distributing the condoms in the first place

    but for “nailing” them to trees!!!!!!!!!

    sheer rubber and sharp things don’t usually go together – and surely a whaking great nail thru a johnny will ruin it’s effectiveness to ward off all the nasties that distribute them for in the first place.

    So before we start slagging off the homophobes – maybe we should actually ger our own house in order and ensure that our condom distribution schemes are actually distributing something that is usable!!!

  10. There is something far more sinister behind this, and that is freedom of movement for the gay community. If you agree with sex in public spaces or not, the real questions raised is the right to meet. Thats what the whole point of the sexual offences act of 2003 was supposed to mean. To equalise with our hetrosexual friends. But what is happening about this counrty is that as Police can no longer shine the tourch and move us on, other means are being used. Closing down of places, restricted openings of certain car parks and constant police visits. When we meet and it becomes a problem, are meeting process is then relabled and classed as antisocial behavior. Sex in public as by any gender should be a seperate issue, and dealt with accordingly. But when it is a gay matter, meeting and sex in public become blurred. It is now so bad that we now have gay appartied in this counrty and it is getting worse. Cruising areas, or meeting places as I like to call them also offer much more than just sex. They offer support, friends, company and stop isolation, esp in rural areas which are poorly served by bars etc. Also a vast majority of visitors to crusing areas are older gay and bi men, a group that even the gay community forget. It is a generation that is used to meeting like this and they feel some what safe. I go to crusing areas and pick up the sex litter and have liased with the police to some extent to try and keep some open. Only last week I had a diversty officer and a constable around my table for a coffee and a chat regarding a local crusing area near me. They are a vital part of gay life still and should be protected. We ask for very little space in this counrty that we can call ours. A few acres in each county is very little to ask for, and as for the people that feel intimidated by these areas, Welcome to our world.

  11. A very interesting and different view on this issue Dave! Thanks :]

  12. John (Derbyshire) 22 Sep 2009, 5:42pm

    Dave- Couldn`t agree with you more. The shocking truth is that you can actually receive an ASBO and therefore a criminal record-meaning you will never find work again-just for BEING in a particular place. The police will issue “stop and search” notices to any single men sat in parked cars at well known cruising sites. IF you persist in visiting the sites you will be given a police ASBO for “anti-social behaviour”. This will effectively criminalise you. Note- you are not committing a ciminal offence-you have not been caught commiting a criminal offence. You may go there for social reasons for example-to meet gay friends who you know visit the area. And lets face it-for many isolated and elderley gays this is the only opportunity they have to meet others similar to themselves. It definitely clashes with the two fundamental human rights of 1)Freedom of association and 2)Freedom of movement. When the conservatives get in next year-I expect far more of us to be criminalised in this way.

  13. Dave/John:

    “They are a vital part of gay life still and should be protected.”

    “The shocking truth is that you can actually receive an ASBO and therefore a criminal record just for BEING in a particular place.”

    Well damn right. What planet are you people on? We are well into the 21st century with many places to meet, both physically and virtually, but you people still want to resort to shagging in the bushes. Like I said, it’s outdated, antisocial and potentially dangerous. The shocking truth is, you ARE breaking the law and should be treated appropriately. Haven’t you people got homes to go to?

  14. John (Derbyshire) 22 Sep 2009, 6:58pm

    How can you be breaking the law just by being sat in a parked car in a public car park?

  15. Dear Rob, never say never. I too had the same outlook towards these places when I was a young man. ( you might be old yourself I dont know, but this is from my point of view and experience).I too thought that they were not needed with all those lovely clubs and pubs. The fact that I drove a three hour round trip to London and a two and half hour trip to Brighton , never worried me or crossed my mind. But then nature caught up with me and I became that taboo subject in the gay world. OLD. I am now 47. I became ill, lost all my firends, another tabbo subject on the gay scene, ill health. I can honestly say that a cruising area saved my life, and because of that I have since worked hard to protect them. You mention ways of meeting people , like the interent. Well I can tell you the age thing goes on there. up until I was 42, I would get regular hits in my gaydar profile , but once I got over that age and I look at the tracks, or people that have viewed my profile, none , nothing , nowt. Also the internet when I did meet people was not a good way. People lie and when you do meet, the chemistry might not be there, socially or sexually, which ever you are seeking. I hope really that you world is a happy one, but I have meet men who still if they come out would lose their jobs and more importantly their familes. I have meet lonely old men that just wanted to talk. I learnt a lot from them and relaise the pain that they have had to go through over the years. Out gay people are out because of the efforts that these past generations have endured and laid down the foundations for us to march , to meet , to love and hopefully soon to marry. So as much as I embraced those gay people out on the scene, out at work and out to their familes. I remember those that this dream is still just that a dream. They have a lot to lose, and I for one will fight there corner and not let them be forgotton. So long live the crusing area and those that frequent them. Bless you all.

  16. just one last point on this issue then I promise I will go away.(Intenet connection went) Rob and all those that are anti the cruising areas. The whole point of all this is the freedom of movement , to sit in a car park and meet etc. No willy on show. But a question for all the anti’s. Have you ever had sex outside? With a partner? If you have then you are as guilty as those on the cruising areas. If havent and have always conducted your sex life behind a locked door in a bedroom, then please forgive. But my parents are 68 and 72, and have often laughed at the fact that my sister was concieved in the back of a van in 1960. See even the straights do it! Ask any one if they have never had some sort of sexual contact outside and 99.9% will say they have. IN that case the whole counrty should have an asbo!

  17. Very insightful dave, and don’t go away, you’ve made some very good points. I always find it sad that although I’ve been able to live openly, there’s so many men and women who haven’t and I think if these areas truly serve the social purpose you say they do then they should be protected. I always wish I could find some of these old gay people and have a chat with them, it sounds like you can learn alot.

  18. Dave: You make it sound like you’re a pensioner! I am older than you, and I have NEVER had to resort to scrambling through the undergrowth with my trousers round my ankles. I would have thought by your age you would have learned to show a little more dignity.

  19. I feel very naive. I had never even heard of cruising places until a couple of weeks ago walking in the park with my dogs when I was advised not to go over the other side of the river because that was where ‘the queers have sex’. I didn’t go over the river because I figured my dogs lolloping around would cramp somebody’s style. But I honestly didn’t know it happened until then.

  20. Its not as though people weren’t cruising there until the bags of condoms appeared. It was the other way around. If people are going to engage in sex with partners whose STI/HIV status is unknown, then for goodness sake! At least try to ensure they stay safe. Provision of condoms is the highly responsible thing to do in this situation.

    As for the issue of local residents not wanting cruising near where they might want to walk their dogs etc, well fair enough, but that’s a whole other debate.

  21. but rob, you didnt answer my questions, have you ever had sex outside?

  22. I have!

  23. Lorna McArdle 23 Sep 2009, 9:48am

    Make a change but I agree with RobN
    ‘The shocking truth is, you ARE breaking the law and should be treated appropriately. Haven’t you people got homes to go to?’

    Cruising, dogging whatever you want to call it. If you want sex with a stranger pay for it. Which you can be arested for as well. I’m in the over 40’s camp and I do not and can not understand the reason for having sex with strangers in a field. It sounds uncomfortable, degrading, a little smarmy, and brings visions of old men looking for their little boys.

  24. @RobN: What do you mean, cruising is antisocial? On the contrary, it’s an inherently social activity! You’re missing out on a lot of fun…

  25. A common and unpleasant problem at cruising areas is the discarding of rubbish such as condoms and condom and lube packets. This just draws attention to the area and is often cited by the moral brigade as a reason to increase the number of police visits to sites. There is a risk that the condoms being left at this site will contribute to the litter problem because of vandals throwing them around. That has happened at other sites.

  26. The question was have we had sex outside. My answer was yes. Didn’t say it was with a stranger. Remember the old country song, Blanket on the Ground! Outside can be a place for spicing it up with a lover.

    The point really, is that these bags of condoms nailed to the trees aren’t really for anyone to use. It’s not about safe sex. It’s about getting rid of gay sex from public places.

    And the guy who warned me about the place in the park assumed I was one of those shockable people who would be offended by the very existence of gays, let alone them having sex, and join him in a round of ‘wasn’t like this in the good old days when we had law and order’.

  27. Lorna McArdle 23 Sep 2009, 3:00pm

    I think really my main hang up is the fact I can’t hold my partners hand in public let alone want to have sex with her in open land for people to catch us.

    Rose it’s not about gay cruising grounds it’s also dogging for straights too none of it is allowed. But for some reason the gay community seem to think it’s still ok and a given right do what was happening 100 years ago.

  28. Dave: Simple answer: No. Never. I leave Al Fresco shagging to animals.

  29. “I leave Al Fresco shagging to animals.”

    How positively boring of you. You probably have a “sex night” once a month too.

  30. Brian Burton 23 Sep 2009, 4:01pm

    Putney towing path was my cruising venue in the 1960s One had to be careful of the ‘Trick Cyclist’ who frequented the tow-path.

    And remember you who are afraid of ‘Asbos!’ Homosexuality was a prison offence when I was cruising!!

  31. George: I haven’t had sex in years. I’m personally quite happy about it. It saves a fortune in laundry bills. Sex is terribly overrated anyway. As Johnny Rotten once quoted: “Sex is three minutes of squelching noises”.

  32. “Sex is terribly overrated anyway”

    Well, that explains why you’re so angry and frustrated all the time.

  33. George: Who’s frustrated? I’ve never been happier. I’m not the one hanging around at two in the morning in freezing parks desperate to get their end away.

  34. “George: Who’s frustrated? I’ve never been happier. I’m not the one hanging around at two in the morning in freezing parks desperate to get their end away.”

    Oh, please. The anger? The rage? The constant tantrums you show here? And you’re “happier”???? Oh, wait, that’s me convinced ed! Yeah, good one….

    And you think the only place you can get sex as a gay man is a park??? Maybe you should make an effort to make some friends or something, at least then you might be able to conduct a healthy sexual relationship. You never know, maybe then you wouldn’t be such a severe case of the “old cranky bastard” syndrome.

    Keep your catholic priest celibacy, and I’ll keep my sex life with my partner, thanks!

  35. George: “And you think the only place you can get sex as a gay man is a park???”

    No I don’t, you f_ckwit. Just because cabbages are green does not mean everything that is green must be a cabbage. The things that make me angry and cranky are wanky f_cking gays mate. That is entirely why I now avoid them wherever possible. I certainly don’t need all the crap, attitude and baggage attached with gay men just so I can get a shag once in a while. Like I said, sex is overrated, and faggots like you certainly are.

  36. “faggots like you certainly are”

    What “intelligent” language.

    Wow. You’re a complete basket case, aren’t you? You ever think of getting any professional help for your many “issues” (and calling them “issues” would be the understatement of the year)?

    I sure would love to be in your shoes for a day, just to experience an ageing ugly old crank with self persecution issues and the vocabulary range of a ASBO recipient… just for a day, mind, it would be such a novelty for me.

    Well done, RobN, you’re quite the apotheosis of misery. Its no wonder your celebrate, who would want to have sexual relations with one of natures losers like you? The celibacy must be enforced rather than self imposed.

    Why no just go top yourself, there’s a good boy. You might be of more benefit to humanity as fertiliser.

  37. George: Oooh! “apotheoisis” – Have you been flicking through a dictionary? Shame you didn’t look up the noun for “celibacy”, it’s “celibate”, not “celebrate” you moron.

    As for sex and/or relationships (haha, ‘gay relationship’, another oxymoron.) – Anybody knows it’s as easy as falling off a log (and has usually the same response) to get it on the gay scene. Personally, I find it about as rewarding as picking the fluff out of my belly button.

    I am not miserable, and I don’t have issues. I just live my life the way I wish. It’s just some of us aren’t willing to be forced by peer pressure to conform to the stereotype. Please carry on acting like animals, and everyone else will continue to view you accordingly.

    If gay people want equality and change, it’s a two-way stretch. Somehow I think though that many gay men out there aren’t willing to budge so much as an inch.

  38. “I am not miserable… blah blah blah blah yeah yeah yeah”

    Who gives a toss. You’re impotent old fart with nothing better to do than masquerade as a gay man on a gay site. You thinking of gay men as animals only shows what you must think of yourself, which is probably less than we think of you, and thats saying something. And given you advertise that second rate web company so often in here, we’ve all seen what a ugly dogface f*** you are, no wonder no one will sleep with you… Helen Keller would have issue with touching you. Its just a shame you’re as ugly on the inside as you are on the outside. A man with zero redeeming qualities. How proud your mother must be.

    You know, given how many people an an internet site think your a complete and utter waster of space, I can only imagine people in the real world must think you are noting but a piece of faecal matter.

  39. LOL @ George… you said it mate. Animal? Me? Just because I’m gay? An animal in bed yeah but that’s where the similarity ends! :) Sorry, I suppose we mustn’t offend St. RobN with our carnal desires given he doesn’t have a sex drive.

  40. Andy: You said it mate. In bed. I personally have no problem with people having sex, whatever their sexuality. I just think resorting to shagging in public parks pretty f_cking low.

    Meanwhile George continues to blather in his own mildly offensive manner. Like anyone really gives a flying sh1t. Only a person that has completely lost the plot has to resort to personal insults to try and regain lost ground. (Not that you had ever gained any in the first place.)

    I think this thread has seen better days. I’m sure your pathetic presence will surface elsewhere soon with predictable regularity.
    I’m gone.

  41. “I’m gone.”

    ‘Bye now! You’re a delight to have around, simply a delight!

  42. Im not the only one to have ever had sex in a park am i?
    I was under the impression here that under 18s could get away with it =]
    Especially since nobody else was around and i was with my partner

  43. What a prat that RobN is…. I’d never suggest this normally, but Rob should go to one of those Exodus exgay conversion programs to make him straight, he’s really not too happy with being gay. It won’t work, of course, but it might get him the hell off this site so we don’t have to listen to his depressing anger.

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