Many men with a sexual identity crises were ‘initiated’ as children or young persons by older peadophiles.
Did Mark Oaten have a “sexual identity crisis”? He says he didn’t but maybe you know better. And please could you provide references for your statement that “many men” were “initiated as children” by “older paedophiles” (and maybe explain what a “younger paedophile” is)? References are always useful when you are stating “facts” to distinguish a factual statement from a personal hunch.
It sounds like what he’s describing was a situation where he was abused/molested by an adult when he was 9.
It’s also possible that what Mr. Oaten is experiencing is False Memory Syndrome. The problem is that when a potential, or probable, victim (straight or gay) identifies abuse as occurring at a very young sge, and when no clear memory path which persists into later years seems to have been laid down as a traceable, verifiable, reality, then we have to think, as one of many scenarios, that the putative ‘victim’ may simply be uncomfortable in his, of her, sexual identity and seeking justification for that sense of discomfort by blaming others – not, by any means, that such an explanation will always be the case but one has to bear it in mind that sometimes it will be the case.
Sometimes, very rarely indeed, youngsters such as Mr. Oaten purports to tell us that he was when these incidents took place, possess an advanced emotional development at variance with their far more juvenile physical development, sometimes vice versa. Obviouly that, if it is the case, is going to cause great stress later in life as the incidents from childhood are recalled by the adult person and no obvious explanation can be reasoned to by them.
However, the adult abuser of the young Mr. Oaten (if such an incident is true given the fact that Memories can be induced by abusive, so-called, therapists) should, of course, curtailed his, or her, propensities and allowed the juvenile Mr. Oaten to mature before foisting his, or her, attentions upon him.
But one must bear in mind, however, that sometimes memories of abuse are quite simply false and born from a person’s own sense of inadequacy, failing and a sense of falling short of what his, or her, peer groups demanded of them at the time.
Not all memories are real memories. Sometimes, but by no means always, memories are what we want them to be in order to justify our current behaviours – and sometimes we are just plain wrong in our recalling because of our fallible physical being.
It does indeed seem a little suspicious that he didn’t recall this childhood relationship till he was undergoing counselling. On the other hand Oaten sounds like someone quite accustomed to a state of denial, or at least compartmentalising his life extremely.
But I wonder why, if he has no “wish to drag the case up today” he’s publishing it in the first place.
“Obsessed by retaining his youth, fearful of turning 40″ … just the sort of person you’d want as an MP, isn’t he?!
Everyone must make their own mind if coming out is right for them. persoannly, I would say that if you are gay and you don’t come out, you are never going to be happy with life, especially if you take on the added wife and kids (which is an easy thing to fall in to) I have had three “str8″ mates who have been in this situation and only felt happy once they had divorced. However, this is NOT fair on the wife and kids; a real catch 22!!! I have one colleague who will not do it and his personality swings are gross! IF he came out, I am sure he would be happier but guess wot? wife and two kids involved.
John MJ, #4, well pointed out! I have watched Oaten on a number of TV programmes recently and I suspect he is trying to reclaim a place in the public eye – he enjoys the notoriety. He wants it all: to be accepted fully by straights (so he married and had kids), to enjoy his attraction to men, and to be “a celebrity”.
He’s playing the profile game. His periodic utterances about his past remind me of the utterances spouted by Rupert Everett – another individual using anything to keep himself in the public eye AND earn money.
Expect to eventually see copies of Oaten’s book in the remainder bookshops, going for as little as £1. That’s where I picked up a copy of Everett’s biography for £1. (“The Works” – UK remainder bookshop chain – is currently selling off hardback piles of Julie Andrews’ latest autobiography for £2.99!)
This cockered clapper-clawed miscreant is totally bereft of any sense of morality, let alone deceny.
He should have departed from public life a long time ago.
He should consider himself lucky his wife only broke his crook-pated finger.
But then, was he not abused by a ill-nurtured predatory homosexual when young?
Presumably, he was an alter boy.
@Dave my very thoughts….(!)
First he blamed his hair-loss, now he blames a preditory older man. Mr Oaten really is the very model of “confused”.
Anyone would think he had a book to sell..!
I’ll probably buy this to read just out of interest. As someone who was closeted to family when this story broke (in January 2006) I found it interesting.
But I wonder what he hopes to achieve with this book. Surely he will not make a huge amount of money out of it and it will surely cause further embarassment to his wife and children. Last I heard, he was still with his wife and professing to be straight?
Anyone who is anyone has been “abused”. It’s all the fault of those predatory homosexuals of course. He is going for the abuse bravely borne line.
I’m very sorry Mark Oaten did not continue as an outed MP. He lives near to me in Hampshire and I can say he has always been a very good MP for my area.
er…if he doesn’t ‘wish to drag the case up today’ Why is he writing about it…?
And why release it the day before the Lib-dems conference!?
What a self involved, horrible little child.
Go away now please..
Probably the like-minded prats I imagine you are! Mark Oaten is worth two or three of you pair of idiots.
David Skinner, you are double-talking as usual. This time as Pringle!
“But then, was he not abused by a ill-nurtured predatory homosexual when young?”
Well, but then again, were you not educated or nurtured by that creature you call a mother when you were young?
Clearly not. “No Wire hangers” comes to mind.