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Film Review: Hancock

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  1. Alternate Titles:
    ‘Handjob’ and
    ‘Wanted (someone who knows how to write a film script)
    I just finished watching two of the worst films ever. One was called ‘Handjob’ or ‘Hancock’ or something or nothing, and the other film was called ‘Wanted’ or to give it it’s full title ‘Wanted; someone who knows how to write a script, for immediate employment’.
    Watching these films was like having hot wax dripped onto your balls, but not in a pleasant way either.
    It’s clear to all that a long time ago the equation for making an American action film was formerly computed by the pencil necked gonad lovers of Hollywood, etc, and since then they have been endlessly churning out their same old patented sloppy shit.
    Recently, though, I’ve noticed that amazingly the standard of these films have plummeted still further into the depths of crapdom. Read no storyline, zero acting, same lame action sequences and a generous helping of gun crime, murder and genocide.
    The truth is now clear to all and sundry that the film companies must be bankrolled by the arms manufacturers who fund these hour or so long adverts for their wares. In the same way that we witness one senseless murder after another, so the making of these films only serve their designed purpose. i.e, exporting violence, murder and gun crime to all corners of the planet.
    James McAvoy said at the end of ‘Wanted’…. blah, blah, bollocks, something about killing sooooooooo many baddies, “what have you done today?”. What he was really saying is, ‘ I know this was a shit movie but could you do any better, you the tosser who watches this crap?’
    Verdict: More cynical crud from the cock faces who make this kind of turdage.