Gays pessimistic about finding love online

Illustrated rainbow pride flag on a white background.

The internet is now officially the most popular way for gay men and women to find a date.

Research has shown that 87% of gay men and 58% of lesbians have used the internet to find a prospective partner in the past 12 months.

But over the same period only 18% of men and 27% of women have had a serious relationship, suggesting that finding the right partner is like finding a needle in a haystack.

That doesn’t mean the gay community isn’t trying, or that they have given up on the fairy-tale ending of living happily ever after in a civil partnership.

The research carried out by gay-parship.co.uk found that 47% of gay men and 41% of gay women are actively looking for a serious long-term relationship, compared to just 16% and 18% respectively looking for casual flings.

Dr Victoria Lukats, psychiatrist and relationships expert, puts paid to the myth that you have to be promiscuous to be gay:

“Our research finally dispels flawed stereotypical assumptions that gay men and women are less likely to want to form a serious relationship.”

But gay people have been working hard at meeting someone.

Over the past 12 months 71% of gay men and women have visited a chat room or registered with an online dating site, while 47% have placed or responded to a personal ad.

A further 12% had joined a more traditional dating agency.

Perhaps unsurprisingly, all this activity hides a penchant for pessimism.

When questioned further, two thirds of people who are looking for something more serious – that’s 72% of gay men and 59% of gay women – said they often doubted they would ever find someone.

So what’s holding the gay community back from finding someone special?

Nearly a third (29%) of gay men and women admitted that high standards and excessive expectations were proving a barrier, while a further 32% claimed they just didn’t attract the right people.

But the biggest barrier to meeting someone is shyness, cited by 42% of gay men and 29% of women.

Advertisement Remove ads

Overall 87% said they like to flirt, but fear of rejection prevented them from making the first move.

Trust issues are also a big factor, as 32% have been hurt in a previous relationship. and 21% put it down to a pressured career leaving little time for the pursuit of love.

The research questioned 1,000 adults over the age of 18 on their attitudes and experiences of dating.

Comments (0)

MyPinkNews members are invited to comment on articles to discuss the content we publish, or debate issues more generally. Please familiarise yourself with our community guidelines to ensure that our community remains a safe and inclusive space for all.

Loading Comments