Former New Jersey Governor James McGreevey reveals that he once resorted to anonymous gay hook-ups and highway rest-stops, according to the Associated Press, which reviewed excerpts from his memoir, due in bookstores later this year.

Mr McGreevey, who came out in 2004 while announcing he intended to resign his post as governor, will go into detail on his longtime struggle with coming to terms with being gay in his book The Confession.

Excerpts were published on Sunday in Newark’s The Star-Ledger, sharing, among other things, that Mr McGreevey engaged in these encounters secretly because he feared coming out publicly would hurt his chances of being a politician.

“So, instead, I settled for the detached anonymity of bookstores and rest stops, a compromise, but one that was wholly unfulfilling and morally unsatisfactory,” an excerpt read.

According to the Star-Ledger, HarperCollins is paying the 48-year-old up to $500,000 for the 384-page memoir. At an appearance at Saturday’s BookExpo America in Washington, D.C., he told reporters his book is “painfully honest.”

The excerpts do not detail his two marriages or the scandal that rocked his career as governor, when he acknowledged a gay affair and said he would resign his post in the coming months during a televised news conference.

An alleged affair between Mr McGreevey and a former aide is not discussed.

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